Monday, January 30, 2012

New years reso's

Ps.  every year I am for working out.  This year I decided to..........

wait for it.

wait for it.

Floss my teeth.  Yah.  You may do this.  I wasn't a regular.  Now I'm flossing like I drink wine.  On regular occurrence and with vigilance.

2012 is off to a good start.

Minus the "mine" phase.  How do I ignore this?  What did you do?

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Slightly obsessed. For Meg.

I'm slightly obsessed with Ben cutting his hair.  He claims he doesn't because he is counter acting the cost of getting my hair done.  Whatevs.

Perhaps he is also describes him?  "Unkempt, out of control and slightly retarded."  Thanks Meg for that quote.

Monday, January 23, 2012

18 months, or "I can wine* and say mine and be sweet. all in 5 minutes."

Sleeping.  first day of 18 months.
You are simply scrumptious.  Adorable.  I missed it because I checked the monitor and you had "lambie's" surrounded around you and "bummy."  Oh how I love how you save bummy.  And lambie is more like "neenie."  Which is the same as Maggie.  You like to say "I driming" meaning that you want to "drive" one of our cars.  You really love the 'ol broad (the volvo.)  You wake up saying "mama."  You had a manic day at Target yesterday which made me so incredibly thankful that dada was home.  Are you going to eat what I cook you?  sometimes.  You would eat "dodurt" for any meal.  Any time I call someone you think it's Glammy.  You would brush your teeth (aka suck toothpatse off of the toothbrush) all hours of the day.  You love your bath.  You now refuse to sit in your wagon or stroller and we had the longest walk of all times yesterday.  For 2 blocks.  it took for-ever.  It's adorable.  You still love to slide.  dodurt.  Have I mentioned dodurt?  I've rocked you to sleep multiple times lately because it's so sweet.  You really love to cuddle then.

Drinking sparking water.  Feeling the "bubbles" with your finger.
 You've started watching and LIKING tv.  Am I a bad mama for liking that?  Today you snuggled while we watched 2 episodes of Olivia (which you still just sing "ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh" over and over to say you want to watch it.)  You also LOVE when they sing goodnight olivia and today gave me the remote to rewind and said "more.  more."
 Pretending to eat the couscous and butternut squash I made.  It was delish.

THIS is a sweet face.  Seriously.  So sweet.

And, I'm not a clever tshirt lover.  But with boys, they abound.  This is a where's waldo that says, "Dude, I'm right here."  I laughed outloud at target (mecca).  This also made me know that I'm a lame ass boy-mom.  Yah, I'm aware.  No need to leave a comment.   

The obsession with bubbles reins supreme.

I love him.  A lot.  He exhausts me.  I couldn't change it.  How the hell he got this old, I don't know?  But it's stopping now. 
**I.  Meaning Mama can "wine" and G can "whine."  Yes, I see the misspelling.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

YAY, Dada's home (dada... not gizmo. Though he's home, too.)

He's home.  He's home.  Sanity is somewhat restored.  (really, how can I be sane again.  Lets be honest.)  G$ greeted dad with a beer.  A Shiner so he would remember what being Texan means.  Then he helped him in with his bags.

Things are good.  And someone made me dinner tonight.  Yesssssssssssssss.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Donut saturday.

I think it's a new thing.  G had his first donut today.  That I gave him while his waffle was heating up for lunch.  Oh yah.  I did that.

We also went to story time at the library today.  I put G in the car and turned on a dvd of elmo while I tried to find his shoes and get some snacks together.  While the car was running.  I was inside.

I couldn't find his shoes so I grabbed the too small pair of puma's and figured I'd just shove them on his feet before we got out of the car.  Only to find that I had grabbed two mismatched pairs--one of which he wore approximately 14 months ago.

sigh.  My brain is currently disabled.

Friday, January 20, 2012

You auto-complete me.

Because I'm home alone and have reached the end of, and purchased, many items on the internet (seriosuly, Ben, come home... I'm a wasteland of internet shopping) I typed in "How to grow b..." (typing blog) and the google game came up with "How to grow black hair."  Really google, really?

PS.  The you auto complete me game is when you start typing in a sentence and see what it pops up to autocomplete your sentence.

