It's 4 am.

You know what I just googled?

"What size maxi-pads to buy after giving birth"

I also just finished off a box of girl scout cookies that I opened yesterday.

Thank goodness my glucose test is done and that I'm awake alone without anyone to judge my googling and my cookie eating. They were delish, btw.

My life is lavish and luxurious--fosho.

How long will my child find me intelligent?

I'm guessing not super long. You know, like once he goes to school. I haven't been in school in a REALLY long time so his knowledge will be more fresh than mine.

I say this because--this weekend we went to dinner for my friends 30th bday (ps. I kick ass because I brought like 150 glow bracelets-who doesn't love those?)

Anyway, so back to dinner, Ben and I are talking, and this one girl mentions that her dad own's this Italian restaurant here and her last name is Mauro. Ben says to me, "You know, like that one waiter we had in Italy at x place." I stare blankly. I recall the waiter and the place we ate. And he's like, "you know, the one who told us his name was Mauro--like the ship. You know, and you said to him, "The Titanic? The Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria?"

My response--well, those are the only ships I know.

Then we laughed and he said, "I love you." (Ben speak--Bless your heart.)

It's not insomnia--just an unfortunate turn of events.

So there I was sleeping--rather soundly when... OMG someone is laying on top of me! I laid there a minute thinking he'd move, but no.
Ben-you're literally laying on top of me.
grumble, moan, kinda roll over, "yep."
Then I'm awake. I realize I need to pee. I come back to bed. Gizmo realizes he needs to be in bed to sleep at my feet. He keeps moving. I can't get comfortable. I need to roll over--which, to do so, I must sit up, move my pillow, and THEN roll over. Every time. (This would be different should we have a gigantic bed, but alas. We do not.) Then I am laying there and it hits me that I'm hungry. Maybe I can ignore it. Then I think about what we have left to do in the next 4 weeks. OMG what if he comes early. What all do I need to do at work today? Do I seriously need to pee again? I'm super hungry.

So, I just got up. I've now eaten a couple of bowls of cereal and am contemplating either trying to go back to bed, or just getting started on work and calling it a day early. I'm not sure which will be more exhausting. Working until 5, or being up since 4?

Dear bigger bed,
please come visit me soon.

Dear ugly POS couch I hate to even sit on,
please disappear.

~me

Sneak Peak

35 weeks--honeydew melon

5 weeks to go! Next week at my doctors appointment I get "checked"--which my doctor assured me doesn't hurt. I call lie.

All of the ladies at work keep telling me how fast this pregnancy has gone for them, which I totally agree. It seems like just yesterday I was running (and drinking the night away.) Kidding... I feel like I haven't run in approximately 2 years. And now it's just not safe, I tell ya. Ok.. maybe it's safe. Maybe I'm lazy. Whatever, it's hot outside.

This week Griffin is the size of a honeydew melon, apparently. He weighs about 5.25 lbs. I also became huge this week. Granted, I've said this before, but this time I really mean it. Even Ben agreed that my belly is, how did he put it, "not small." He wasn't saying this in a mean way, it was sweet... then he keeps telling me how cute I am and how he hopes I waddle soon. I kind of want to avoid the last one, but I think it's inevitable.

Also inevitable--new "over the shoulder bolder holders." (Thanks, Punky Brewster.)--and by inevitable, I meant TODAY. I've held out as long as possible, which has been a LONG time. I've now got a case of the side boob. I also have a case of the, "please don't make me leave the house after I have come home and put on a shirt that it doesn't matter if it's too short I need more freedoms." Some how I missed reading that your rib cage gets bigger which totally makes sense, but I hadn't thought about it. Hence more issues with the bra-zierres. (please note. I went to get a bra at a MATERNITY store and the lady asked if I was pregnant. I judged her skills and then didn't trust her right then and there. Seriously?)

I also have a carseat in my car! Ok, so it isn't like "in"... it's more, in the trunk. We are having someone come and give an estimate on what it would cost to clean our house and it was one way to de-clutter--and perhaps stop and have a fire department install said equipment. Maybe? Honestly, we'll probably install it relatively soon because otherwise I'll forget and I think we are finished having visitors to carry around and, as noted, we are FINISHED TRAVELING. Also, it is completely possible that I will forget and it will just hang out in my trunk for the next five weeks--then probably melt, because Texas is crazytown hot.
34 weeks (forgot to post this one, I think.)

muffins

Wikipedia describes "muffin top" as follows

Muffin-top" is a generally pejorative slang term used to describe the phenomenon of overhanging flesh (fat) when it spills over the waistline of pants or skirts in a manner that resembles the top of a muffin spilling over its paper casing.
This generally occurs when:
a person wears low-rise jeans, hip-hugger pants, and/or midriff-baring tops that are too small.
a very thin woman becomes pregnant, causing stretching of abdominal skin
an obese person loses large amounts of abdominal fat.
Skin on the abdomen that has increased its surface area due to pregnancy or obesity does not usually contract down to a smaller size, and may require cosmetic surgery to remove the excess skin folds.


It's 2 pm. It's my bewitching hour so it appears. It's the hour when my clothes feel unbearably too small. When I need to lay down. When I need just a little bit more elastic. I'm wearing a button up shirt today that where it no longer has buttons on the bottom kinda shows my belly. AWESOME. Totally work appropriate. Actually, come to think of it... it isn't just my clothes that are feeling too small--it's my skin.

Speaking of clothes--a couple of years ago I had a friend tell me that you may not realize it, but that you have to buy 2 sizes of maternity clothes. Though I totally believed her--I didn't get it. Until now. Seriously, my pants are becoming far too small and I'm NOT going to go buy a million more for like a month. So, I'll deal with the uncomfort--you deal with my skin tight preggo clothed self and my lopsided muffin top.

I hope I don't need my skinfolds surgically removed...

Newest favorite purchase.

You know... for things OTHER than baby items (which are useful--and generally cute) is thisIt's the shark steam mop. It has quite a few refillable pads and a different base for corners and other things that I haven't yet read about. All you do is fill it with water and let it steam up. It chemically free steam cleans your floors! For those of you with children, a love of clean, and a fear of mopping this is AH-MAZING. Usually, I swiffer wetjet. I think it cleans ok, but generally pushes dirt around. Probably would be better should I mop more often, but alas. I do not... and will not. Lets be honest. You also can flip the pad over and use the other side when one side gets dirty AND you just toss the pads in the washing machine! NO REFILLS necessary. I'm intrigued and in love.

I had another lovely (4th and final) shower this past weekend. Such generosity from good friends. Here are a few pictures from the weekend. We have a lot more. Perhaps I'll post them randomly. Then again, I often fail to do these things so most likely not. Maybe though, maybe.