Tuesday, February 22, 2011

and we're back in the game.

We disappeared for a while.

RSV appeared. It wiped us out. Made us have breathing treatments. Made us very pathetic. Made us miss almost a week of work.

By "us" I mean G-man. It was awful. If I knew how to mobile blog I'd upload a picture. I don't though sooooooooooooooooo I'll tell you he's ok now.

"We" are now so interested in Ev-er-y-thing that we can't nap.

That, or we poop ourselves.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Ellen turns 53

It's no secret I love Ellen. I DVR her everyday (though I found her bday episode to be less than stellar.)

I'm hanging out with the moms this weekend and we were watching on Friday.

She said, are you and Ellen about the same age.

Um... Ellen Degeneres? She's 53.

Whoa, really? I thought she looked like she was in her 30's.

Now, I think Ellen be lookin' good. However, she is more than 20 years older than me. Wowsas mama, wowsas.

The eyes of Texas are upon you.

Or, I see the moon and the moon sees me.

I'm home. The place I grew up that was devoid of lights except for the stars and our neighbors. Aka--my aunt and uncle and my grand parents. We had space for exploring. For creating. For counting the stars. It's easy to forget that when you move to a city--or, in this case, as the city moves to you. Slowly the lights are encroaching on this space.

But when I got to town on Thursday night I found this. I thought it was gorgeous.
Posted by Picasa

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Lactation consultant?

When Ben hears ANY song with the word "memory" in it as "mammary." It's funny. Try it some time.

I'm basically a milk cow. Fo' reals. Worse now that G is sick and not eating. I didn't know that most people don't pump out... 800 ounces at a time. I didn't know that most people don't need to wear breast pads 24-7.

In a gross note... one, and/or both of my dogs likes to eat breast pads. Disgusting. I also wash them a lot. Also gross.

My b-feeding has still yet to make me drop 3k lbs in 3 weeks. By three weeks I also mean almost 7 months.

Mmmm girl scout cookies.

I went there.

Do you have any products that you love? I had a body wash I loved. It got discontinued. I, begrudgingly, found another one. It was ok. I kept buying. Then I decided to blow smells into my face at the store until I found another I loved. I did. It's apparently discontinued. AGAIN. What did I do? I bought a box of it on amazon. Yah. I did. I did that. I considered a case--do you think they give you a discount like they do at the grocery store where you are like, what I was getting 2 bottles, but it's financially more responsible to buy 6.

No. I've never had that conversation. Ever. except maybe once.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011


I probably shouldn't be one. Baby G, G$, G Star, Grifzmo (the list goes on and on) has been sick the last few days so I've been home and consumed a mass amount of sweets. It's bad, y'all. Real bad.

Since pregnancy I can have no less than 2 bowls of cereal. 2 bowls. 2 fajitas. One ice cream pop. 85 cookies. 1/2 a cupcake. Some cocktails.

It's seriously amazing that I can't lose weight. My self control is also at a loss.

I start boot camp one week from today. God Bless. It's divinely inspired, I swear.

As a friend said... it's a 2 diet coke kind of day.

Monday, February 14, 2011

My boys... and me.

Ps. This is sleep hair.

And Maggie is a girl.

How I know Ben and I are MFEO

Apparently, some lady picked this up right before him and put it back because she did not find the humor. We both laughed out loud. This is how I know that Ben and I were MFEO

And these are the cupcakes he got me... and the gifts G got from his classmates that his mom then scoped to eat the candy.
Posted by Picasa

NO take backs.

Happy Valentine's day. It's the Ben and I's 14th together. Yes, you read that correctly. Our first date was on V-day. As I was embarrassed by my car I met him at the movie theater in my dad's truck and brought a red heart shaped sucker. (We lived an hour apart, so we met there.) Thankfully, I was not in my high school wardrobe of choice--overalls. Do I remember what I was wearing? OF course.

So fast forward to----------------sick baby. Sick baby with an ear infection. Sick baby who has been coughing for a few days and didn't feel well, but woke up at 1 am feeling awful with a fever. Sick baby who, with the burn of his skin, I can still feel on my cheek 10 minutes later. Sick baby who is having to have breathing treatments and has an ear infection. Sick baby who has worn pj's all day instead of his Mommy's Valentine shirt. Sick baby who NEEDS NEEDS NEEDS his mama. It's all very pitiful.

