Saturday, April 26, 2008

I'm committed.. or shoud I be committed?

So my mom was in town this weekend. Well, technically she got in town on Thursday night and left late this afternoon. I miss her. Seriously, how can I be a grown up if I miss my mom? We didn't really do all that much. We shopped, hung out, ate, got pedicures. The usual. I desperately want to live closer to my parents. (yes, I realize I just posted something about moving to another continent.) Ug. How can I think about having children when I want my mommy? I'm such a dichotomy. Suck.

In other news, my sweet husband returns home tonight. YAY.

This is a lame post. apologies.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

I'm not internationally known, but I'm known to rock a microphone.

So, in dreaming of being with Ben in England this week, I am pondering our future. He has already been offered a job there with the National Instruments branch there. Awesometown. Clearly, we are not moving as he has not been in this current location even a year. However, our international move could still be a possibility? perhaps, or it's just me wishful thinking. I'm sure that once I'm "knocked up" (I think that's what kids these days are calling it) that I'll want to be near home. At this point in time, however, I think that being alone in another exotic country (with amazing wine and cheese), is far more exhilirating than being alone in Austin, TX. I mean, EVERYONE would want to visit Italy, and who would want to visit Austin? Our babies could have dual citizenship and amazing accents. As of now, our babies can have country accents and only be a US citizen. Perhaps this will mean more after November....

And, they'd be no strangers to H&M. I rest my case. I'm moving (after ben gets an amazing job that moves us on the company dollar and restricts my being able to have a job because of work visas and I have to walk around and be fabulous and philanthropic.)

Sunday, April 20, 2008

They call me soupy... because I like soup.

Ok, so the soup I just made is delish (even though it will feed an army.)


2 cans of cannelini beans (drained. One can blended)
1 can dark red kidney beans (drained)
14.5 can fire roasted diced tomatoes
1/2 package of ground turkey
red pepper flakes
green chile sauce
portabella mushrooms (sliced)
fresh okra sliced

In large dutch oven/large pot put in olive oil and then saute the onion until tender. Add garlic (I'm leaving the amounts open... I used a small yellow onion and 4 cloves of garlic.) Then add chopped celery and cook about 8-10 minutes. Add red pepper flakes (again, I didn't measure) Then add the ground turkey and cook until done.

Pour in fire roasted tomatoes, beans, blended beans, mushrooms, okra, and green chiles.
Pour in about 3-4 cups of water.

I let it cook for about an hour on low and then tore up the kale and let it cook an additional 15-20 minutes.

Ok, and seriously this makes an ass ton of soup. I may have forgotten some things I'm not sure because it came from my head.

Dinner for one.

So, Ben is somewhere between ATX and Chicago. He his flight was today at 5:30, I have already had my first overwhelming urge to cry. I walked into the bedroom after attempting to make dinner for one to find that the light in his closet was still on. All of a sudden I almost burst into tears. Typically, this light in the closet business could bother me, but today, not so much. I find his clothes on the floor to be a comfort instead of an annoyance. Lucky bastard :) IT's not that I can't be alone, it's just that I've grown accustomed to his being around. This is no surprise to me. I love that man. I'm in love.
It's going to be lonely, Gizmo and I discussed this when I got home from grocery shopping. I made a soup tonight, not sure how I thought that this would be an easy thing. Apparently not. Well, the soup was easy to make but I'm relatively sure that it will feed like 20 people. I wanted to make a lot so I could have it for lunch and probably dinner tomorrow also. eh, perhaps I'll gain weight instead of losing weight this week.
So I began at the beginning of April saying that I'd lose 5 lbs. This was an overly zealous goal. Wrong, this was not an over zealous goal, it was completely realistic, I was simply not over zealous about meeting this goal. I have lost 1.2 lbs, but that's not 5. I guess I still have a week and a half. You never know what may happen. I'm filled with surprises that I'll have to share with my dog and on this blog that like 3 people read because when I come home there's no one else to talk to. I know, it sounds pathetic.... because it is.
Ok, I must go check on my soup that almost over fills my dutch oven.

Friday, April 18, 2008

It's time...

