Thursday, August 28, 2008

I have a sickness.

So, I have a sickness that needs a cure. I'm obsessed with frozen yogurt. I want to eat it all the time. I mean, it's healthy, right? If I don't stop eating this I'm going to weigh 8000 lbs. I mean, how am I ever going to be described as "that thin girl". Like when someone says, "Amanda Black. Hmm... who is that?" and the other person replies, "You know... that thin girl with the (insert color of hair), amazing skin, and long skinny legs? Yah.. never going to get there. I mean, a. I'm never going to have long skinny legs--unless I hit an early 30's growth spurt. These dont' happen very often anymore.
b. I can't stop eating frozen yogurt... or everything else for that matter. I have been eating like I'm scared my last meal will not show up... or as if... it's the last supper. I had to get something religious in there. mmmm supper....

Anyway, frozen yogurt... how I love you. My new favorite place (now that I do not work by tcby) is called Sprinkles. They have a rotating tap of 6 flavors and like 60 different kinds of toppings. You pour it yourself and add the toppings yourself... then they weigh it to tell you how much it costs. Today's adventure was only $2. Mint chocolate with roasted almonds. Delish. I mean, almonds add protein, right? Right. Perhaps this is my road to recovery? The milk industry (you know the ones) tells us that if we eat dairy then we will lose weight. Well, in this case bring on the cheese, too. Cheddar on saltines is one of my fave things, and another current craving.

I have an uncanny ability to rationalize--clearly. I apparently think that if I am running all the darn time... which I feel like I am... I can eat whatever I want-whenever I want. So I do. Perhaps I'll swim 8000 laps tonight. Probably not going to happen, but I will pretend. So, next time you see me, be sure to let me know that I'm looking a bit taller, a bit thinner, and like I'm getting my fill of dairy--you will notice this by my thin waist line.

Hmmm cheese and crackers. Sounds like a great mid-mid afternoon snack.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever

this is hilarious.

I don't know if I've sent these out before, but these are actual metaphors used by high school English students from across the country. They make me laugh each time I read them:
1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its twosides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking allianceslike underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience,like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipsewithout one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes aroundthe country speaking at high schools about the dangers of lookingat a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.
4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli, and he wasroom-temperature Canadian beef.
5. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dogmakes just before it throws up.
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree.
8. The revelation that his marriage of 30 years had disintegratedbecause of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like asurcharge at a formerly surcharge-free ATM machine.
9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way abowling ball wouldn't.
10. McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bagfilled with vegetable soup.
11. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had aneerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in anothercity and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30
12. Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze.
13. The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots whenyou fry them in hot grease.
14. Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers racedacross the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains,one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, theother from Topeka at4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.
15. They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picketfences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.
16. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirdswho had also never met.
17. He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she wasthe East River.
18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap,only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut.
19. Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do.
20. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlikePhil, this plan just might work.
21. The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from noteating for a while.
22. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck,either, but a real duck that was actually lame, maybe from steppingon a land mine or something.
23. The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended oneslender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
24. It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids aroundwith power tools.
25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heardbells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up.

Consume my thoughts, be still my soul.

SOOOOOOOOO I suppose I haven't written in a while. I think that I get overwhelmed and then I think, I'll just do it later. This is much my thoughts with laundry. Hence, then spending an entire day on it. I have other skills. This used to be followed by "like celebrity gossip." However, as other things have fallen away, so has my knowledge of all things good and celebrity related. Apparently, my pinkfabulous computer does not compel me to write. Instead, it compels me to do research on things like new tv's, a wii, and running attire... and baby products for my neice/nephew. I think it's still in the jamie lee curtis phase... but we'll know what jamie lee for sure is next Thurs, Sept. 4.

