Tuesday, September 30, 2014

And the trumpets they go.

duh nuh nununa

No reason for that title other than that song is on repeat in my head.

C sections.  Something I thought I'd never have as the last baby basically fell out pain free.  So I knew nothing.  NOTHING.

Things you need to know...

1.  gas.  Painful.  no thank you.
2.  Before the gas they starve you... which is ok if you have weird reactions to your pain meds so you don't want to eat anyway... and YOU CAN"T HAVE THE EFFING GOOD DRUGS.  Um, what happened here?  How did this happen in the last 18 months?  Norco, I miss the good times we had.  You made me feel warm and happy.
3.  I had MAJOR night sweats post C sectioning.  Ew.  Like wet sheets.
4.  Lunch lady legs.  Massive swelling huge ass ankles that required compression socks.
5.  Pooping post baby is still a biatch.  There.  I said it.
6.  Your unders hit right at the incision.  Did I mention you have an incision?  No thank you.  Like they cut a person out of you.  And you FEEL IT.  ANd the spinal?  Well, that super hurts.  And if you have some weird reaction to that you almost die because it drops your heart rate too low.

I may just have six.  I'm sure I could think of something else to complain about... oh like not being able to pick up your kids.  Or the fact that you have an extra hole in your body.  Or that it gives you a FUPA.  This retreats?  Yes?  I'll run again?  My insides won't fall out?

Basically, we better re-get cable so that we don't find ourselves in this predicament again.  Oh, that and marathon training is OUT.

1 comment:

Sarah Krekow said...

You didn't expect me to share the WHOLE truth with you, did you?! ;) It blows. But it gets baby out safely, so ya know. I guess I'll do it….three times. Yuck. How 'bout the laughing bit. I was scared to laugh for like a month. And with Eli…the spinal didn't fully take. SO…I FELT IT. Dear GOD. They gave me the Michael Jackson cocktail, so I was pretty much in the clouds for a good two hours after his birth. Oy. You will be back to normal in no time! I promise you. Or else I would've stopped having kids after Carter. Hang in there Amanda!