Wednesday, May 30, 2012

My everyday car.

Oh yes that IS a cadillac limo.  As a day drive.

I have a new item in my wardrobe.

And I haven't worn it yet.  And I won't wear it until Friday.  On my flight.  TO SAN DIEGO!  FOR FOUR DAYS. 

Which shouldn't over shadow my new tie dyed shirt, y'all.  We did them after our run on Saturday.  And, I don't want to brag or anything, but I think my TD skills are kind of professional.  Or, maybe it's just that I have an unhealthy love of the TD and want to buy the powder to keep on hand for my house only I fear that soon we will have TD'd sheets or something.  It's a serious fear.

Also, Glammy and Poppy were here this weekend.  I got new running shoes (again.  These will clearly make me faster.)  Ben and I went kayaking. 

I got an amazing sunburn.  We went to an awesome pool that G loved until he saw the playground 10 mins later and lost his shit until we left.  I had some day drinks. 

All in all.  An amazeballs weekend.

When did I get a big kid?  Who looks like a KID and not a baby?

Amanoa. ** updated

Can you have latent pregnancy brain?  because mine revisited yesterday.  twice.  I was ironing on the letters for my jersey for Sunday (San Diego WHA WHAAA).  I couldn't figure out why no matter how I turned the N it looked backwards.  Or why when I went to iron on my letters they stuck to the wash cloth.

Probaby because the wash cloth is the wrong material I decided.  (Though I know that's what I've used in the past.)  This time I'll use a pillow case.  So I had to up and get myself to Michael's and buy some more letters.  Thank goodness they now come with 3 A's because it saves me from having to use a V.  I'm arranging my letters.  SAME ISSUE WITH THE N!!!  I make Ben come in and check it out.  He tells me that it is indeed backwards.  Because I need to turn the letters all over.

Hm.  Well, that makes sense.  So I'm saved!

Until I realize that I apparently forgot to turn the D and the A over and they were then afixed to my pillow case.  EFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF.  So then I had to use an O and an V.  I'm no stranger to the creative A.  Or iron on letters for that matter as I've done this approximately..... a MILLION TIMES.

So maybe people will be chearing for Amanoa on Sunday.  I hope she has a good race.

SO I put down the iron.  Picked up a glass of wine.  Over ate some pizza and laughed and cried to Modern Family. 

Anyone have these moments?  When the brain seems to not be working?  When you question your ability to drive heavy machinery?

Just me?

Thursday, May 24, 2012

For reals.

Dr. Ben Black said this made him think of me.

...though I must admit I don't get the math portion except that I've heard him use the phrase "real numbers" before.  I do, however, use the phrase "for reals" and often other rap style lingo.  Tupac told me it's ok.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Like an engagement ring...

I'm not sure I've looked at anything more than I've looked at my lashes this afternoon.  I'm not an impulse buyer.  I am an eyelashes make you glamorous kind of girl.

So when my plumdistrict deal the other day was eyelash extensions I... kind of purchased it.  And today I got them.

It's like when you get boobs.  Only I don't care a thang about boobs.  I do care about the lashes.

I also like diamonds.  Maybe they are connected?

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

winkle winkle

This sweet baby?  Yah... I took him to the doctor today CONVINCED that something was wrong with him.  I mean, why else would he scream for hours on Sunday night?  Why when it's time for him to lay down does he cry?  Why today at nap time did I give him advil, ear numbing drops and orajel?  To cover all bases.  Because I just needed a minute.  And clearly, the child is in pain.

So I skipped my play date to care for my sweet sick baby.

That nothing is wrong with.

That charmed the socks off of the dr's office.

That will be $25.

Monday, May 21, 2012

All it takes is one time.

Just once.  And then... you question all child having decisions.

I let G$ nap with me on Sunday.  He always asks "I nigh nigh mama's bed?"  Meaning he wants to go night night with me.  Because when he's sick.  That's the way it works.  It's an addiction.  Clearly, he will be an addict.  He's also addicted to apple sauce and yogurt.  And yogurt covered raisins.  And shitting his pants.

So yesterday I let him try it.  Then we went to the water park.  After going on a family run yesterday morning.  And he was exhausted.  And then he slept until 2 AM at which point he switched to screaming for the next 4 hours.  And "sleeping" with me again for one hour.  Then he screamed again at nap time.  Losing.  My.  Mind.  Mama's sweet love is an addiction.  Considering switching his addiction to hard liquor.  Or maybe that's what happened to him when he was jumping and then was crying and busted his lip and I feared his teeth fell out.  They didn't.  Then I free style cut his hair.  It was awesome.

So enjoy the pictures from this weekend.

In the middle of our run.  Post turtle looking.  Not wanting to get back in stroller.

Cheese.  Our self portrait at the pool.

At the farmers market.  The guy is doing the splits while he waits for customers.  Of course.

Post long run 2nd breakfast.  The first one included the words "breakfast taco."

Little gym luau


Thursday, May 17, 2012

Mama's day

Last year I was all disgruntled and disappointed and wanted to drink cocktails while driving my car off of a cliff due to the screaming baby who could not be reasoned with.  