And, so I took this sick baby, and his prescription, to the pharmacy after the LONG doctor's appointment this morning. The guy said, we're running behind. It will be at least 30 minutes. I said, in an annoyed--can't you see I have a sick baby here and should trump all orders--I can't wait. He then said...

So do you want your prescription back? seriously. Seriously?

Thankfully, I came home to TWO cupcakes as a surprise from the hubs.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

wants and desires

This IS safe for work. No inappropriateness here.

Here is what I want--for my blog to be fancier. Fancier lay out, fancier pictures, fancier fancy pants and someone to fancy me.

I also want for when I wash my hands they not dry out like crazy which leads me to not wanting to wash my hands.

Too much to ask?

Putting the fun back in disFUNctional.

Have I posted Christmas pics yet? Me thinks not. We tried to get a family shot that... no lie, took like 200 shots. We also put some headbands on Griffin so he could try them out for his cousin coming in May. He's an adorable girl.

My nephew is a hair puller when tired. Hence the following hilarity.

self portrait.

You can't tell but there is snow on the ground. In south Texas. This is huge, y'all. Huge. We canceled work. I chose the black and white version so you couldn't see my roots.

The kid hates banana's, but was making out with mine. Then spitting out the nana mush. And, yes, his sleep sack IS only half way on. I don't claim to be the best parent. Just one who takes compromising pics of her kid.

Ben is under the impression that G needs some article of clothing that professes love for him. I think it's more that I bought him a valentine's shirt that says, "Mommy's Valentine." And, they don't make a ton of boy stuff that says, "I love dad." I mean, sure they have things like, "daddy's little sheriff" or cowboy, or white boy or something. Lets be honest... we're super WASPy over here. His name is Griffin--in case you missed all of the monogramming.

G's TWO TEETH are already becoming big. He clearly gets this and his big thighs from me. Sorry, love. You are destined to a life of horse teeth and the constant search for amazing jeans.

He also loves the digital photography... or eating the camera strap. I took this picture while the strap was still attached to the camera. I love the squished up face trying to get the whole thing in. Sorry, dude... those big teeth are holding you back.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011


I almost shot someone today. True. It was a guy selling cleaning products. At least that's what I gathered when he started to hold out his cue cards.

He rang the doorbell at 1:45. I was disinfecting toys and cleaning. My dogs went ape shit crazy (clinical term.) Maggie considered eating him. Yep, the dumb one.

I was trying to get out the door and close it without dogs pouncing on the man. He said something about hoping they don't like chicken?

Which made me wonder... do cleaning product sales guys taste like chicken? And do they do baby duty when they wake them up?

Monday, February 7, 2011

A Happy Harry Meal

So news of all news--We have a Wild About Harry's in Austin now! It is amazing. Simply amazing. And a central part of my college experience. Harry was there alot--kind of a local celeb.

Anyway, their kids meals are called Happy Harry Meals. Which I think is amazing. And weird.

We went on Friday night after having sushi. Yep, kept the kid up late because mama NEEDED a custard fix. I don't remember the last time I had it. The little girl (I call her that because she was in high school) wanted to make SURE that we knew that their Harry Meals were on special on Mondays and Tuesdays... so we could bring Griffin back.

Bless her heart.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

I'm a swinger.

How inappropriate can I be in relation to my child? Answer. Very, apparently?

I was just trying to come up with a clever title and it's all I've got other than my typical idea of, "I have the cutest kid ever." There are only so many times you can use that as a title, though... right?

A painter--not an artist.

So for Christmas I got my mom and painting adventure. So, she, my sister and I took off and left the boys at home to go create a master piece. This was TOTALLY harder than the last time I went. And, Svetlana, our instructor, was kind of hard to follow at times. She reminded me of my 10th grade Algebra 2 teacher who had a VERY thick accent and would put up an equation for 3 seconds and say, "look at it. Memorize it. Ok. Lets move on." Svety would say, "And it's as easy as that."

So here is evidence of our extreme arty-ness.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Hookers, blow and 6 months old.

So I haven't posted in a while. I've been chastised. I was too lazy to figure out that picasa only costs $5 per year for an upgrade. But....

In the last month, my baby has turned 6 months hold, started doing hookers, and blow. One truth and 2 lies. I'll let you choose which is true. (And prepare yourself now that I am paying $5 for blogger vomit.)

A teaser...