The art of linguistics.

Subtleties, really.

Give me drugs.

An epidural.  You have your whatever drug you want.  I kind of want an epidural.  I think it's my drug of choice (other than wine.  And roman coke.  Because y'all, alcohol is a DRUG...of choice.  If I'm not getting an epidural.)

Ben has been in Detroit this week.  It's apparently a crazy blizzard.  He's stuck there.  Efffffffffffffffffff.  You know why this saddens me?  Because my child acted like this today.  Yah, screaming.  Crying.  Miiiiiiiiinnnneeeeeeeee.  Because I wouldn't let him hold the effing bubbles.  But the way he says bubbles sure is cute.  I also wouldn't let him run in the street after I figured our neighbors were hating us as I pulled him down to the the mail in the wagon and he was SCREAMING "MAMAMAMAMA.  Dowwwwwwnnnn."  So I let him down.  and talked to our neighb's with a baby.  When G took off into the street.  And had a major melt down when I told him he couldn't run in the street.  I'm sure he'll have some sort of therapy about this.  Then I saw that Gizmo had gotten out.  Surely Maggie had run away.  Which actually didn't happen.  This is by no means the entire meltdown.  Don't let him fool you with sweetness.  It didn't continue.

But then there was this.  That also happened today.  He learned to play the harmonica!  It's kind of one of those things that your kid learns and you are so excited for them because they are SO proud of themselves and then you also know that if you were trapped in a small space and it happened non stop you'd want to punch them in the neck?  I think that's probably also how snapping will be.  Note to self.  Don't teach Griffin to snap.  Warning.  You may want to turn the volume down because my obnoxious mom voice is super loud.

He's so excited he couldn't not jump.

Then when I was putting him to bed early.  I was rocking him and put my hand on the other side of his face.  I went to move it and he put it back and said "more."  I melted a little.  And forgot how miserable he was being earlier.  And I wanted to stay.

And I still would like for Ben to come home tomorrow.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

abundant sunshine. It's what they call me.

Well, dinner, breakfast, and lunch.. and probably a snack after my nachos.  Ben is out of town so I've been eating a lot of cereal.  Specifically, this one box.  And I love it.  And I'm still hungry.  And I still haven't decided if white or red wine is the best accompaniment.  G$ has lots of homemade meals.  Y'all, he lives a pretty good life. Maybe a good life without new shoes, but a good life nonetheless.

We also had this as our weather today.  Abundant Sunshine.

 Warm.  It's January 19.  Dude. I'm supposed to get to wear jackets.  I love jackets.  And sweaters.  And other cold weather accessories.  And the sight of snow.  I get basically none of these.  So maybe they don't call me abundant sunshine.  Maybe it's sunshine with a side of bitter and sassy?  Other wise known as sarcasm.

I told Ben a story about griffin the other day and it involved the fact that our 18 month old doesn't yet get that.  He said, "welllllllll I suppose he'll learn pretty quickly or not get you at all."  Here's hopin'.  Here's hopin.  Other ways he can get me...
1.  I like q tips with the plastic middle part.  I find the cotton to not fall apart on the ends.  That feeling/sound makes me ick out.
2.  I'm not good at resolutions.  3 days ago I resolved to floss daily.  I've already failed.
3.  I like a cold beverage.  Unless it's water--then plain.  Or red wine... but I do prefer that chilled.
4.  I desire curly hair.
5.  I can't fold a fitted sheet.  Sorry Martha.
6.  I like to steam mop.
7.  I dislike cleaning bathrooms.
8.  My sister liked to sleep in her closet.  This, in fact, has nothing to do with me, but randomly came to mind.
9.  I don't deal well with girl dramas.
10.  I think cereal is a perfectly fine meal.  For me.  Not for him.  Double standards are a bitch.
11.  No one calls me "abundant sunshine."

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Mom fail.

So g is growing.  Obvs.  And he needs new shoes.  Why the hell are toddler shoes so expensive?  Seriously?  And the ones I like are well... not cheap.  Anywho so I found ones I REALLY liked and they were on sale and the last pair was in Griffin's size!  Ordered.  Along with some boots (para mi.)  I've been stalking their delivery.  Today is the day that the post person loudly knocked on my door even though it says BABY SLEEPING and when people knock loudly it makes our dogs to apeshiz crazy.  Oh, I believe I got side tracked.

