Thursday, June 12, 2008

Get out the map get out the map...

So, as I was standing, sweating like wild, at the Indigo Girls concert last night, I began drafting a letter to lesbians... yes, I was judging them, but only in the way I judge everyone, including myself. I heart the women who love women, and have wonderful Lesbo friends, so hopefully, I won't be offending you. And, if I do... I apologize.

Dear teeny tiny lesbian in a large men's white tshirt, why do you dance in a way that makes me concerned that you have a medical condition?

Dear many lesbians in general, why do you wear scrunchi's and where do you purchase them? Did you come out in 1985 and therefore quit trying to progress with the "norm"? Perhaps the indigo girls should put scrunchi's on their website? I think it would be a huge seller. I'll market this idea to them.

Dear committed Indigo Girls lovers... I know that this is an event for you. I know that your whole heart is poured into singing Power of Two. I know that you must close your eyes and wave your hands as if you are a pentecostal having a moment with the Big G. I know that you have a cig in one hand and a miller light tallboy in the other, but do not judge me as being less than you because I am drinking Amstel Light and have a rinestoned bobby pin in my hair. I am just as committed to the Girls as you I even make wavy hand signs on Closer to Fine. Note, however, I do not suddenly gain an urge to dance and bump into people because I'm bouncing around with my girlfriend.

Dear new friend I made in line at the porta potty, were you hitting on me or were you just being nice and really did like my skirt? If you were hitting on me, thanks! It makes me feel appreciated. I have no ability to notice when women are hitting on me. I get confused. In a lesbian relationship, would I be more masculine or feminine? who knows.

Dear lesby mullet women, do you all get your hair cut at the same place? Or, do you still have your Cosmo from 1985 before you came out and you just take in pictures of that to the stylist?

I'm sure that more things will come to me. I was amzed by the number of chaco's, men's plaid shorts, wife beeters, and ugly hats. Kudo's to you.

In closing, the concert was ah-mazing though ungodly hot.


The overly straight girl, who often wears pink doesn't ever want people to question her gender, who loves the Girls, who was concerned about her eyemakeup smearing and if you could see my underpants through my orange skirt.

Closer I am to fine.

Monday, June 9, 2008

doggy blog

I'll have to add pictures when I get home today, but we got a new dog this weekend. She's absolutely adorable and apparently has the bladder of a small whale that she likes to release when we are away. Ok, this has only happened 2x, but still... a lot of urine from one dog. We have named her Maggie Mae and she's a golden something mix. She's about 40 lbs, pretty tall and lanky. She's sweet and totally scared of Giz and has no clue what to do with toys. She'll learn though. We had a pretty good weekend with her. I think it will get a lot better after she's lived with us a while and she's just a normal part of everyday life. We're also trying to teach her not to jump on the furniture... this proves to be difficult... and that when she jumps in bed it is on my head and then in my spot.

I also started my new job on Sunday. It was different... and I' mjust not positive I'm wanting to work there... especially when I have lake invites! It went well. I went to Sunday school, church, MYF. I just have a hard time filling 2 hours on Sunday nights. Maybe we can eat for an hour and a half? Negative. Junior high boys don't do so well with that. I'm stopping working for Rodney and letting another friend take over for me. I'm sjust crazy overwhelmed with getting this down and then also the school job. I went and visited there last week and holy poo... Lots of work. And clearly, we all know, I'm not cut out for the hard working life. Tomorrow is my first staff meeting... and my interview for a different job. Wish me luck with both!

I also ran 8 miles out of peer pressure on Saturday. I went with the intentions of running 6, but... I give in easily. I'm still holding out on not doing the FULL marathon, but I may give in on that as well. I actually don't know anyone doing the half so I don't want to run by myself... But at the same time.... I don't want to run for so long that I have to eat a meal in the middle of working out. I find this to be terribly uncool. Maybe I'll just get really really fast and this will not happen and I can finish in record breaking time? I'm guessing no, but it's worth a try :)

Thursday, June 5, 2008

whirling... ok, spinning because I'm not a dervish.

So, I'm slowly spinning out of control... again. What the hell was I thinking taking 2 jobs? What was I thinking taking a job at a church? What was I thinking telling my current employer I'd work for him until August?
Ps. I wasn't thinking.
I'm not sure I can do all of these things. I tried to tell current employer this and that I needed to not continue to work for him. He guilted me into staying. I went to both of my "new" jobs this week for meetings and to get a tour.... I feel like my heart may explode with anxiety. And to top it all off... my computer died. Like dead. Ben says we can salvage it, but I don't want to. I want a new one that will make my life complete and organized and make my jobs easy. I'm pretty sure you can add that to the basic package. I think I've seen it before. SO, now i'm not only accepting donations for cancer research, but for a new laptop to actually do work on and not just check my email.
Seriously, all of this is making me feel like I may explode at any moment. And, to top it all off, I got used to my hair color and now my bangs are out of control. What is this world coming to? I'm relatively sure that the expensive conditioner I purchased will also solve this problem. perhaps I can also pour it on my laptop and it will work miracles.

In happier news, we're adopting a dog on Friday!! We went to meet her last night at a dog park (giz in tow) and A. He didn't try to eat her or ANY OTHER DOG THERE and B. she's freakin adorable. And, she's a girl so I can purchase pink things! It's the small things in life that get me excited I suppose... well, clearly the small things because these large looming things are making me less than excited.

I have anotehr job interview for a separate job on Tuesday. I know, I'm a jerkface if I take it. I haven't been offered it, but it sounds Ah-mazing and it's way closer to my house than either of the other jobs and I wouldn't work on weekends and basically... I'm praying that it will be like the miracle of all miracles in my life and all of a sudden everything will fall into place and I'll be able to figure out the rubik's cube in 5 minutes. I better use the good conditioner that morning (as it is also the first morning of my church staff meetings. suck. I hat ethose things.)

So please send one up to JC for me, or to whomever you pray and I'll pull out my copy of "Footprints." I just need some direction, some focus, and perhaps someone yelling in my ear which direction to turn.

Ps. it stinks like microwavable frozen dinner in the office today. nast.

Sunday, June 1, 2008


Ok, So seriously, how do I go from no jobs to having 2 and being interested in another one that I actually have an interview for this week. What the hell? ANd what the hell do I do if I get offered it... granted that I may want it? Who knows? Ug, I'll keep you updated.

In other news... I ran 6 miles and felt like I might die on Saturday. Ick. Apparently not running the right amount during the week kind of screwed me. I'm back on track this week. Luckily, it isn't Memorial day again. That was not good for my liver nor my running.

So... ran yesterday, then pooled it, then dinner by the lake. Delicious day. today we woke up and went kayaking down on town lake and then had a TASTY brunch at Magnolia. What Sunday isn't complete without a nap? Had one. Granted, it will be like my last one ever because I have to start working on Sundays (lame.) How do I get out of this? apparently it's required if you work at a church. Silly.

I'm still lacking in $ for fundraising. So, give me some.

Umm and it's supposed to be like 98 degrees everyday this week. Air conditioning. check.

And lastly, here are some pics I thought I'd share... and I'm going to be an Aunt? Wha What??