So, as I was leaving a shopping area yesterday I was consumed by the thought of people getting older. I have decided, that once you even begin to consider a Lincoln Towncar (or anything comparable) it's about time we also consider taking away your keys. Especially, if you start to defend them by saying things like, "but it is such a smooth ride." No. If it takes you 8 years to turn your gigantic steering wheel and you have to do like a 10 point turn, you should not be driving. If you are in this car and you also stop at the stop sign for a full 10 seconds. Hand them over. I mean, maybe you can go joy cruising on Sundays when your people are also out, but that's it. I do not look forward to this conversation with my parents, but I'm sure it will come at some point.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

you pull that thing down flip it and reverse it.

So... I've had plenty of time to write a blog since the last time I did...but alas, laziness settled in again. That desire to aimlessly search the internet while I'm at work having nothing to do other than talk with people on g-chat and look for jobs and dogs.

I have had 2 of the most amazing weekends in a LONG time the past 2 weekends. So what do I have coming up next week? Oh, right.. my husband is leaving to go to England for a week. Suck. SO, I had my girls weekend which was ridiculously fun. Granted, there is only so much girl time that I can have secluded in a cabin, but this was the PERFECT amount of that time. I laughed and even thought about crying. It's so nice to go somewhere after you have been somewhere else and remember what it's like to be known. To come into a space where you are immediately who you are (to these people at least) and they are them and everything is comfortable. I wonder though, if we fall into the family category systems even in these types of groups? We've all grown and changed and moved and gone a little crazy and come back a couple of times, yet when we come back, everyone is the same as they were in grad school. Interesting. It made me long to have that group again... that community, that safety. But it's lost, well it's lost in its immediacy. We've moved on. And simply put, we've moved. We are all across the US and getting together once a year is as good as we can do, and I'll take it. We shared our hopes, our fears, our sadnesses, our downfalls, and our loneliness (turns out I'm not alone at this stage in my life.) I guess there is comfort in knowing you aren't alone. I'm also not alone in thinking that eating a couple of brownies at a time is perfectly acceptable... right ladies? And perhaps drinking a special drink at 12 made with cranberry juice is deliciously intoxicating. I miss my friends.
Last weekend, I don't think I've laughed as hard as I did last weekend. Oh Lawdy. So, not only were Nathan and Mary in town for the weekend, but so was Burnet/Ricky/William. Whatever you want to call him, I'll call him Burnet for now. We went out for sushi on fri night and then to a bar, where they filled my drinks entirely too tall, and spilled on my skirt... and perhaps had one too many drinks, and then saturday... oh saturday. We met Burnet and Dan at Trudy's where we discussed the finer points of life over bloody mary's and margarita's... and the lawyers at the table debated the margarita rules at the restaurant with the waitress. She was defeated, but had to stick to her guns. Then back to our house where we just sat outside and laughed for HOURs. It's a good thing I didn't work out that day, because you know what they say about too much exercise... it's bad for the heart, I'm relatively sure. Again, I was reminded of what it's like to be "gotten." It was so comfortable. I could say whatever I wanted, without hesitation, that frequently, comes out as innuendo's that I don't actually mean. Was I embarrassed? Absolutely not. Seriously, I think our lives that day could have been a reality tv show and everyone would have laughed. everyone. I miss these people. Luckily, Mary doesn't have friends close to her either so we are allowed to call and commiserate on this.

And now... I'm looking at a weekend that will begin well, tonight by watching JUNO, tomorrow a date night that hopefully does not begin in an argument about how I'm indecisive about what I want to do, and instead my husband has gone to great lengths to plan our adventure. Saturday... I think we're going to go down to the lake again and then go to an egagement part... a tropically inspired engagement party. interesting? maybe. This is a couple who is trying to date Ben and I. I'm just not sure I'm into it yet... maybe if they buy me things like presents and dinner I'll become more acclimated. We'll see. Then Ben leaves on Sunday and I'm left to my own devices... and clearly, there are not many of those. I think it will inspire me to work out. That, or I'll be inspired to go to target everyday and perhaps stop by the domain on my way home, and perhaps open a bottle of wine in the evenings because I have no one to talk to other than my dog and the tv. Thank jeevus that the writer's strike is over. Thank you Tom Cruise with your voodoo magic.

