I waannnnnt this.

a lot.

Initial necklace.

White girl problems.

I've been showering in the AM's.  Early.  And pumping.  And trying to get dressed.  EARLY.

Last night M-dawg was up a lot.  effer.

So tonight I showered to prepare for tomorrow (aka, be clean.)  I came downstairs and Ben asked if my hair was wet.

Um... I just showered, so yes?

I didn't know if you just got hot?

white girl problems.

Father's day requests.

I like giving prezzies.  I have a HARD time finding things for Ben that aren't drinking related.  Luckily, he really likes drinks so I'm kind of set.

This year I got an email with some ideas that I will share with you, in case your husband/baby daddy ALSO enjoys bevs... and weed eating.  SO if you were looking for some ideas, I'll give you Ben's list of goodness.

Lamest.

Most effective for life.  Our life. Ben's life as a beer brewer/working at a place that has happy hours.  And not living in the same city as friends.  And, beer drinking.

Whiskey glass.

As if...

Cheers baby daddy.

The Little Gym

The Little Gym is where we have spent our Saturdays for the last 1.5 years.  And a lot of Thursdays.  Thursdays are often my saving grace.  We are taking a little break this summer, but not before "show week."  Which really, was just like every other week except for the awards ceremony.  Same usual chaos.  

children's museum. Griffin clearly needs mom to remember what he wore last time she took pictures.

Our final "event" of maternity leave.  The Children's museum.  Ben took the morning off.  We went downtown.  I forgot to check what time the museum opened.  This lack of planning helped us get coffee and breakfast tacos.  G.  could.  not.  wait.

Please, note he is wearing the same outfit as the zoo pictures.  Blame dad.  He takes what's on top of the stack.  and, since I do laundry 465x a week... it's the same damn thing.  Ug.  I should take pictures more often.  

Also, please note that I KNOW he needed a haircut.  He has now had one.  Your welcome.

Poor Meyer never has any fun.

zoo. quick, padlock the animals.

We went to the Austin zoo a few weeks ago.  Trying to get in some fun "before Mama goes back to work" adventures.  AND, Ben was off for Memorial day so it was the perfect opportunity.  We got there early so it wasn't crazy hot or crazy busy.  Things I thought G would love, lions and tigers and bears, OH MY.  He ran past.  Of course.  Just like when we go on play dates at someones house and he loves something, I get it, and he plays with trains.  

Our zoo is SMALL.  And everything was behind some sort of tiny thin wired area with padlocks.  So, you know, like super safe.  

Lots of rescue animals.  A HUGE feed the animals section.  And, most importantly, an m'fing train.  (Please use a Samuel L. Jackson voice here.)

Now be photo bombed.

Why yes, that conductor IS on her cell phone.  Safety first.  Austin's finest.

Uhhhhh 2 kids and free time.

So I was trying to figure out how the hell I posted when G was little… and on regular occurrence.  Then it occurred to me that I had one child and was home alone with him from 8:30-5:30.  I also couldn’t get shit done around the house.  It’s amazing how striking that first child can be.  What a jolt to your life.  Then your second one is born and you’re like… wait, um, what was my problem? 

Fyi—my problem at the time was a baby who didn’t sleep, a husband who had no idea what to do, and bats… and leaky boobs.  And a leaky bathroom.  And paranoia about leaving G with someone other than me.  The all knowing mother.  The mother who took her child to his care provider’s house with very specific instructions that she kindly listened to.  The one who had raised 2 children of her own (one who works with her) and had kept kids for 20 years.  KIDS.  Multiples.  At one time.  She must have laughed at me.  And, because we are in Texas she probably said, “Bless her heart.”

Now I leave the house and think things like… did I change his diaper?  Did I BRING any diapers?  Eh, there is always a target close. 

Also, last night I threw caution to the wind and took off my nursing tank and breast pads and slept in freedom.  I’m not sure I can go back.  For a YEAR I wore something 24-7.  This time I made it almost 12 weeks to say eff it.  What’s a little leakage in the company of my own house?  (Insert frightened husband look and statement of, “Does it just come and go like that all the time?”  Yes, it does.  “What are you going to do over night?  I mean… I won’t judge you.”  Ehhh we’ll just see what happens.  It’s like science.  Only less calculated and with no theories.

What I learned yesterday about having 2 kids at daycare and a job—Meyer starves himself at daycare just like G did.  He was fine and did not decide someone else was his mom (that I know of.)  He sleeps in our bathroom just like G did which is a total inconvenience.  Crib now raised back up.  Thinking he may move there tonight.  G loves having him with him.  The other kids love to be ON him.  I’m sure a cold is coming soon.  Getting myself up, showered, pumped, feeding M, G up, breakfasted, dressed, pottied etc takes a lot of effing time.  M needs to lose his 5:45 feeding (sometimes 4:30) because he gets up at 7…. And because if he eats at 5:45 I just have to get up.  Really, this is about  me.  Griffin has had some hard nights with bad dreams.  My mom guilt makes me think it’s my fault for being back at work.  My realistic mind knows that’s probably not the case.  So this morning he slept late.  I didn’t see him.  Ben took him to school.  If he sleeps late he doesn’t nap.  Yay.

In other “exciting” news… My insurance covers a new pump at 100%.  I shouldn’t be so excited, but I am.