Friday, September 14, 2012

Maybe I'm too cynical? or too add?

for natural childbirth?  I’m interested.  I’m interested in it to an extent.  That extent might mean that I’m only in labor for under 5 hours.  I think 5 hours might be the point where I say screw it.  I’m a lady of standards.  However, my sister (the one who just miracle birthed my nephew in like 2.5 seconds,) lent me her “hypnobirthing” book.  I have another “friend” on fb who I’ve seen is a hypnobirth coach.  So, I’m interested.  However, I began to read this book and wonder if this person had ever actually birthed a human being before? 

Glammy, miracle fast baby Kellen, and G$ giving him a kiss
She has all of these words to replace the typical words.  Like “birth breathing” instead of pushing.  “Uterine waves” instead of contractions.  I am to close my eyes when having one of these waves so that my partner knows that I’m experiencing it (as I visualize a rosebud opening) and my partner is to stroke my arm while repeating some phrases on a card that you need to buy extra because the phrases aren’t printed in this book… just a supplement.  (Please note there is also a supplement that has the words “rainbow reading” or some other sort of nonsense in the title.)  So I told Ben this and had him stroke my arm.  I didn’t feel relaxed at all.  Then I thought back to my previous experience of my baby ripping himself from my insides (the pain coming from my lack of knowledge, obvi… and from my own birth story) and my eyes were indeed closed during those “waves” of uncomfortableness.  They weren’t closed when Ben calmly asked me while I was writhing in pain on the bed, “Do you think you’re having contractions?”

The face of drugs.  Look how tired I am already?

What he SHOULD have said is, “I see from your eyes being closed and your visioning that you are experiencing a uterine wave.  I will stroke your arm while this happens.  I’m sure this isn’t painful because you have knowledge.  Also because you are envisioning your rose bud opening.”

I have a list of a few other books from a friend that I’m going to read.  I’m beginning to believe that I may be too cynical for natural childbirth.  Unless I switch from an epidural to a hallucinogenic.. which could present a whole other set of issues… and I’ve become partial to epidurals. 

Post marathon endorphins.  I may look happier with the drugs?  

So tell me what you know.  Enlighten me.


Cate said...

I know this - I went to 10cm basically without pain relief, and if by "wave" she means "tsunami-like pounding complete with sea gravel and jellyfish", then yes, I can agree with her illustration. As for a rosebud opening, the only flora that came into view were the lovely bruises on Bill's hands from where I squeezed them during contractions.
This woman has a)never been in labor, b)has been so medicated since that she doesn't remember it, or c)is plain crazy. I know some women have very different experiences of childbirth than I did (some have orgasms, if I'm to believe what I read), but I think I'm probably in the majority. Labor f'ing hurts, no matter how enlightened you are! Call a spade a spade. Trying to pretty it up like a diamond only works until about 4 cm, I think.

Leanne said...

I don't know a whole lot, but I did have a natural birth with Wesley. The book Natural Hospital Birth (or something like that) was by far the most helpful thing that I read. It was much more real than the hypnobirthing stuff I read. Jarrod and I took Bradley classes, which were moderately helpful. We also had classes with our midwife every 2 weeks. Basically we were over-educated, which for me was fantastic. In the end, though, I was in active labor for 6 hours total and didn't really need any of the crap I learned. I'm with you - bradley method teaches relaxation and I hated all of them that had to do with touching. Leave me alone and let me do my thing. I did appreciate the information though because it helped me prepare. In the end, I only survived without drugs because it happened so freaking fast. :-)

A.B. said...

OH Cate, thank you :) We can discuss further in a few weeks. I'll try to glean some more information by then.

leanne, thanks for the book suggestion! I'll definitely peruse the amazons or the half priced books for it. I'm a knowledge whore to an extent.

YAY for fast!

Shaina said...

Or you can do it my way (not by choice) and sign on the dotted line for surgery like I did yesterday at pre-registration. They even gave me a break down of the schedule for the minimum 48 hours I will be there. Of course they make it all sound so easy like its a mini vacay...with a crying newborn, latched on to your boob...

A.B. said...

Hmm. I will hope for you that it greatly resembles vacay. I did eat a lot of waffles at the hospital. Does that count?

Heidi Bruch said...

I had a vbac with c and so I tried to go for as long s possible without drugs to avoid a repeat c-section. I got to 7cm and asked for an epidural. This was after three days of laboring. I wasnt going for natural childbirth, but having gotten that far without drugs and looking back.....I feel like if I would have prepared for it (which I think is a necessity-you can't just wing it and say you will see how it goes) and my labor would have been less than three days, I could have done it. It's the runner in me. Your a marathoner. You could do it. I have honestly thought about it if we have a third. Sort of the competitor in me.

A.B. said...

3 days? I knew you were a miracle woman before this, but I now know for sure. You know me well though... it is all about a competition with myself.

I DID have a dream last night that you were pregnant soooooooooooooooooo here's your chance!

Courtneytcu98 said...

I liked the Natural Hospital Birthing book, too. The Hypnobirthing book was way less helpful than the Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and the Hypnobabies relaxation tracks on my phone. And really, it was only the transition period that was hellish to me. The other stuff was painful but bearable. Transition effing hurt.