This year, my first (third) mothers day.  I had my first mothers day with g in utero.  My second first mother's day that we will not count as it was miserable and then this year, my first third mother's day!  This year we wised up and got a dvd player.  changes your lives.  So does the fact that my child isn't dependent upon the boob for his sources of nutrition.  And that my husband was home.  And basically... my first third mothers day went really well!  

I mean, I didn't get a poem spoken to me in honor of my amazingly kick ass mothering.  I DID get a card and some kendra scott earrings.  And, I got to be a mama.  And, I got to spend the weekend with MY mama.  And my sister.  Who is an awesome mama with her 2.5 children.  And I got to eat my favorite foods.  And my child slept almost the whole way home to the ATX (that's for you Brooke. wink wink.)

So it was awesome.  Lets do it again.

Check out those earrings.  Thanks G$ for driving downtown.  I needed that :)

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

beach? cottage? beverages?

January 2013.  I just signed up for the 3m half.  I have zero self motivation unless I have a race to train for.  Anyway.  Done.  Sold.  Join me.  I'll show you a good time.  And, it comes with a long sleeved tshirt.  Which, you know, is a bonus.

January 2013 I'm looking for a vacay destination for mi familia.  Me, Dr. Ben Black and G$.  I'd like it to involve a beach and an ocean because he's never seen one.  And I think the pictures would be cute.  What I'd like is for it to not cost a million dollars, have a charming town/city to visit, beverages, fun.

Where? What do you have for me?  In the US.  outside of the US.

GIVE IT TO ME STRAIGHT.  Seriously.  I need something.  I need something to plan for (and make excel files for, and purchase for, and save for.)

I should be ashamed of myself.

And I am.  Kind of.  But, more than that, I need you to KNOW me.  I mean, I'm reading this book about making friends and it distinctly warrants against over sharing.  This may qualify as oversharing. 

I just dropped a little bit of my mini sized individual brie on the floor of my office.  Looked around.  Then picked it up.  And ate it. 

But you know what?  I don't care.  Want to know why?  I get new running shoes and my hair cut this afternoon.  This is like one of those glory days (for me.)  I think I would pay to have a glass of wine and have someone wash my hair for an hour and come out just as happy as the hair cutting (and coloring... I didn't include that so as to sound low maintenance.)

NEW RUNNING SHOES.  NO roots!  I don't have to wash my hair tomorrow.

Low maintenance indeed.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

The herp.

Remember three years ago, wait, four?  what the what? when we were going to Italy.  Sigh.  I do.  It was amazeballs.  However, prior to our Italia trip I came down with shingles.  Ok, seriously just re-read that post and it was EXACTLY four years ago that I got this.  What the hell.  Does this mean that I'm going somewhere amazing to eat and drink and walk around and be awesome?

No.  It doesn't.  However, what I DO get to do is take some valtrex and call it a day.  Somehow four years ago it seemed a little more glamorous.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012


worst picture. ever.  He looks drunk.  He looks like me?
1 minute.

2 minutes.



He wants to walk with it.  Which is very tricky.  And may involve a broken appendage soon.  Oh well.

"helping" dada brew beer.

The set up.
A task that I think will take at least 30 mins.  turns out it's more of a 5 minute activity that I enjoyed setting up and keep playing with... because I like how it feels.  G... eh?

Ben's set up for brewing beer.  Takes about the same time to set up.  A longer "busy" period.  And beer.

I think I'm encouraging the wrong extra curricular activities?

Ma, ma, mama. mama. mommy. mamama.

My phone locked for 15 mins after this.

Ma, ma, mommy, mama, mama.  mama.  "I want a lion."

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Dreams and books and 5:15 wake ups.

On Tuesdays I run hills.  This month I think every street I run on has "mountain" in the name.  The alarm startles me every time.  The thing is.  I'd rather get up at ungodly hours than run in the evenings.  I've lost steam by then.  It's so so so hot by then.  And, like last night, Griffin told me to have a galss of wine at 5:30 and I did.  He's very persuasive. 

This morning I woke up dreaming about a girls weekend that was filled with other people who's blogs I read.  Not sure why I was dreaming about that.  Maybe because I dream write.  I dream up hilarious blogs when I'm laying in bed about to fall asleep.  I'm very funny in my head.  Then I forget.  I also "catch up" on blogs before I go to bed at night.  So I read about your families, what you did, funny things your kids say, what you are making, what you are eating, what your child ate, how your MIL pissed you off (wait, no... just me dealing with that at this point?) etc. 

Anyway, I ran across this book this morning and the description of it makes me laugh.  And think about myself.  And that I don't have time for 52 dates to find a new soul mate.  So instead I'll cyber stalk you without your knowledge.

Sounds fair, right?

Sunday, May 6, 2012

It's effing humid.

12 miles.  It was 75 at 6 AM and about 95% humidity.  Thankfully, I have a new skirt to run in.  Kick asses.

