Monday, October 20, 2008

OH, so you think YOU have it bad...

SO, I don't really like Mondays. I suppose if Monday were Tuesday I wouldn't particularly love it either. Neither here nor there. Mondays typically consist of a longerish run for me (which means getting up early... again) and then a poor hair choice of putting my quite short hair into a pony tail. Anywho, my long run was on Sunday this week so I showered yesterday afternoon and couldn't make myself get up this morning to do it again (this postpones my longer-ish run to tomorrow or wed.) I just feel like I can't get enough rest. Anyway, so I'm a bit sore after my 18 mile trek yesterday. Mondays also consist of our volunteering for the college men's and women's bible studies at UT... you know, the one in which I don't get home until 11 PM and I'm an old woman and so I typically go to bed at 10 pm? Today is just a long day in general. I'd love to share this with others, perhaps even people at work, but that's impossible. I mean, not completely impossible, but here's the deal...

a. This one woman I work with apparently has a miserable life that consists of 18 after school activities that never let her be at home or do anything enjoyable ever. She is one of those no-nonsense funny people who also has a very grumpy side. Anyway, if you say anything about having a long day or something there is ALWAYS a response... or is it a competition? I'm not sure. But it involves something about how she didn't get home until even later than you (which I don't buy) and then she had to help with homework (her kids are old enough to do it themselves high school and 8th grade), and something for her husband (who is apparently unable to do anything around the house on his own.) So, clearly, her life is worse than yours (not that I'm attempting to say my life is AT ALL bad... this is just the turn of the competition.)

B. my admin asst... bless her heart, is the nicest woman. She's so sweet and constantly asks about my running and is always followed by the same response. This week, again mentioned running 18 miles on SUNDAY (so I haven't had a day of recovery.) She asked if I'm sore. I say, "yes." She says... wow, and that was only 18...Imagine that you have to run 26! Can I mention that I'm terrified of this? I'm already afraid that I won't be able to complete this distance. I mean, that's 8 more miles than I ran yesterday. SCARY. I don't want to walk. I have a POSSIBLY attainable goal in finishing in 4 hours and 15 minutes (though more likely between 4 hours and 20-30 minutes.) Ug. stop your mindless chatter.

C. Someone asked if I was going to keep going even though my legs hurt. She just assumed I'd stop. No. This will have been 6 months of effort. I'm not quitting now.

D. The people who say, "wow. I can't even run a mile." You can (most of you... agreed, not everyone.) You can push yourself and that's what this is about for me. No, I'm not a runner. I'll never be a runner, I'm simply someone who runs. I'm not the person who can not run for 6 months and then just go run 8 miles (like my hubs... though he is now running, and can kick my arse. I attribute this to his gazelle legs compared to mine.... clearly not the fact that he ran CC in college.) This is hard, but I am able. I am running for an amazing cause that has many personal reasons tied to it. Few of them know "why" I'm choosing to do this, and they haven't asked.. Which would be my first question when someone says they are going to do something crazy.

Anywhos, Mondays. I look forward to a weekend in which I have nothing planned (including a weekend without running), and no volunteer work on Monday nights. I know... that's terrible for me to say, but honest.

Cheers to the pool being open, though.. and heated.

In random other news... my mom has mentioned by birthday now 3 times and has consistently been wrong on the day (not necessarily the date). Awesome. Perhaps her decrepit old age of 31 years older than me is playing tricks on her mind.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Oh the events

Oh the events of my life. I'm quite important so important that I must post about things like finally getting new running shoes. I'm very excited about this whole event. I know, they're a little blingy, but hey... it's not about fashion (I desperately wanted him to bring out the very attractive purple ones, but alas.. my foot type apparently requires semi-hideous running shoes.) Who knew. I'm sure that these will enhance my running and make me very fast... or at least you can be distracted by the shiny-ness of them and then forget what you are looking at and in a flash I'm gone. This was yesterday.

This weekend was the long awaited hs reunion. Well, not that long awaited because we didn't plan enough in advance for a lot of people to come. It was fun, though. it was a small crowd, which eliminated cliques. Everyone looks the same, but older, and with more drinks in hand. I think this is a requirement--even people who may not drink regurally are required to have a t least a few drinks at the reunion. We all went out afterwards and had a merry (drunken) ole' time. This left me to recoup the next morning over fried catfish with the fams for lunch. It was a whirl wind weekend filled with lots of eating and running around. I'm pretty sure I gained mucho lbs this w/e because of all of the eating and lack of working out. Only ONE month until my race though! I can't wait for it to be here.

Ok, I should go back to work... you should also be happy for my new shoes.