Anyway, open the box all excitedly.  Wow, that box for his shoes sure is big.  That's weird.  So I open them.  Realize I'm dumb.  And......... they fit me.  Damn you children's shoe sizing--especially in european sizes.

One of these days I'm going to get this mom thing down.  Maybe?  Someday?  Right?  Until that day I'm going to have a mini glass of wine at 1:45 on a Wednesday.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Things that happened in my life today--get excited.

I had some facial waxing done today (hello, dark haired ladies (and men)--you feel me?) and I was talking with Chen.  Usually, I understand her just fine.  today not so much.  We were talking and then all of a sudden she was laughing at the difference between a cow boy and a cowboy... and how one is a boy that is in charge of the cows.  I don't know how we got there because I had been politely laughing and agreeing with a lot of things. Y'all this is like a relaxing event for me because I get to lay in a comfy bed thing with my eyes closed.  So--cow boy.  cowboy.  there you have it, but I'm moo-stash-eo free now.

G$ was snacking while I was making dinner (homemade chicken pot pie--which he loved--I made up the recipe, but let me tell you, it involves crescent rolls.  done.)  Maggie walks into the kitchen and vomits on the floor.

Griffin asked for a "didder" (sticker) and so I gave him one.  cooked.  looked down and he was chewing.  Um, Griffin did you just eat your sticker?  Answer, "yah."  I'm an awesome mom.

G had scarfed down dinner.  Been really sweet.  Learned how to giggle my thighs while I'm standing (he finds this to be hilarious...which makes me laugh.  My thighs have been best friends all of these years for THIS moment).  We go up to take a bath and he sits on the potty before bath time and so I take his diaper off only to put my hand in shit.  Literal shit.  When did he shit himself?  How did I not notice?

Momhood is gross, my friends.  Grosser when your husband is out of town apparently.
Those dimples are from me.

Monday, January 16, 2012


Remember how I'm an amazing mom that only gives her kids organic food and says things like, "no you can't have yogurt, but you can have some gummies (annies, obvs)" yah... me either.  Except I said that the other day.  Then I felt dumb.

Anyway.  today we had a smoothie.  G$ loved his mooomy.  Because that's what he called it.  And asked for more.  And didn't really eat dinner.  Parent fail?  Maybs.  Whatever.  He had spinach.  And napped for 2.5 hours after our children's museum adventure today (another post for another time.)  And he calls Gizmo, "dada." Who leaves tomorrow. And I get reacquainted with single momhood... unless "dada" learns to get go go gadget arms, opposable thumbs and change a diaper.  Which--I'm totes holding out hope for.....................

And if I've learned ANYTHING from Tyra, it's that G is totally smizing in that picture above.  Yah, the one who I can't get to turn the right way.  That one.  Take it.

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

It's what's for dinner.

Not beef.  Though I'm not against it; I am a Texan after all.  Though, any time I actually think about meat--I wouldn't eat it.  Which is a sign, I know.  but I do like it.  So in my pretend hippy, organic buying, lara bar child eating, farmers markety ways... I made all of G's baby food.  I loved it.  I like cooking.  However, once he started eating "solids" it seemed way harder to me.  How can I get him to eat kale now?  It's hard to chew.  Then I fall into a super rut of mac n cheese (annie's duh), edamame, green peas, broccoli, chicken (hate), pbj, etc etc boring plain food that is often frozen and cooked up as fresh.

I found this website with this lady who is way more creative than me, reminded me I can cook, and she took pics of her kids meals.  I was INSPI(red).  Take that GAP.  Though I think they already make that one.  this post does in no way benefit the AIDS foundation... though I wish it did.  Please feel free to donate.

