he ain't heavy.

He's my brotha.

2 weeks.

I've been writing your one week post in my head, but you'll be 2 weeks old tomorrow, and lets be honest... you don't do a whole lot more now than you did when you were 1 week old.  Except sleep less.

You have rocked our world... in a mostly, usually, awesome way.  Occasionally there is the missing of sleep, what have we done, 2 year old turning 3 year old out bursts that make me wonder.

You make crazy hilarious grunting noises... that sound just like our dog.  You also make a great number of faces.  serious face, are you kidding me face, i'm judging you face.  You smile when you're falling asleep.  it's such a great thing to see.  I like you happy.  I can't wait to invoke that smile.  It's better now, but you did HATE having your diaper changed.  Hated.  Hated hated.  G likes to help and have you sit beside him.  If you cry at all he is first to tell me to feed you or give you his lambie, "maybe dat would make him feel better?"  It usually does.  You want to eat every 2 seconds.  Literally.  Ok, maybe ever 1.5-2 hours which I'm going to say... is the same thing as 2 seconds.

I call you tiny.  because you are so so tiny.  I think you have a dimple in your cheek.  You are getting less and less "dark complected" by the day.  The dimple in your chin is perfect.  I love that your hairline looks like it's receding.. or as NeeNee said... it looks like your wig has fallen back.  sorry dude.

we love you.  we adore you.  we're so happy that your ours.

Stats.
7 lbs 15.7 oz--25% weight
20 in.--25% length
36 cm--50% head.

Things you didn't tell me.

I have a lot of posts in my head.  Like how I fired a nurse for the second time in the postpartum unit.  How my child had explosive poop during a photo shoot.  and M's first almost full week of life.  Funny things Griffin says.

But no one told me about how having a 2nd child makes you sad.  I had my first emotional response to that last night.  For the first time, G wanted dad to put him to bed.  Granted, this had already been decided--but heartache was immediate.  As were the tears.  And the needing to hold my "baby" which I'm not supposed to do for fear my uterus will fall out.  Something I couldn't stop myself from doing.  And when I was crying he wanted to know why I felt sad.  And "maybe I had just tripped on something?"  So I told him I did.  My guilt and sadness on not being his number one is large.  My sadness of his growing up is serious--and exciting--and conflicting.  No one told me about that part.  They only told me how your heart expands.  I guess part of that is the breaking part, too?

Or you are all liars.  Or  you have forgotten?  Or it's just one of those things that no one talks about?  Like hemroids?

I can't... I have to feed the baby.  or wait just a minute because ... whatever the reason.  IS KILLING ME.

There is the heart expanding stuff, too.  Don't get me wrong, but honestly, this part seems the hardest.  I don't think I have the right words for it.  And much how I couldn't pay as much attention to pregnancy #2 I don't love them the same.  I guess that's part of it, too?  There isn't time to cherish every single second of everything they do.  How I wish I could stop and do more immediately.  For both of them.

So yah... I'm probably being a little dramatic.  I blame the hormones.  And the extra laundry.  So cheers to the people who make this look so easy.  I aspire to be that.

Until then, I'll keep wondering why my tiny baby just slept 3+ hours during the day... and only in 1.5 hour intervals in the night.

Hopkins Meyer Black

Hopkins Meyer Black (Meyer) was born on March 15, 2013 at 10:30 in the morning.

Hopkins Meyer Black had no interest in acknowledging he would like to be born until 5:30 am.  I got up to potty and holy dear, wet the bed a little when I stood.  OMG THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING!  So I walked to the bathroom.  washed my face.  Put down a towel.  And woke up the Ben Black.

I'm having a baby today!  Was all I could think.  I should take one final picture of him on the inside.  On the inside where he has been snuggled away, growing like a weed, and all around making my life amazing.  As I've said before, I'm a weirdo who loves to be preggo.  (other than the times when it hurts or when I pee myself.  Noted.)  I called after hours.  I collected our things.  I changed and and put our sheets into sanitize.  I woke up my mom, who thank goodness was here, "just in case."  I thought that I should have put G to bed last night (mom guilt is immediate.)

We got to the hospital around 7.

Why yes, that IS a towel between my legs.  I'm classy, y'all.

My contractions were slow, and not very painful.  They asked if I'd be having an epidural.  I said yes.  Explained that I wanted to wait a bit.  Explained that I DID NOT WANT to be re-cathed post baby so I was nervous.  They checked me.  We made it to our room around 8:15.  Contractions about 5 mins apart.  I explained to my nurses how I was going to drop the F bomb like it was hot this time.  We all laughed.  chatted.  they told me that if I want an epidural, just to keep in mind that it takes about 15 mins to pump me with fluid before they can insert it... so think ahead.

I'm good.  I'm not imagining my "rosebud" opening like the hypno-birth book said, but I try to imagine my hips spreading event further apart than they already are.  Not so bad.  9 am "are you ready?"  Nah.  I'm good.  Jokes.  Laughter.

9:30.  How are you doing?  I'm great.  Ok, so we are going to have you kind of change positions to your side.  We think you're laying too flat.  Fine fine.

9:45.  ummm Maybe I want to get ready for the ep's?  should I?  shouldn't I?  Uh... sure, lets at least get started on the fluids.  this is starting to hurt some.

9:50 CANNOT STAND IT.  WHERE IS MY EPIDURAL.  WHEN CAN I HAVE IT?

9:55 SOMEONE SAVE ME.  JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL. (My nurse:  Let me check you.  on phone I NEED ANOTHER NURSE.  SOMEONE GET ANOTHER NURSE.  I NEED A DOCTOR.  GET A DOCTOR NOW.)

10 Lady below steps in and says LOOK AT ME.  You focus on me right now.  Me:  I can't.  I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THIS (meaning sans drugs.)

10:15 Welcome, Baby Meyer.

10:20... I forgot to say F.

We are in love.  We also overheard the ped's checking him out announce that he didn't have any "accessory nipples."  Which made me giggle.  So in case you were wondering... just 2.

Never would I have imagined his birth story going that way.  But then again, never could I have imagined his tiny little self.  He is perfect.  And jaundiced... so you know, tan :)  We love him.  Griffin loves him.  And this is just day 1.  Welcome to the world, Baby Meyer.