apparently this kid is happening

Like... for reals.

After my paranoia about G staying with the grands, I actually suggested that instead of him coming home today that he come home tomorrow.  I know.  I've lost my mind.  however, we have gotten lots of shiz done.  I've also slept in.  And only woken up a few times thinking I can't hear the monitor.

We went to a party.  We ran errands.  We went to the movies.  I got G a new big boy duvet.  I attempted to find him sheets that are more than 200 tc (seriously, who makes those that aren't 300 million dollars for kids full sized sheets?)

I also made new baby a name sign.  Which means he's real.

Coping mechanism.

I need one.

That isn't a bottle of wine. 

G heads to his grand parents (ben's parents) for the first time by himself this weekend.  We head on an "adventure" this afternoon to meet Ben's mom for the exchange.

Tell me it's ok.  He will be fine.  He will not break every antique in their house.  They will make him wear a coat when it's 30 degrees outside.  He won't forget about me.  He won't climb out of his bed and lose his mind and then use his tiny toddler hands to escape captivity and get lost.

Goal... get the big boy room ready.  Goal, see a movie (on my bucket list), eat dinner, sleep in, nest and organize without chaos and disorganization.

Who wants the dogs?

Where is Jcrew again?

Life without Thomas--sounds fascinating. 

But he'll be ok... right?

A large jicama. Mature content.

That's what size babycenter says my baby is right now. 

Mature content.  Not safe for work.  Woman bares all.

Now go to the store and feel up some jicamas.  Find the largest one.  Now imagine that jicama with jazz hands and in a musical theater way, not in a Richard Simmons way.  There is totally a difference.  But the jicama will only do jazz hands when you forget about him and are going about your business trying to sit up at your desk.  And pizow, jazzy hands.  Only in my right ribs.  Simultaneously punching me in my bladder.  Actually, maybe I have a Michael Phelps in there with the wing span of a giant?  It's unclear.

Getting panicky about how unprepared we are for this kid.  Also panicky that he'll come like 8 weeks early.  Which would be now. 

Also starting to think we should mention the baby to Griffin more.  Maybe everytime I ask him if he needs to potty I'll also be like, "mama's having a baby"... so 3587x per day.  Overkill?

I want you to want me.

My couches and I have a hate/despise relationship.  I both hate and despise them and feel the urge to mention this like every five minutes. 

When we moved to Austin 5.5 years ago I REFUSED to let our old couch enter into our new space.  The house that was going to be perfect.  I mean, that perfect set up where all the guest rooms/office are upstairs and just OUR GIGANTIC bedroom is downstairs?  PERFECT.  I mean... I was young and unknowning and didn't have a newborn who had to live in my bathroom for 6 months because I refused to go up and down those perfect stairs 5x a night.  I was young and unknowning and without a toddler to wreak havoc on our tiny downstairs with massive bedroom.  Who the hell needs a massive bedroom?  not me. 

Just the me who could drink like a horse (is that a saying?) and go run 18 miles the next day. 

She was dumb.

So now that you mention it... I'm over the house, too. 

I'm on a mission to rid myself of these couches before baby Meyer--the 40lb donut child--makes his entrance.  Now, we can't afford exactly what I want right now (yay 2nd kids) but I'm down with getting a Craiglist find for a few years as long as it means I NEVER HAVE TO SEE THESE AGAIN.  Ever.

You'll be surprised to know that there are a few things that I'm not good at--like doing the robot and estimating measurements. 

I found THE COUCH AND LOVE SEAT.  Wanted.  Needed.  We all three loaded up and went to see and I loved it.  Loved the girl.  Then Ben said... I don't think those are going to fit.  And I begged.  And pleaded to find a way.  And I kept asking (I'm helpful like that) if we could buy them anyway and figure it out.  Good sport Ben said we could do that, but it wasn't a good choice.  I sighed.  Admitted defeat (the next day) and was then told I couldn't mention how "he wouldn't let me have those couches." 

You don't knowwwwwwwww me.  (he does.  I totally say things like that.) 

So back to the CL grind.  I'm sure I'll be a statistic before long. 

Grossies.

Next up, how my baby is the size of a large jicama.  Who does jazz hands.

It was an accident... really.

I just purchased this.  By accident.  Like, I went to zulily and then I clicked on it and then I clicked purchase.  

I blame the baby.  And the sugar high.

Who leaves a pregnant woman home alone with home made chocolate chip cookies and the internet?