G$ LOVES a dipping sauce.  Which I never give him (ps.  ketchup makes me vommy.  So does mayo.)  I give him yogurt which he uses as a dipping sauce.  Anywho, so today I bought some raw flour tortillas (yum.) cooked it up, made a quesadilla with black beans, corn, cheese, guacamole (dipping sauce), cooked carrots (which he hates--he IS mine), and blueberries.  He ate it alllllllllllllllllll.  except the carrots which he kindly used as a spoon for the guac and then put back on his tray.  He also kept saying "wiiiiiinnneeeee" because that's what I had for his dinner.

All of this to say, we now have ice so I can reintroduce my roman cokes into my life which makes me a better mom.  Wait, no, this was about my cooking for the G-man.

Oops.  Sorry Shaina, better luck next time.

Monday, January 9, 2012

Everybody jump jump jump

G loves to jump.  He will jump and jump and jump until I try to capture it.  Seriously.  Every.  Single.  Time.

The arms crossed maneuver.

The I'm ignoring you and watching Oleeya Or "Ahhhhhhh" sung in a high pitched cutest ever voice.  I will also try to capture.  And yes, that IS a sheet on my couch.  Because I hate dog hair.  More than anything (other than running out of wine.)  Though Maggie isn't allowed on the couch... she sleeps on it all night.  I just need me some plastic wrap.  Or an alarm.

And finally, after 5 minutes maybe 30 seconds of "jumping" we pull out the phone to get it.  First, a "no."  Jumping.  Then off.

And not at all related... but when I was having my big night (for work) in a hotel the other day (and the interwebs were down--THE NERVE) I got this video of "Mama, Mardu?"  (Where are you?)  I love it.  Love.  Watch it over and over.  Don't judge his refuse of utensils.  he's going through a "thing."  He "thing" also often includes chewing things up and then handing them to me.  He's sweet.

Friday, January 6, 2012

one bazillion hours of comp time.

I have it this week.  And get more next week.  Because I have zero time to do anything.  So today I took off to get my  hair cut and colored.  Y'all I've been growing these locks out.  And it's working.  Ry-ry cut quite a bit off today, and colored it, and it's super cute (and basically the same as it was before, sans gray, shorter, better styled etc.)  Ben had to pick G up from daycare and so I came home to a sleeping baby and Ben said, "Wow!  I really like your hair."

I said... "You should..."

Ben..."I don't want to ask...

"Good.  Happy Anniversary.  SMILESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"."

I seemed to have misplaced the fact that long hair costs more than short hair.  Or something like that.  I blame my mom and her early grays.

It's our 7th anniversary this weekend.  Dr.B.B. sent off a HUGE project today and his friend asked him what it felt like and he said, "whiskey."  So I had to give him his gift early.  These Lenox whiskey glasses.  Love.  Because what's mine is mine and what's yours is mine.
And check out this guy.  Mr. Handsome (to which he answers.)  This is his "cheeeeeeeeese" face.  what a ham.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Remember this guy? The original G?

Gangsta, that is.  this post is not for the weak of heart (or fear of anal glands.)  This is my furbaby.  (total cheeseball term that represents my love for this smushed face, snoring, furry fool.)  Gizmo became mine when I stalked him on the interwebs and went in found him in podunk Georgia my first WEEK of grad school.  Ben was in town (his senior year of college) and stayed at my apartment to study.  I brought home this mess.  The one who we came home from going to dinner to find on the dining room table like, "What up bitches? I own this place."  And he did.  Forever.  So he became the dog that people loved to hate, that we loved, and had the highest pitch yelp you've ever heard.  Ever.

Could you turn this face in?  He was turned in TWICE to this rescue place.  TWICE.  And the lady I got him from liked to "threaten" me with coming to visit and taking him back (um, hello crazy) and insisted on calling my parents to make sure I could have him (I was 23.)

Little did she know that this dog would go into doggy ICU (for two weeks) and have a blood transfusion and I didn't miss a visiting hour.  Oh yes.  I said visiting hour.  He also stole my first trip to Italy.  He also made me lose 10 lbs in like 8 days, just sayin, that was maybe a blessing?

He's sweet (to me.)  Griffin LOVES him (feelings not returned.)  He bites Ben on a daily basis (when pulling him out from under the bed to go outside.)  He can sleep until noon (Ben's dream.)  And would love to be walked in a stroller.  Which we have yet to do.  yet.