Friday, October 10, 2008

chickpeas, dungarees, serendipidies...

Randoms. I am all jittery and excited about my efficient morning. SO, I'm out of town this weekend--the looming HS reunion has finally arrived. Therefore, I'm missing my group work out, and lets be honest, it just wouldn't get home with all of these fun activities we have planned... (and partly due to my laziness.) So, I needed to get my long run in yesterday. I came home and attempted to do my 10 miles, but my leg super hurt so I stopped at 3.5. Lamesness. Instead of that I cleaned and did laundry and gave Giz a bath and cooked dinner and started packing. (I have a problem leaving the house to go out of town when things are a mess... this is in part due to the fact that when I come back from being out of town I'm not so great at unpacking so it just adds to the mess if there is one already there.) I went to bed, set my alarm for 5 AM and hoped it wouldn't go off. It did. So I got up and got moving and did my 10 miles before the sun came up which is really nice. I was able to fold 2 loads of laundry and dry one, clean the bathroom, finish cleaning, finish packing, shower and get dressed and eat breakfast all before work! I think my caffienated gu is kicking me in the pants and making my brain move about 90 to nothin'

Later today the hubs the dogs and I head to Ft. Worth (along with like 80,000 of our fave UT fans headed to dallas for Texas OU weekend.) This travel ought to be ridiculous and copper filled. (just laughed at myself, because it sounds like copper field. yes, I realize that isn't funny.) Hopefully we will make it out of town in time to not be in the biggest part of traffic, fingers crossed. Tonight I'm going to venture to the NW Texan football stadium. It's massive and huge and so not where I cheered. It should be interesting to see it and to be back in the high school football culture. Oh yes, it's a culture--a culture filled with frito pie, big lights, lots of boys in very clean nickers who don't actually get to play, kids running around under the stadium, the band playing duh dun dun dunnas, and of course, the EMT who sits on the corner of the field in the case that there is an accident. Maybe I'll join in the fightsong. If only I still had my pom pons...
Tomorrow, I beleive we'll head to Justin (yes, my high school is in Justin, TX... where justin boots are made) and go to the outlet. I'm pretty sure I need boots. Then to Joe T's. I drool now. I will consume 1.5 margaritas and have a fajita salad and then go to the most awkward event ever. I believe this. I mean, 10 years... that means that people come back hoping to impress, hoping to have made something of themselves, hoping to have either outgrown who they were or to hold onto who they were. It's a tension that I believe will be semi-alleviated with a few adult beverages. Somehow, I think at 20 years, we're just happy to have a night out, catch up with other old people, and go home. Much less tension--except, I'm sure we'll "recall" the time 10 years prior when x person got so trashed and bla bla bla. Interesting predicament. It should be fun to see how it all plays out.
Anyway, I need to do some works. I'm so happy that it's Friday.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

How things work

Umm.. I don't understand a lot of things...
multi-vitamins-whoa. How do you get all of those things in one pill? So confusing.
the dishwasher--where do those food elements go?
car batteries--why are they so heavy?
double bubble--not tasty. why do I crave it?
games--who decided that football was a game with all of these rules? how did that start?
hippos--you're cute, but what is your purpose?
running marathons--yes, I'm doing this, but I don't understand how it works--there may be death at the end.
iron supplements--you scare me, but I will take you.
bumper sticker madness--why do you need 18 stickers on your car?
powdered--eggs, milk, etc. How did you become in powder form? Were you frozen and then tapped with a hammer and you turned into dust? ashes to ashes?
gas prices--I don't understand how you can have 9/10's of a penny
fractions--I don't get them, unless in pie form
good vs bad credit.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

broke and broke down.

SO, I got up at 5:23 this morning so as to make it to track practice by 6. I'm up, unhappy about it, and tired--go out to the car, turn it... oh... not on. What? Why the heck won't my car start? Who knows. SO, I go back in and think, well I could just run here. But at this point it is only 5:45.. so I get done running and then what would I do? Wait for a couple of more hours until Ben gets up? So, I went out and proceeded to take Ben's car... Well, not that easy. Ifirst had to get the doors on it, put on a long sleeved jacket, get an ear muffler, and some gloves (it was cold this morning.) I make it. Yay. I come home and call BMW and no, that isn't under warranty. SUCK. Ben was able to start it by jumping it, but now i have to just sit and let it run with no guarantee that it will restart later. I'm considering takign this day as a loss (at work that is.) Just taking the day off and actually doing things around my house like... laundry and cleaning. We're going out of town this weekend and I hate coming back to a messy house. That, and I've been exhausted lately. I can't seem to find enough time to do all of the things I need to do. I am going to bed early enough and everything--I think part of it is mental. I've been training for 5 months, and I'm tired. I started taking a multi vitamin a couple of weeks ago and today I'm going to add a b complex vitamin (I'm low in B12 and was having shots for a while, but then got tired of going to the doc for it so I quit...oops) and an iron suppliment. Apparently people who are low in b vitamins have a hard time keeping thier iron (something more technical, but I don't recall the actual words.) This will supposedly help give me energy. We'll see.