A few things I don't trust.

There are things I don’t trust.

Capri pants.

High waisted camel inducing jeans.

My love for Ke$ha and Nikki Minaj.

People who you see running in normal clothes.

That Mr. Noodle isn’t a creepster.

Any diet that tells you that you can’t have alcohol. Aka. Paleo.

Paleo madness. It’s everywhere. It’s all I hear about. Paleocrosffitcrazysunshineymusclebs.

Yesterday I made some paleo cookies (meh?) and some "spaghetti" which was actually really good. I paired it with a glass of wine.

Man. I thought I was going to lose 300 lbs by eating 25 paleo snickerdoodles and my "spaghetti" (which my child LOVED, btw. And so did the hubsters—once he confirmed that it was, indeed, real meat in there.) General basic recipe for my normal sauce only with tons of greens added and you couldn’t even tell. On top of a bed of zucchini "noodles." G did ask me… Mama, where the spaghetti? Whatever, I feed him lies all the time. Like when he said, "mama, are you crazy?" the other day and I told him "no." He caught on though because he replied back, "mama, you’re crazy." Crazy is his new word. Not my new demeanor. (right?... maybe.)

Now I’m down for eating clean and healthy and all that jazz. Not that I do all of that, but you know, I’m down with it. However, once you take away alcohol? I’m going to have to say no deal. I mean, I am already in bed by 10:30 and up by at least 7 what else do you want from me, life? I’m not giving you Ke$ha or Nikki either. I’m keeping them. And Britney. And Kanye when I run. You can own your Capri pants and high waisted jeans—but I’m going to look at you with squinty eyes.  Especially, if you are paleo.

Can’t you feel that boom ba doom doom boom da doom dom bass.

nest nest nest

This time around not only do I want to organize the crap out of my house BUT I’ve been a cooking fool.  For a long time after G was born Ben did the majority of our dinner making.  Lately, I’ve been baking like crazy AND making dinner.  I know.  I’m awesome. 

I realize I’m not.  I was kidding. 

This week I made 2 delish and EASY things.  I mean, delicious if you like the things in them… if not, then I made 2 very disgusting things and you should stop reading now.

One—Thai chicken chopped salad

Two—Orange Chicken Stirfry

Thai Chicken Salad

Iceberg lettuce

Zucchini

Edamame

Carrots

Celery

Peanuts

Peanut butter

Basil

Chicken tenders cut up

So I cut thinly some iceburg lettuce.  Then thin carrots, I grated a zucchini, and put in edamame, thinly cut basil, some peanuts and green onions.  I should have put in some celery, maybe?

Then in a skillet I heated up olive oil with some red pepper flakes to spice it.  Then I sprayed in some peanut oil.  I had cut up chicken tenders to bite size and then added garlic after cooking for a little bit in the oil.

For the salad dressing I did about 3 spoons of peanut butter, some vegetable oil (maybe 1-2 tbsp), soy sauce (1-2 tbsp), rice wine vinegar (2 tbsp), sugar (1 tsp), red pepper flakes and sirracha sauce for spice.  I didn't really measure any of that.

Then I mixed it all together with my hands.  Yums.

Orange Chicken Stirfry

Ingredients  (I didn’t measure so these are estimates)

Sauce:
1/2 cup orange juice
2 tablespoons soy sauce ?
2 tablespoons rice vinegar ?
1 tablespoon orange zest
2 large cloves garlic
1 teaspoon minced ginger
honey

Sirracha  (which I should have measured… and didn’t.  And it was SPICY.  Until I cooked it and it was fine.)

Stir-fry:
chicken tender cut into cubes
salt and pepper
2 tablespoons corn starch
Chopped veggies (carrots, green beans, zucc, corn, edamame etc…whatever you like)
olive oil
1/2 cup medium yellow onion, chopped

Directions

Blend all of the “sauce” into a food processor

Heat a skillet with olive oil and red pepper flakes.  Cook onions in oil.

Toss in the chicken (that has been tossed in salt and pepper and the corn starch) and cook until mostly cooked.  Then start spooning in the sauce and finish cooking the chicken in that.

I also did some 10 min brown rice (deluxe rawr) and actually used a frozen veggie medley (I was starving, yo.)  And after the rice was cooked just put the frozen veggies in to thaw with the hot rice and then mixed in the chicken/sauce.  Word up.  Immediate stirfry.