He was sickers again the other night when I had to stay at a hotel by myself without a baby monitor and it included some anal leakage.  The same kind you get if you eat too many Lays WOW chips.  He had a ruptured anal glad that they had to put him under to clean out.  So while they cleaned out our wazoo's as well they also removed all but 6 of his teeth.  enough to keep his tongue mostly in.  Except in the picture above.  WHere it's out.  And adorable.  And I continue to call him "puppy."

He feels better.  I made him dog food.  I mean, it's no blood transfusion, but it is boiled meat.

Gizmo.  Love to hate him.

Remember when I used to be witty?

Yah, I don't really either... except when I go back and read things and think, ahhhhhhhhhhhh you must have gotten more sleep then, or less sleep and was more punchy.

Remember when Scott Wolf was on Party of 5 and wasn't a creeper who blew up a house on NCIS?  Hotty hotterpants Bailey.  An option for G$'s name was Bailey.  Granted, G$ was my original name.  I wasn't clear of what Griffin's gangsta name would be until he was born.  I think you have to check out the grill before you can solidify the name.  Granted, he did not have teeth when born (THANK GAWD) so we had to wait it out.

So here is to more sleep, funnier posts, more punches.  Bring it 2012.  Bring.  it.  And maybe weight loss.  And more leg shaving.  More dusting.  More crib sheet changing.  More frugalness.  Better eating.  Better correspondance.  Better recycling.  Better wine?  More snuggles.  Less annoyances.  Cleaner bathrooms.  Smaller jeans.  LOTS more running.  Less sensible shoes.  And a 7th anniversary (on Sunday)

Whatchu got goin' on?

Product love.

I like products.  I go in phases of needing them.  Simplifying.  Moving on.  I went through a phase of using a dove beauty bar (for the last year or more?) as my primary face wash.  I read somewhere that it's simple.  It's best.  You're great.  It was.  I like it ok.  I'm now focused on my "fine lines."  I also wear a lot of mascara sometimes so that my lashes are long and luxurious (and occasionally itchy, and crusty.)  So when I went to sephora the other day for my new head for my clarisonic mia (which I totally endorse, bt dubs--PS.  I have not been paid for this advertisement.  It's off my own accord.  So if you want to pay me, I'll tell you what you want to hear.) I checked out the sample section at the checkout.  my downfall.  I bought this because I'd read about it and I LOVE it.  It takes a little amount and totally takes off makeup, mascara, and leaves your skin soft and not dry.  It doesn't smell amazeballs, but it doesn't smell like balls either.  Selling point?

Next to add to my list?  Great reviews.  I am hoping it is the magic eraser to my lines.  Or maybs I'll just use the magic eraser.  Y'all, have you tried it?  It's filled with unicorns and butter and other amazing things.  I need this for my face.  I've also been working like a mad woman and am taking comp time tomorrow to get my hura did.  Good bye ratty hair and gray, hello paid for blondes and smooth ends.  Until I move that bus and jack my hair up with the curling iron.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

I want these boots.

bad.  Need.  Want.  Desire.

In black.  I keep them open on my computer in case someone wants to buy them for me.



G$ is sickers.  Thankfully he slept last night ALL NIGHT... the night before, not so much.  I did try to coerce him into sleeping with me which he thought was funny and wanted to play.  It was unreasonable.  He also has projectile snot.  too much?  Maybe.  It's gross.  He's gone multiple places with real bad crusty nose.  White trash.

We went to the farmers market.  Road the train at the mall.  Went to a local cheese shop.  Played football in the front yard (like any good Texan should do.)  Had amazing wine.  Had smores with nutella.  Met our neighbors.  Watched some fireworks in our front yard (while we were roasting our marshmellows over a turkey fryer... in our yard.)  Awesome town.

My most voluminous hair of 2011.

Or ever, really.  Except in 10th grade when I got fatties and had a perm.  An unfortunate year, for sure.  I'm in love with my new (third) curling iron.  Love.  Seriously.  I'm going to do it again tomorrow (because I didn't shower today.  It's the way my 2012 started. Whatevs.)  Anywho.  I was kind of in love.  It's a mess.

VOLUME.  I had volume!