You lost me after "Welcome."

So my husBen is totally a big deal.  He was on stage for the kick off of NI week in front of 5000 people.  For reals.  NI week is when all of the national instruments locations from all of the world come to Austin and do... things.  They also have lots of meetings with their "alliance" partners.  Lots of dinners.  Lots of late nights.  Lots of early mornings.

So I battled the traffic to see Dr. Ben Black on a big ol' stage.  Let me tell you how this went.  It took me almost an hour to get there, then I parked on the street (heck yes to paying the machine with a credit card), went inside and got a latte and a scone.  Total convention center prices.  Um, hello $8.  Ridiculous.  Followed everyone who appeared to know what they were doing to a GIGANTIC room.  Then it started.  "Welcome....ramble ramble ramble ramble.  Computers.  Moore's law.  Other things.  Simulation."  I have no idea.  Literally the president of their company started talking and I have NO IDEA what he said--other than something about 1965.  Apparently, my technology knowledge is totally behind 65.  Whatevs.


I was helping Ben with his lines on Monday night and stopped and said, "wait.  Is anyone else going to know what you're talking about?"  Apparently yes... but only engineery people.  Nothing like an $8 coffee and computer speak to make a girl feel dumb.

So what have I been doing?  Cleaning.  Cleaning out the pantry, cleaning out the cabinets, cleaning out our laundry room, doing laundry, cleaning toys, and today I did the floors... and promptly found myself saying, "Maggie.  Please don't vomit on the floor right now.  I just cleaned it."

This is not configuring properly.  I should have had an engineer do it, I suppose.  Up above is the monkey my mom made for G for his bday.  Want one?  Any animal.  Let me know.

And him sleeping.  Oh.  My.  Goodness.  I swoon.  I took the chance on the adorableness vs. waking up.  Hells yes to the video monitor to alert me of cuteness.  The other pics are of me being an awesome mom and letting him watch some TV, in a diaper, while laying on Maggie.  I'm up for mom of the year.  I also give him diet coke in a bottle in his bed.  (not true.)

We'll save another post for the weaning discussion.  Down to 2x per day.  Next week... I'm thinking once.  Bring it.

exorcism?

Last week G$ started saying "nana."  Cutest smartest thing ever.  Until today when he woke up screaming unconsolably from his nap.  Told me he needed to eat.  Sat in the high char and re-started screaming for a NANANANANANA.  No, I'm not torturing him.  But no one needs 3 nana's in 2 days.

Exorcisms involve glasses of wine, right?

The power of suggestion.

I'm under it.  Here's the thing.  I have had 2 blog "friends" post about the SAME BEACH vacay in the last few days.  I mean, they weren't ON the same trip, but both took (what appear to be) amazing pictures from the same BEACH.  A beach I've never heard of in a state where I've never been.  I decided I needed to go there before I even googled (which LBH, I google all things I don't know including parenting advice) to find is in Oregan.

It was a beach AND there are long sleeves involved.  That is like the best of both worlds.  And their trips were with family and friends and kids.  I mean, who doesn't like to see a little one in some beach gear or a button up and a sweater and some boat choose?

So I mean, I guess I'm not saying I want to be on THEIR trip (though I love an invite--call me xoxo.)  I think it's that they look like they're having SO much fun.  They are with people they love.  Laughing.  Having some drinks (in my imaginations), hanging out with friends kids.  It's TRADITION.  And this is all in my head.  I have no idea in reality.  Here is the reality--I love the beach.  I love long sleeves.  I love jackets.  I love trips with friends.  I want to go on a trip with some friends.  I love children.  Love.

I need to go to this place.  Stat.

Burrrrr cold front

It's chilly today.  I mean, it's only in the mid 90's tonight so we ate dinner outside.  And said it was "nice."

We've clearly lost our effing minds if we consider that nice.  Whatever.

It's back to miserable this week with temps at 107.

Who is taking us in?  We come with baby, 2 dogs, a lot of jeans, and some vino.

I don't enjoy bumper stickers--in general.  Though the other day I did giggle when I saw a "screw it, lets go ride" harley davidson sticker on a minivan... but that was mostly as I was shaking my head at the irony.  However, maybe I'm wrong.  Maybe I WILL be that parent.  

Today G$ got his 1 year (and one week) shots.  All three of them.  Know what else?  My doc said he's "advanced."  Yep, she asked if he had 1 word.  I scoffed.  ONE word?  Try like 15-20.  He can also show you his toes.  She said, "what?  He can already do body parts?"  I thought about saying "of course" but really, it's only the toes.  He also does nothing on command so when she asked him to wave--he did nothing.  I'm sure she thinks I'm making it up.  BUT ADVANCED.  My baby (not toddler) is advanced!  So advanced that he refuses to give up nursing.  REFUSES.  Because, you know he knows everything already.  Basically, what this means is that me being dumb has come before I thought.  

And, you know how shots make most kids sleep a little more?  No, not mine.  No way.  Who needs to sleep?  Not this kid.  So we went to buy him some new big boy shoes.  Ummmmmmmmm when he can he start shopping at tjmaxx?  Apparently kid shoes are spensive... and they can wear them for THREE MONTHS.  THREE MONTHS.  (and by big boy shoes, I mean still super flexy soft shoes that are a little more rubberized than the robeez.)  Sigh.

So maybe I am that parent.  I'll be the "my kid is on the honor roll" parent.  In the minivan.  

Maybe I should start driving a harley.

.

Remember when...

Cleaning up after parties didn't look anything like this?

It's like going to the movies...

but it's a movie you hate and you can't believe you are there and you can think of a zillion other things you'd rather be doing like getting a bikini wax or cutting off your arm or something.

That's how my monday started.  Well, it actually started better than that, progressed as normal.  I dropped G off at Mrs. Frances' and was on my way to work with my baggy of cheerios and a diet coke.  All things normal, until I saw a 2 year old on a sidewalk... so I slow down.  Is someone chasing after him?  Nope.  Keep slowing down and looking.  No one.  U turn as the kid is starting to cross this super busy street.  The lady behind me was trying to figure out what I was doing until she saw him too.  We both stop and walking to him.  There is NO ONE AROUND.  No one.  Just a 2 year old with his blanket, a diaper that he had been in since the night before and a tshirt.  Oh, and he didn't speak english.  I had a baggy of cheerios and assorted baby toys so we tried to coerce him with those.  The cheerios worked-ish.  Another lady from the apartment complex is pulling out and struck by the situation and she stops.  (We have called the police, fyi.)  She says she's lived there a long time and has never seen them.  A new guy is turning INTO the complex and we flag him down.  He's a maintenance guy there and he goes and gets his golf cart trying to think of where this kid might live.  HE says that there is a new family who is renting by the week.  He goes to their place.  The door is open.  The lady is asleep.  The cops get there.  She does not come running.  She just walks over to us.  Picks up her little boy and says, "thanks."  That's it.  Nothing.  No explanation.  NOTHING.  Her child has been missing a good 45 minutes and NO PANIC.  The cops followed her back.  I hope they called CPS.  Though, in reality, I know that basically nothing will be done even if they did.

I just don't understand.