Life with three kids is crazy. With 2 kids I managed to keep our house all clean and mostly organized and did things like arts and crafts with my kids. And I went to work. Um, what? Right now, post retirement, I feel like I sit never, clean never, do arts projects infrequently. I feel like no one gets any attention. I love all of you. I can't wait on bed time. When it gets to bed time I ache for you and lament everything I've done wrong that day and how I didn't hold you enough. All of you.
Our house is messy. We have piles of laundry which I swore I wouldn't have. I stay until you are asleep. I feed you quickly. I let you get by with a lot of things. Sometimes you learn how to sneak into our bed and I let you. You are each growing and I hate it and I love it because I get to see the little people you are becoming.
I wonder if you could ever know the love I have for you. Sometimes I wonder if you have lost your minds because you are screaming. Sometimes I wonder if the world will learn to cherish you like I do. Mostly, I know that the world won't and I hate to share you with the world. I keep thinking that i need a night away or a full night of sleep, but when I think about leaving you I get sad.
I have great aspirations of making miracles for you, but right now, I feel like I'm failing at that. But I love you. a lot. Even when you lose your minds and I know mine is already gone.
Don't change. Keep changing. Never settle for less than miracles.