Thursday, January 16, 2014

G is THREE.5.

And says some pretty awesome things.  He is also the most stubborn person on the planet and occasionally hell bent on destruction and time outs.

We painted his nails with sparkly pink nailpolish the other day which he adored.  and has been sure to tell me not to "wash of his sparkle."  I painted mine for .5 seconds and then removed it.  Tossed the nail polish remover pads in the trash.  Later G threw something away and said, "It smells like chloroform in here."

You might think... why does your 3 year old know that word?  And it's because (don't call cps) we hold things up to his face and ask, "does this smell like chloroform to you?"  Mostly, we are genius parents.

He also told me when Meyer was crying the other day that he was crying, "because he needs a lady friend."

He needs to "tell me a question" a lot.  Usually, that means he just wants to tell me something.

He likes to smell his lambies. It's his comfort.  He needs them.  I'm torn between what to do about that.  He didn't take lambie in the car (left in the car when we go places) to Little gym tonight and so he "smelled" me.  I think I'm flattered.

He is the most pickiest eater/not picky eater.  He would eat yogurt for every meal of his life.  And orange juice.  He also love sushi.  Asks for it often.  like raw salmon sushi.

He throws fits that will blow your mind.  He is trying out independence.  He is testing limits.  He is testing ME.

Have you ever had a child that can make you LOSE YOUR EFFING MIND, but has the sweetest heart.  Seriously, the sweetest.  Things hurt his feelings.  He is a big wimp if there is something slightly scary.  He is kind.  He is a great share-er.  He is telling jokes.  He "kids."  He is ridic smart.  He likes to get his "hydration" and his "fitness" on.  He is hilarious.

And in the past week I have had 3 people tell me that he is "so kid," "always generous," and "doesn't follow the crowd when they are making poor choices."  This makes me proud.  And today he told me that he told  a girl at school "I am part of a kind family.  we use kind words."  (because she says not nice things.)

Mostly, I love him more than anything.  He called me his "sweetest gwerl" at bed time.  He made me want to cuss 2 hours before that.  He asked me to "stay and hold his hand a little longer."  He had to "ask me a question--mama, don't forget to check on me."

He is my perfection.  The best big brother.  Gentle.  Loving.  A great bike rider.  A rememberer of ALL names.  My 3.5 year old.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

White people problems.

Austin got a new whole foods today.  Well, they've been building it for like... ever.  I forgot that it didn't open on Monday.  They lured me in with free meat.

Post nap time I got the kids together and headed out.  When I saw the 8 cops directing traffic (no lies) I should have left.  Immediately.  Then.  Right then.  When I didn't I should have left when I attempted to pull into a parking spot and jerk faces wouldn't slow down for me to do this.  ASSHOLES.

Then, I should have turned around with my 3 year old and my baby wearing self when I entered the store and I began sweating because it was 300 degrees and people continued to be jerk faces because there was wine tasting.  And the 80 million employees?  Thanks for blocking the aisle.

I panicked.

I got my free meat.  2 apples.  Pre chilled wine.  (THANK GAWD.)  2 smoothies (after waiting for effing ever because the "group" in front of me didn't know what they wanted until 8 minutes in to talking to the people working there.)  Because I PROMISED my 3 year old we would get a smoothie.

My 10 month old loved a smoothie and proceeded to lose his effing mind and ripping the straw out of my cup.  There were no cart returns.  Anywhere near my car.  Meyer slow loud cried the whole way home while I continued to sweat from my pits.

Free meat and coupons is totally not worth it.

My buzz.  My buzz is my saving grace.

Thursday, January 2, 2014


On January 1, 2013 we potty trained. That seems so so so long ago. I think we went through like 5 pairs of unders in that one day. I was convinced I'd never be able to leave the house. He hasn't slept in a pull up since February, I think. Mama kisses on NYE. his last time in a diaper. Cruisin' in the boxer briefs. Making greens with dad. Ben turned 32. G got strep throat. We didn't know. Apparently it causes tummy aches, yuckiness, and vomiting. He was miserable. And wanted to sleep all the time. On me. His hot hot fevery body on top of a giant whale of a woman who has to pee a lot. Perfect combo. It was valentine's day. He was a super duper super hero. G moved into his new BBB. Big boy bed on February 17, 2013. He has pretty much kicked ass at that. We didn't use rails or anything. He fell out a few times, but not anymore. He has had an accident in the bed only once. (que onset bedwetting because I just said that.) This isn't to say that we didn't turn his door knob around and lock him in. However, the big boy bed is awesome. Which is good... because at that point the crib was a month away from being taken.

And we waited.  We waited on H-Mey to be born.  I took off a week before his due date CERTAIN that he would arrive.  He didn't.  Well, he did.  But like 2 days before his due date.  So we had some good mama and G time (and glammy.) Glam came to visit spring break because I was a giant and what where we going to do with G$?  Thank goodness that worked out!  

I knew M would never come out.  He did.  I woke up at 5 am and my water broke.  I immediately got up and removed the sheets and sanitized them... while the water continued to break.  Because, what's your first thought?  Get a towel and shuffle around the house with it.  Me too.  Glad we are on the same page.

Pretty sure that popping that baby out without drugs is my most accomplishing thing of 2013.  Baby #2.  I love you.  A lot.  

Seriously, I could do a major amount of photos (ok, I already have.)  

Griffin turned THREE.  Three y'all.  He's big.  He is a big kid.  We had a party at our house and it was awesome.  I mean, I had a newborn but it was awesome.  Because this newborn, y'al... he's awesome.  I can't believe how much we love him.  Or how much he fits in our lives.  

I directed camp.  Girl done lost her mind.  

We lived.  we loved.  we (I) turned 34.  We had a first thanksgiving.  We had a first Christmas.  We visited santa.  We went to the beach.  We still didn't get baseboards.

2013.  You kind of rocked.  In March I had a baby.  IN January that baby is able to climb a flight of stairs.  I'm not sure I'll ever have that many changes again. 

Goodness, I love this life.  These boys.  They made 2013 amazing.

Did I catch a Niner in there? HMB 9 months.

Little My my, the destroyer, happy baby--we love you. I can't believe you are NINE months old (and have been for some weeks, but I'm super behind. Sorry.) You laugh. You love. You kiss. You clap your hands every time I pull out a camera. I mean, clearly, SOMEONE should take pictures of you. You eat everything. You spit up less. you pull up. You climb over everything. In fact you may take the most dangerous route to get anywhere. On New Year's eve you decided you can climb up an entire flight of stairs. By yourself. Putting a shirt over your head is probably the worst thing that has ever happened to you. ever. in your life. You are easy to make smile. You like a good cuddle. When I put you to bed and nurse you sometimes you fall asleep. When you do, I stay and snuggle you extra long. I've started telling you "no" forcefully. In response, you turn around and smile at me and continue doing whatever you're doing. (Pulling up on the book shelf, attempting to rip wine out of the wine cabinet...) You are drawn to shoes and putting them in your mouth. You really want whatever I'm drinking. You go in phases of both loving and not loving the bath. You still nap 2x per day. You go to bed around 6 ish and wake up, usually once a night to eat and then wake up for the day around 7 or 7:30. Except I started this post last night and you wanted to defy everything I'm saying. SO I think you may no longer nap or sleep. When we play music or sing you bounce and clap your hands... or do your patented one arm swing motion. White boy dance moves. You say Mama and Da, and bubba. hi. you like to wave. You have an awesome laugh. You look a lot like your brother. you have VERY expressive eye brows. You just had your first Christmas and new year. Really, you have a lot going on in your life. I'm so glad that you are in ours.