You can tell I'm the model by the lack of muffin tops.  And the thighs not touching.  

OH wait.  Not true.  I have both muffin tops and bff thighs.  Thank gawd for body glide.  I also love a running skirt.  Judge me.  It's awesome.  Has a lot of pockets and I can wear spandex without anyone seeing it.  AND NO ONE SHOULD SEE IT.

I also wore body glide to a wedding last night.  Y'all.  It's hot and humid.  A girls gotta do...

Also.  Anyone notice that when you self take a picture and have the photo "flipped" on your phone and notice your eyes are super wonky and you haven't even been drinking?  My eyes are wonky when they are reversed.  

So we had someone else take it.  Still not good.  (we are pre-weddinging at whole foods.)

bonus points. 12 miles.  Pedicure.  3 year old bday party.  Curling my hair.  Shoving 80 thousand bobbypins in my hair.  Prosecco at whole foods.  Wedding.  Driving.  Babysitter telling us "this one is on her."  attempting to read in bed.  failing.  Pretty good Saturday.

Friday, May 4, 2012


The scientific method.  You know what I remember about it?  The phrase "Queen Rocks Hard Ever Other Time."  It's how you were supposed to remember the steps.  sadly.  Last night after telling Ben that I go about things very scientifically because he suggested that I'm more of a "gut" feeling-er.  Which I am.  Kind of.  Except that I like to go through and use scenarios.  I mean, I'm not an impulse buyer.  Clearly that points to something scientific.

Also, I've been doing some scientific ovulation experiments.  Aka.  Peeing in a cup and then dipping a stick into it to test my ovulation.  (TMI?)  I found them on amazon.  (It's become a problem) and there were a million of them for $15 and delivered to my door.  No, I'm not currently having a bebe.  Just thinking about it.  And thinking about having babies literally sends my mind into overdrive of scientificness--aka, when is the perfect time and what would make that child's bday and I don't want it to be in summer, or at christmas, or in january or really february and I want to keep working out, and what if I get sick this time and it isn't glorious, can I go on vacation before this happens, what if I can't have drinks?  is it still vacation?  can I really manage with 2?  does your heart ACTUALLY magically grow?  where will we put the stuff?  can G sleep in a crib forever?  the list goes on.  You adequately believe I'm crazy, right?

Anyway, so I remind Ben of this experiment last night after this discussion and he's all "Oh yah.. How is that going?" 

I'm all... "well... I do it when I get home from work and then by the time the 5 minutes time frame is up I've already forgotten about it and don't check for a few hours so..... inconclusive." 

He laughed.  Shook his head.  Said, "you're pretty.  You're like a smart Penny."  (from big bang theory.  which we had just watched.  and maybe I referenced his similarities to Sheldon.)

Thursday, May 3, 2012

signing time.

SO when I get home in the afternoons, for the one hour my child naps, I sit down and eat lunch and catch up on tv.  Problem is that when I turn it on it's still on PBS from G$ watching the 'Street in the mornings.  And this lady is on.

Am I a bad person that everything about her annoys me?  I cannot change the channel fast enough.   I think she probably dresses her babies in pleated kacki's and woven vests and really white tennis shoes. (#occupyhell).  I don't know how to use the #, but I know the cool kids are doing it.  This is just me telling you that I'll be occupying hell (that I don't believe in.)

I feel about her the way I feel about the parent who makes ornate animals out of their kids lunchbox food.  I won't lie I cut G's sammy into shapes the other day and he ate the whole effing thing and asked for more, but in general I do not create scenes with his food.

And in other scenes of food--the devil dog ate a night time diaper today.  On the couch.

I'm selling her.  Actually, I'll trade you the dog for a new couch.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

subscribe and save?

Yes please.  I haven't decided if amazon is the 2nd coming or the devil.  I mostly lean towards the holy nature of all things amazon. 

I just joined (I realize I'm behind) the subscribe and save nation of diaper buying.  And wipes.  And I'm considering toilet paper.  and paper towels.  and dog food.  (and shampoo, and other presents for myself.)  Mostly though... I'm thinking about those effing large packages that don't fit in a cart very well and make shopping with a toddler difficult.  I mean, maybe your child doesn't say "juice juice juice" when he walks into target because you give it to him with cookies so that you can casually peruse the clothing and everything else that is heavenly at target.  Maybe your child calmly sits in his seat.  Maybe your child, if you trust him and put him down, doesn't run full speed in every direction.

You probably drink less wine than me. 

I wonder if they auto-delivery that...

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Wet hair.

G$ likes when I have wet hair.  He plays with it.  I like having my hair played with so maybe I should use it as an incentive to shower more often?   Doubtful.

Yesterday morning, pre-shower, G kept touching my hair and saying "wet hair mama."

I finally had to give in and tell him it was just grease.

I'm plagued by white girl hair.  My Iranian friend, who often refers to herself as "white" last night when I told her this said, "Girl, I can go for four days without a problem.  You white girls must start counting down the hours."

You have no idear.  Anyone else plagued by this?  I desire a diana ross afro.  Always have.  Always will.