So, I'm assuming that my week will be filled with running, laundrying, cleaning, girl movies that my husband does not enjoy, a lot of TIVO, and wine. I get a little nervous at night by myself, though I've greatly improved in this area. This is probably due to my guard dog... ok, perhaps it's just due to something else. Going to bed early. This is easier done when there's not someone you want to spend your time with present :) I see next week as my new year's week.. you know, when you do really well working out and eating for a week and then real life settles in and you realize that these goals you've set are ridiculously hard and it's easier to eat cheese and nap?

Ok, back to sending flair and perhaps another coat of polish for my toes... something at which I do not excel... painting my own toes.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Mass Exodus.

Tomorrow is a day I've been waiting for. I leave the AUS and head to Nashvegas to meet up with some of my closest friends from the grad school years. I'm sure we'll spend plenty of time in our cabin worshiping and trying to figure out how to turn water to wine. I mean, this WAS the first miracle. I have not seen many of these women in at least a year or 2, which is so sad. I mean, we go and meet and love one another for 3 years and then we spread all across the US. Perhaps this is also like the tower of babel. Luckily we'll be able to hear one another despite our different languages. Or something like that. I think I'm trying too hard to make us sound saavy, professional, and studied. Ok, perhaps I'm just trying to make myself sounds this way.

I hear that Linzie will be performing a liturgical dance to sound of a mixer full of margarita's being stirred. Well, I believe she actually said that she'd call it a liturgical dance, but would most likely just be intoxicated and falling down. I bet it will be a moving performance.

What do I pack for a low key weekend? Everything I"m sure. My skill is not in packing, but in over-packing and despising every minute of it wondering why I'm not insanely wealthy and own someone to do this for me. I would be one of those good owners who really values your opinion and uplifts you in every way. I believe I was born into the wrong caste. Surely the Brahmans want me. right?

Trashville here I come. You don't know what you are getting when these ladies descend upon your city. Praise songs? Possibly. Theological discussions? Most likely. Gossiping? Definitely. Drunkenness on the drink of the gods? Most assuredly.

So I will leave this city that I love to hate, pack up my slightly larger clothing, try to hide my grey hairs that are on display, attempt to conceal my teenage blemishes, and hope to present myself like the lady I am... the lady who loves her ladies, loves to travel, and cant' wait to laugh her ass off. And it all comes back to weight loss :)

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

I'm famous.

I'm kind of a big deal.

SO it begins...

So, I've been complaining for a few months about the new additions to my life. The pounds. The silly lbs I've gained since moving to Austin. I blame it on lack of friends and increase in alcohol consumption so I can fit in with the youngsters. This fitting in with them is causing me to not fit quite as well in my pants. This is an issue, and a financial one at that. I can't afford to go buy all new pants. So it begins... my weight loss challenge. When I hear the word challenge it takes me back to the Cosby Show when Mr. Huxtable takes Rudy to tap class and he gets tap dance challenged by the old man that works there. Ahhh the Huxtables and their red pots and pans. I desire them. Anyway, I digress...

SO, begins my challenge to lose 5 lbs this month. This is completely doable... I mean, there are no big Holidays so I won't be compelled to eat every dessert at the table. I believe this weakness is actually genetic much like ugly pants, bad bangs and white trash bleach jobs... hmm, perhaps that's a different kind of gene...

Want to join me? I will begin the slow slippery slope into starvation. Well, more restriction and consciousness, I suppose. I may even go back to the WW meetings and being weighed. I haven't weighed in in over a month because I was not happy with what their scales last told me. Bitches. That and I had a meeting I liked in Atlanta that finally bypassed the overly happy and poorly dressed leader that I first went with. I then focused more on her annoying me than on the life skills she was supposed to be imparting. I say if you wear fake hair pony tails you are not allowed to pass on life skills. end of story.

Today I will count my points and work out. This is no April Fool's joke (except that this weekend I'm going to be with a TON of my favorite girls in the world and this may involve wine and whine. I do not believe these calories will be held against me because we are all seminarians and our consumption cancels one another out.)

Wish me luck in this journey... and don't stop believin'