So here I sit... worrying that my car is running in the garage. I'm afraid that it is going to explode or someone is going to steal it. Scary. So I'm watching Ellen to distract myself. Harry Connick Jr is supposedly on this week. I love him. I think he's a pretty man... and he was on Will and Grace so I think that makes him cuter.

Anywho... fingers crossed that I don't need a new battery in my car because apparently that isn't covered. Jerks.

UPdate... so my lovely husbandola came home and jumped my car again. I drove it to work and hopefully this will revive the battery? Keep your fingers crossed. I figured missing 3 hours is probably better than missing an ENTIRE day. I would prefer to save those for days when I don't have to wake up at 5:23 am.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Mythical Creatures.

So, I was reading my latest Health magazine yesterday. Sophia Bush, of One Tree Hill, is featured because she is apparently super healthy. Well, she counts herself, and the magazine apparently lets her count herself as "curvy" at a size 2. Apologies to all of you mythical people who are a size 2 (not sure I think this size exists in a natural environment), but you are not, nor will you ever be, curvy. You can be healthy and be a size 2. This can be "your size". You are just one of those teeny tiny people in the world--but you are not curvy. I guess what frustrates me is that we have these ideas of what is ideal and it's apparently "ideal" for everyone--even though it's not RIGHT for everyone (hint owning a house, 2.5 children, hetero relationships... how do you have 2.5 children anyway?) I'm all for living healthy--watching what you eat (I simply watch my frozen yogurt intake go up by the week), working out etc. I'm ALL for this, but I am also for a healthy body image, not a distorted one. I think it's hard for us to see ourselves the way others see us. I've been at the place where I need to lose weight, (yes other than 10th grade)... 1 year post marriage... I did not really noticed HOW MUCH weight I had gained. yikes. I see this more clearly when I look back at pictures. I definitely have an ideal size for myself that I believe to be healthy--even though when I am at that size, I still feel like I should lose weight. Can we ever be really happy with what we look like? Can people who make jeans realize that not everyone in the world is 5'10"? (thank you Joes for making a shorter length!)
One of my problems is when I need to lose weight--I occasionally lack the motivation to do anything about it--other than obsess about it in my mind and let those words fall out of my mouth. Then, all of a sudden I'm back on the band wagon and ready to cut my calories and stick to my 19 points. I'm wishy washy.
I've not been to the place where I need to gain weight... so I can't speak knowledgeably on this (I'll leave it to Sophia... kidding, I think she's adorable.)
I am concerned by our country. I'm concerned that we have tv shows where people have to go to lose weight. I am, oppositely, impressed with the amount of people every day who decide to make a healthy choice, a different choice, from what they would have made yesterday. It's hard to make the change and to start truly being healthy. How do we start? Where do we begin to find what is a "healthy weight" for each individual? I'm frustrated by the statments that if you are this height you should weigh this much. Um, when do you take into consideration muscle mass? (this coming from the girl who can't wear zip up boots because my calves are enormous. I hate them. hate hate hate.) Anywho....
This is all to say... there are women without curves, I long to be one, my husband longs for me to not be one. Where is the healthy medium? When will I stop eating emotionally and out of being bored? Probs never. In that case... I should probably keep running for life. At this point I'm eating whatever and whenever I'd like. One would think that a person training for a marathon should be super skinny--eh, this hasn't happened to me yet! I'll keep crossing my fingers and eating nachos, and praying for my legs to grow longer and skinnier.
And Sophia... go eat some cookies.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Confessions--not Augstine style.

