Why hello there

Dear Sofie,

I love you.

sugar and spice

and everything nice. That's what little girls are made of.

I'm getting a niece in May! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

and I want this.

Wanna be bff's?

I thought so. I was reading a blog that I thought, who doesn't want to be my bff? Why pass an opportunity to over share?

1. I keep a glass of water by my bed at night... which usually means like 3 glasses. I'm like, keeping zombies away or something?
2. I will not buy less than 350 threadcount sheets.
3. I own a magic bullet.
4. I've thrown away change instead of putting it away before.
5. I make lists every time I go anywhere and check things off when I pack them. I never do that when I'm repacking to go home. Something usually gets left.
6. I'm a very poor napper.
7. I do 95% of thank you notes in a timely matter. 3% late and 4% never happen.
8. I am not good at figuring out percents... but I know a good deal when I see one.
9. I have dreams of being the most organized person ever, and knowing how to fold a fitted sheet. I think they are somehow tied.
10. My color pallet is navy, grey, black, turquoise, white and pink... and denim.
11. I never paint my nails.
12. I often save emails I really want to respond to and then never respond.
13. Allergy tests confirm that I'm not allergic to cockroaches. What? Who tests for that?
14. I love the feel of freshly shaved and lotioned legs on clean sheets.
15. I do not shave my legs as often as I should.
16. I thought the song sang, "Give me the beach boys to free my soul, I wanna get lost in your rock n roll and drift away." I still hold that that makes COMPLETE sense.

These are a few essentials.

It hurts from the experience.

So remember when I told you that we met a couple down the street who were expecting a baby this Christmas? And her midwife told her that people cry from the experience of childbirth and not the pain? And she was going to go pain med free?

Well, little one has made her appearance and we went to visit them yesterday and take some goodies. I asked how everything went. She then discussed how overwhelming the contractions were and that she needed an epidural.

I didn't say, "I told you so".... but only because I want them to be our friends. Maybe if it works out in a few years I'll remind her of the "experience?"

Remember before I had a baby?

And we did crazy things?

Like, drop it's like it's hot while singing a little Bust a move?

And take amazing pictures of myself?

And drink other peoples drinks?

And have the cab driver steal my phone? lose my phone in the cab and call it repeatedly the next day until the cab guy answers and brings it to me?

Someday, I'll share these items with my child. Maybe.

Elsa

The volvo wagon has arrived for the Ben Black. His mom car. With presets on NPR and a gps that takes us directly to whole foods right after a stop at the soccer fields.

We have named her Elsa. It's a sturdy name. The name of someone with a big ass. A gentle giant.

You've been gone too long.

So I went for a quick shopping trip on Saturday morning (Ben got in late fri night and baby was sleeping.) Ben and I have already given one another our gifts. Crazy, I know. However, our Christmases are crazy. We are constantly on the roll between one parent house to the next with zero time for "our" tradition or "our" Christmas time. We end up opening gifts in one of our childhood bedrooms and calling it a day.

Anyway, so I went to get a piece of his gift at our outdoor mall. Then I'm intrigued by Ann Taylor Loft. Apparently, not your moms Loft anymore. So I'm checking out with my gifts for myself and I'm all, "So when did you guys open here?" I was totally thinking it was like... this week.

September 17.

Wow. I've been gone too long my friends.

Emerging from hunger.

So Ben got me the Kindle for Christmas. What's that you say? It's days away? Pish Posh. It's a season so completely normal for me to get this on December 4th. My leveraging point was that I gave him his watch in November (new sports watch because he was doing an adventure race.) So, to make things right in the world he either needed to gift me my present that had arrived earlier that week, or give me back the watch and he can have it on Christmas. I also played the guilt card of him leaving me for the second time in a month for an entire week.

It's dreamy. I didn't think I wanted one, because I really like books. Then, I kind of changed my mind. Now, I'm obsessed. Love it. When I'm holding baby or rocking him I can read with one hand. I've also reduced my already little sleep by reading the first book of The Hunger Games in like 2 days. For reals. I was totally going to go to bed early last night. Then I looked up and it was way later than intended. Then I came home and read for 2 hours. I downloaded the 2nd book, but am not allowing myself to read tonight.

And... Jules Vern. I totally know who that is, oddly. Someone get this woman a glass of wine. Done and done.

Kindle. Love.

Proof my baby can morph into looking like me.

This is my nephew at 5 months old. How much do he and G look alike?

4 months... a little late.

I don't think he could be any cuter. Then again, I have a slight bias. Whatever. He also watched WNTW with me this morning. AND he slept for 2 hours so I could clean the house. He also did well in the car when we absolutely did NOT drop B off at the airport at 6 this morning.

I mean really? Cuteness??
And, I'm trying to ween him from the swaddle. He is revolting. So I put him in a sleep sack and just swaddled his arms... this is a slow process. Someone LOVES him some swaddle. Advice on that?

And this puppy dog loves him some Griffin

like twice as fast.

So I'm no mathematical genius (except that one time that I got a 90's on a stats test in college) but...

Yesterday I was at the pharmacy waiting to pick up a prescription and a lady was in front of me. She was saying that she had talked to her Dr. about them giving her 90 pills verses 30, and I quote, "Because it seems like the run out twice as fast."

Oh dear.

domo arigato, mr. roboto.

So Sunday Ben is heading to Japan. I guess I shouldn't announce that on the interwebs unless there are some crazies reading this. So, he's NOT going to Japan... he's just... in the shower and can't come to the phone.

Did I also mention Ben works on robots? So it's a ok to call him Mr. Roboto. Well, he may prefer Dr. Roboto. The only time he really gets called Dr. Black is when he gives his credit card to someone and in response they look at him and say, "You're a doctor?"

or that I don't get to go to Japan so we're having Sushi tonight?

Or that my child was TOTALLY more interested in the lady giving me a pedicure today than talking to me? He's one big flirt.

Or that I made an AWESOME gift for a family member for Christmas and am almost entirely done with shopping and I have my excel file for holiday cards printed and ready to go? (OCD, much? Damn. I love an excel file.)

Yes, I said cards. I'm sending them. It's huge people. All we had to do was have a baby and then I mail cards. Who knew? Guess I should have done this years ago...

Or that I spent at least 45 minutes begging for my Christmas present last night? Ben asked if I thought I really needed it. I said yes... he still didn't give it to me. I mean, kind of misleading to ask such a question.

Glitz and glam.

That's what my life is y'all. I went to pick up the cutest baby in the world this morning and thought, "you are soaking wet." This is a common sentiment in the mornings. I don't change him at night unless he's peed through his clothes or has a poopy diaper. These both happen a lot so for me to act like I don't change him at night is kind of ridiculous. I TRY not to though to enlist the "sleeping through the night" fiasco which is everyone's favorite question.

Order:

When are you getting married?

I do.

When are you having kids?

baby.

Is he sleeping through the night?

Eff off. No.

Anyway, back to the original post. SO I pick up baby and say to him "you are soaking wet." Then I realize my hand is on his back--which is not where you pee from. So, I stuck my hand in poo at 7 am. Awesome.

(PS. My doc confirmed that kids who sleep through the night at this age are the abnormal ones. So there.)