Oh, THAT kid.

This kid is cute. no lie. I just watched him on Ellen. However, I wonder if this kid will be normal and have normal friendships?

I also am relatively sure my kid won't be a presidential genius. Sometimes he licks my leg.

I have a problem.

First, I love "as seen on tv" products. In a weird way.

Second, I have a love affair with cleaning products.

Third, this was an amazing deal that I got for $14. I couldn't wait to come home from work today and try it out. I just tackled the grout in our shower. Like, tackled. I want to go back for more but my trigger finger (that is something real, right?) is totally tired from steaming.

Though I love the cleaning supply, and a day spent obsessing over every inch of our house, I don't really get that chance. And, I have no idea why I thought ohhhhhhhhhhhh pristinely white shower tile and grout--how pretty! What a pain in the ass. Perhaps if I were a more detailed cleaner all of the time we wouldn't be in this situation. I'm not saying our shower is gross by any means. It gets cleaned once a week, but there are certain sections where the water hits? maybe? that has gotten shmutzy. I don't know why it happens. It irks me though. I can kaboomfoamtastic the shit out of that grout and it still looks stained.

Now, oh now that I have my as seen on tv hand held steam cleaner, I feel that life is turning around. Soon I'll be back to my pre-preggo body, I'll stop eating ice cream every day, I'll go for a run, I'll actually mail packages, I'll go to bed early, I'll say "no" to that one extra drink, I'll print pictures of my baby.

Well, at least the grout will be clean.

More than crack.

You may recall my previous post about the syph's outbreak in Austin, no?

I'm not sure who is in charge of our public service radio commercials here in the ATX, but there is another one.

About tobacco use. How it kills more people than AIDS, Crack, and other things I can't remember because the first two are AIDS and crack.

I think we are a morally lack luster city, apparently. Houston has obesity, Dallas has blonde big hair, Austin has STD's.

Thank goodness I've only lived in two of these before. Sadly, Ben has lived in all 3. You should have seen his hair in the 90's.

If you don't think this is funny

You're no friend of mine.

Mr. Sunshine.

Excuse me.

Auditors are going to be at our office for the next few weeks. Today they brought in breakfast tacos. Some say it's for Texas independence day... others, probably just because they are being nice. Neither here nor there.

Convo with my admin this AM.

You totally should have gone down and gotten a breakfast taco.

Her: no, I'm being good.

Me: (thinking to myself... self, where is that self control that you are trying to court?)

Her: So this morning I had my oatmeal with walnuts and raisins and flax seed.... so you'll want to stay away from me today.

Wow. She just referenced her gas. Wow. Wow. wow.

It's not even business casual Friday.

7 months.

I've lost my mojo.

I don't even know what mojo is. I'm scared to look it up at work because I tried to look at something baby related the other day and it was blocked because it was "adult content." wha? I'm on a list. I know it. I know that Austin Powers lost his too... so maybe I shouldn't say I lost mine because that's not my bag. Wow. Yep. I went there. My magical powers? Magic Johnson? Musical Jirations? are definitely lost. Or is it girations? I don't know... because spell check just high lighted this ENTIRE paragraph. That's not good.

Maye I'm going through a growth spurt? Which makes me eat donuts and desire sleep. I had a donut incident this morning. Twice.

So why am I not posting? And about 80 years behind on reading the blogs that consume my free time? Yah, I'd like to say my free time is consumed with museums and literarly dialogue and saving sea urchins, but alas... most of it is spent probing the internet, eating girl scout cookies, and catching up on my stories.

I guess I could write a post about my bootcamp experience last week? But mostly it would involve the words "want to punch him in the face." How entertaining is that?

Or I could talk about how I proceeded to get the RSV. (I like to add "the" before things to make them more important. My mom adds "that" before someones name to refer to someone she doesn't like.) It's genetic.

Mojo mojo. where did you go go?
I'm at a loss. Where's Who's The Boss?
Tony and Angela--Where is my Mo-jangela?

Fail. Nothing rhymes with Angela.