My mom thinks I have syphilis

So there is apparently a syphilis outbreak in Austin. For real. There is an ad on the radio. Crazy.

You know how I've been a hypochondriac in the past? Well... apparently, my mom forgot that my dreaded diseases NEVER EVER include STD's. Ever. I was telling the fams about the ad on Christmas and my mom, no lie, said, "I guess you'll have that next."

No.

Ebola, yes.

Syph's, no.

TB, maybe.

Syphilis, no.