I have eaten hotdogs from 7-11 (multiple times)
I love shoes.
I hate wire hangers. I curse them.
I have gray hair.
Ben worries I love our dogs more than I'll love our children.
I heart the color pink, but more than that... blue.
I love running.
I hate running.
I LOVE to read and Ben takes away my books so I can go to bed.
I do not paint my toe nails well.
I rarely purchase things full priced.
I get endorphin release from shopping.
I love wine.
I crave mac n cheese
I miss my girlfriends.
Linzie Treadway makes me laugh.
I always avoid praying outloud at family functions.
I'm always in search of the perfect pair of jeans.
I love Joe T's.
I have extreme guilt.
My dog snores.
When Ben talks in his sleep--I ask him questions.
I like 600 thread count sheets.
I love make up.
I would like to have someone do my hair for me.
I don't have very much jewelry.
I like strategy games.
I love my family.
Ben and I have been together for 11 years.
I am moved by communion--every time.
I got my ears pierced in kindergarten behind my moms back... thanks Nanny!
I like the smell of soap.
I love babies.
I listen in on other peoples convos while out at dinner.
I like presents.
I like to be surprised.
I like dinner.
I hate the word "vat" in regards to a large amount of food
I hate the word "patty" in reference to food. ew. chicken patty.
I don't like mouth noises.
I am scared of bingo arms.
I had a perm in 10th grade.


Thursday, October 2, 2008

Le sigh...

As you may or may not be aware--I am a spender. I like to shop--I like to wonder around Target and lose myself--purchasing anything or not. I carefully weigh my purchasing choices, rarely making any spur of the moment decisions, I keep my tags on my items until I decide I am going to keep them--I am at least, a practical spender.

I also pride myself on being aware of the environment and somewhat aware of our finances. I go in phases of being ridiculously obsessed with saving--time, money, electricity...

So in my $ saving endeavors I get overwhelmed by the things that seem to come all at once that I need. Boys do not understand this needing of such items. I need (in no partic's order) new running shoes, I need new face lotion, I need some new closed toe shoes, I need to provide a shower for the sis, I need a new outfit for my high school reunion, and I need to get my hair cut and colored. These are all necessities and not options. I'm on the search for the perfect outfit for my 10 year reunion that makes me look like I've not tried to hard, threw these things together, 20 lbs lighter than I am, and infinitely more attractive than anyone has ever seen me in my life. Agreed... this search is proving to be more difficult than I had originally thought. I'm at a loss for what to do. I have attempted to plan out my shopping extravaganza this weekend, but am simply feeling overwhelmed currently. Though I am a shopper, I despise shopping for specific items. I much prefer to happen upon them and make statements like--"Look at these things I got today--all of them an additional 50% off!" I never purchase anything full price--this makes me thrifty. The hubs disagrees. He seems to think that if you spend $100 on 8 things, you're still spending $100. Clearly, he suffers from man brain. It's the thrill of the purchase--knowing the good deal made. Justification in numbers. I could save this economy yet.
Speaking of...In this "financial crisis" (which I choose to avoid due to not really understanding) I hope that they will lose my student loans. Why can't the slate just be wiped clean? What harm will that do? I mean, it's all of this fictional money that seems to be lost anyway. (yes, I'm sure can leave me a diatribe about how this isn't the case and give me reasons for why... but much as when I wonder aloud 'how things work' and Ben begins to explain... I tell you--I don't really want to understand. I'm just musing to make myself sound more intelligent. ) It is a lot of room to take up in my brain to keep this knowledge afloat. I prefer to fill my memories with what I wore for my 5th grade school picture, what bath and body works scent I wore the summer that I worked at a camp for a couple of weeks and Ben was out of town and we wrote letters back and forth (1998,) the color of the ribbon on my grandmothers piece of white china that held pennies, the taste of her double mint gum, inside jokes, and WW points for certain foods.
Anyway, back to student loans. I think I've mentioned this before--but I'm relatively sure that they are the devil. They are out there tempting you--leading you astray, making you feel good about yourself as you attend your higher education private institution, letting you pay your bills, your rent, that extra drink on a night out--and then WHAM, you have to pay them back! They cause guilt, anger, resentment, loss of memory, pain in the ass. But, it's GOOD debt. Um, no. perhaps this is how we got in this situation believing that things are "Good debt" eh? I'll pay you with this fictional money that the frickin government gave me because I'm poor, but not actually teaching me that I should perhaps attend a STATE SCHOOL and not a private one. Jerks. Hey, I know... why don't you also "pretend" to give this fake money to other countries so they'll like us better... that won't cause any problems. Right? Perhaps the government has brainwashed me and this is why I'm a spender who has the dual personality of a saver? It's quite the predicament.

SO here I sit at work--feeling overhwelmed by my good debt, desperately wanting a nap, desperately wanting to go home--trying to figure out when I'm going to grocery shop, how I'm going to clean my house before the FIL gets in this afternoon, keep the house clean before the MIL gets in on Monday, run 20 miles, find the perfect outfit, get my hair done, nap, read Wicked, watch sex in the city, catch up on my missed shows this week because I've been doing something EVERY NIGHT, and volunteer on Sunday at something I no longer want to volunteer with simply because I feel the need for rest. suggestions?