Griffin is 4.5

Four and a half.  We have been talking about being four and a half for MONTHS.  You are so excited to be four and a half.  And that is worth celebrating to me.  So we made a cake.  A 1/2 cake to be exact.  We also sang half of the happy birthday song.  You had a pretty great day.  And I love that you love a celebration.  You are a smart smart boy.  You are kind.  Energetic.  You hate sleeping.  You have a lot of emotions that you have a hard time controlling.  You feel deeply.  I love you.  I love having conversations with you.  You remember EVERYTHING.  You also know everything.  You are competitive and a sore loser.  You are active.  You are handsome.  You love making paper airplanes.  You have moved from playing trains to only building train tracks that include legos.  YOU LOVE LEGOS.  A lot.  And coloring.  And I love you.  More than anything in the world.  My first baby.  The reason I'm a mama.  1/2 of the reasons I wake up in the night.  You never want to be alone.  Sometimes I can't wait for you to go to bed because you have spoken every word that has ever gone into your brain all day.  Then you go to bed and I need you.  I love you.

Life with three

Life with three kids is crazy.  With 2 kids I managed to keep our house all clean and mostly organized and did things like arts and crafts with my kids.  And I went to work.  Um, what?  Right now, post retirement, I feel like I sit never, clean never, do arts projects infrequently.  I feel like no one gets any attention.  I love all of you.  I can't wait on bed time.  When it gets to bed time I ache for you and lament everything I've done wrong that day and how I didn't hold you enough.  All of you.

Our house is messy.  We have piles of laundry which I swore I wouldn't have.  I stay until you are asleep.  I feed you quickly.  I let you get by with a lot of things.  Sometimes you learn how to sneak into our bed and I let you.  You are each growing and I hate it and I love it because I get to see the little people you are becoming.

I wonder if you could ever know the love I have for you.  Sometimes I wonder if you have lost your minds because you are screaming.  Sometimes I wonder if the world will learn to cherish you like I do.  Mostly, I know that the world won't and I hate to share you with the world.  I keep thinking that i need a night away or a full night of sleep, but when I think about leaving you I get sad.

I have great aspirations of making miracles for you, but right now, I feel like I'm failing at that.  But I love you.  a lot.  Even when you lose your minds and I know mine is already gone.

Don't change.  Keep changing.  Never settle for less than miracles.

HMB ALMOST 2.

Little Mey Mey.  Oh my little Mey Mey.  This is what we call you and what you call yourself.  "I too" or "DATS MEY MEY."  "I want Mey mey."  "I mey mey" are uttered a million times a day.  You are kind of adorable.  And a mess.  And you get by with it because you are adorable.  You laugh.  Lots.  You make hilarious faces.  You are still a biter.  You get mad and over it quickly.  You love to share.  You are typically a great eater.  Except when you don't eat.  Nightly, you run through the house naked before your bath saying, "DEADY, set, DOoooooooo."  You reference a lot of things by their sounds.  The Count, from Sesame Street is "Ah, Ah, Ah."  Curious George is "ooh ooh."  Cookie Monster is cookie eating sounds.  Makes me laugh.  You get mad at people or they hurt your feelings and you whine and say, "bubba.  Or DADDY."  You are a snuggle bug.  You love to be held.  YOu say "up up" a million times a second.  You want to wear shoes 24-7.  You also want me to wear shoes.  You do things you aren't supposed to and when you get in trouble you just answer with a "sorry.  Sorry."  You are my best sleeper which means I love you.  A lot.  Mostly, I love everything about that baby belly of yours and hope that you never ever grow up.  Yuu are in my very favorite stage and I hope that you never change.

Oliver Graham Black--4 months old

How did you turn into a 4 month old?  You are cute.  You laugh when I take off your clothes--what a boy.  You laugh when I tickle you.  You study us before you decide to smile.  You do not get bathed often enough.  You don't spit up like Meyer.  You sleep a tiny bit better than Griffin.  I cut out dairy for you for TWO WEEKS to see if it would help your reflux.  It didn't.  SCORE ONE FOR ME.  I also lost zero lbs during that two weeks.  Meaning, clearly, my body NEEDS dairy.  OH wait, this is about you.  You track us.  You take a ton of cat naps a day.  Not sure how to break you of that.  You have slept one night in your own room in your own crib.  This means you will quickly be kicked out of our bathroom.  Once you do it once... well... there ya go.  Except now.  because you are in our bathroom.  because you have a cough.  And a whole floor away is just too far.  I hold you a lot.  I also feel like I lay you down a lot.  I hate that.  I worry you will feel unloved.  Except that you get a lot of physical love from your brothers.  Who love you, physically, a lot.  Griffin calls you his favorite brother.  Meyer loves to call you "baby" and "pat" you and poke out your eyes.  You can roll from your tummy to your back... when you remember that you can do that.   have gone through your first Christmas.  Your first new years.  YOu are starting to grab for toys.  You haven't yet spoken your first word, but I'm sure baby, you are going to go far.
Your stats.

You are 12 lbs and 6 oz.  You are in the 5% for weight.  You are 23 inches and in the 1st % in height.  And a big ol 15% for your noggin at 40.5 inches.