I've started my new job. I think i'm going to lurve it. The people ar epretty fab, but I don't really know what my role is, per se. I'm somehow important, yet not sure what that holds. SO until them I'm assisting the assistant until I learn. I have also created a budget for like the 100th time in the last year. My goal, this time, is to actually use it so that the research I do on tv's and wii's actually pays off. Well, that and so that I can get my hura did and not stress out about what it costs to keep up this appearance. ... and hopefully so I can get some new shoes... and have a fabulous birthday dinner.

Traning is going really well. I ran 16 miles on Saturday and taht is the furthest I've ever run... ever. It took me about 3 hours and I was pretty happy with my pace. My legs now hurt like hell. Hence, I'm getting a massage on Friday night. I'm hoping to get in a relatively long run Friday morning though so I don't have to do anything on Saturday. We're missing the human race, but we'll be in Fredericksburg with my fam celebrating my mom's 60th bday and my dad's 61st. Yay for wine tours.

Back to work. So I've offered to go to this conference in October in Chicago. So, I looked up some of the presenters and they are all at these mega churches. So, I looked up ones close to my parents house and holy crappola. These people are nuts. (forgive me if you are also nuts and think no one should ever get divorced, and if I offer you help in your marriage and you refuse I kick you out of church.) I'm baffeled by this. PS... don't know how to spell baffled. weird word. I also sat in on this group (I'm going to be in charge of the groups) and we prayed over someone... this makes me uncomfortable, especially for people I do not know. I am also uncomfortable with, while praying, people beside me are saying silently to God, "yes Lord. yes sweet Jesus." Because it isn't between you and Jesus... now I'm brought into your personal prayer. I know this should not bother me... but it does. It bothers me as much as when people say "just" before every sentence in their prayer. anyway. I have more to say, but I'll not.

I'm also in need of a pretty awesome halloween costume that is music related. I would love some suggestions. Perhaps even "couple" suggestions so I can incorporate my husbandola.

I'm going to be 29 in 2 months.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

She work hard for de money

So hard for de money... She work hard for de money so you betta treat her right.

or something like that. I started work last Fri... but haven't made it a full day yet. Well, this isn't entirely true. I've worked the whole day, just not in the office (in which I have an office.) I've been reading like crazy and about 2:30 I'm done sitting in the office. I need a change of scenes. I'm not still convinced that I'm made for working. Seriously, born into the wrong caste system. Ok, so the job is great, the people there are great, and I'm SOOOOOOO excited about the opportunities that are going to be available to me!!! Like, I'm going to meet some pretty formative people in the state of Texas. Ps. it's a big state.

I'm exhausted for some reason though. I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open during the day. I think it's stress. So, now I'm destressing by watching Tori and Dean. Cate said to watch stupid tv to give my brain a break from all of the reading. It's like being in seminary again. Ok, not really because my friends aren't there, but a lot of boring reading :)

This weekend we're headed to Houston, after I run 14 miles, for a friends wedding. We're both really excited about it. I wish everytime we traveled somewhere we got an extra day at the end of the weekend to recoup and have someone else clean our house. None of these things happen, but if you have suggestions, lets me know.

The dogs are doing well. They're lazy. Adorable. I'm glad they go to the bathroom outside. This is random. I know.

Ben is being crazy busy with work and NI week. I'm lame at night. I'm getting a massage tomorrow night which I'm really thankful for. No, not the fun kind... ok, either of the fun kinds, but a sports massage that should be pretty painful, but my legs hurt like crap so I'm hoping it helps. I'm also considering a thin mint blizzard as my bonus for working an ENTIRE week. I hear they are only 12 points. Perhaps I could run an extra couple of 12 miles? Probs not. Eh, what are you gonna do? oh right... gain a bagillion lbs. before going to my 10 year reunion... awesometown.

Could I borrow 1 million bills ya'll? I can't pay you back, but I would like a new wardrobe and a new tv. and a wii. Though, my pink computer does bring me joy everyday. lovely. I would say I'll post pics of it soon, but clearly... from history, this will not happen. I do believe I have enough effort to actually post the pics from camp I promised. Well, maybe not from camp, maybe from the wedding? We'll see how the mood strikes.