Without a song or a dance what are we?

SO yesterday was kind of amazing in the fact that we went to see Mamma Mia last minute (complete with a glass of prosecco.) I am sure that I have mentioned my love affair with a good musical before--but one FILLED with back up dancers? Yes, please! It was wonderful. I think I missed my calling. I'm sure someone is hiring a 20 something back up dancer with no formal experience, right? Next on the list is Wicked. I have not caught the Wicked virus, but I'm sure within days I will download and learn all songs.

In other news... I almost just busted into tears at work. Why? Um, well our AC has been not working for about a week now. Well, they were FINALLY able to send someone today... who of course said that now he has to order the parts so that they can fix it later in the week. Seriously? If you are an AC person do you not carry parts? Is this your scheme? Make people realize how miserable their lives are when they sweat for no reason? I do not like to sweat simply because I am sitting still. This has caused a dramatic emotional response within me. All I wanna know... what's the name of the game?

Did I mention that it is, on average, the temperature of the sun in Austin lately?

So I say thank you for the music... for giving it to meeeeeeeeeeeeeee

It's not fair.

So it isn't fair that Fuddrucker's has made an attempt on my life this week. Seriously, can food poisining last all week? It's that are my sarcoidosis. One can never be sure of such things. Eitherway--I'm still not right.

Anyway, so this weekend we have 10 miles. MY sweet husband has offered to man my aid station so I can run with the team, which I'm HIGHLY thankful for (because you may recall my lack of initiative in running long distances when presented to do them alone.)

We have also planned a trip to float the river Saturady when we're done. Most of my friends have had work stuff bubble up and so aren't able to go... which means we are going to go with Ben's friends. They are fun but a lot younger--not that this matters is friendship, but it matters in swimsuitability. One of the guys is dating a girl in college. This is not fair. I mean, not that I want to date a girl in college, but more that I do not EVER need to be wearing a swimsuit next to someone who is in college. It just isn't fair for me... or for her to know the future of her body.

I bought this super cute one piece suit this year. Ben judges. I wore it to the pool the other night and mentioned wearing it on the river. I was told it is not river appropriate.

So, how many beers does it take for me to NOT care about this? I'm thinking more than is safe. YAY one piece with shorts over it!

OH Webmd

how you tell me how deathly ill I am... and often you tell me I'm pregnant based on symptoms (seriously, like if I stub my toe.. probably knocked up. Not that I check for symptoms for stubbed toes, but you get my point.)

Today I have--

sarcoidosis (Totally HOUSE worth)
Chronic fatigue syndrome
and moderate adhd

Oh, Amanda Black... you are crazy.

how did I get here?

I mean this both figuratively and metaphorically.

I think I'm having one of "those days." I think "those days" are typically reserved for Monday and NOT for Thursday. I'm not sure what to blame for my current state of unawareness. I didn't sleep well last night. For some reason our air conditioning (that we had to have fixed last year because it wasn't working) is again not up to speed. I mean, when it's 105 out during the day the inside of a house can get pretty warm. Then there is the snoring. I will not say who this rumbling belongs to, but I will let you know, that I cannot sleep. Then there is the fact that I woke up at 5:15 this AM for track. At that point I was just kind of in a daze and not noticing my current state of mood. I ran. I came home. Slowly I became scattered.

I then started thinking about WHY. Why lately have I had ridiculous headaches (most likely, whatever pollen is currently in the air.) Why do all of my friends seem to have serious stuff going on in their lives? Growing up sucks. I'm almost 30. What am I doing with my life? Why am I always tired? Why the f is it so hot in here? How am I going to blow dry my hair if I'm still sweating and can't cool off? We don't have food for lunch. Why is my dog throwing herself at our window? Can I take today off? no, I have a meeting this afternoon. Can I be home at some point to talk with the AC person? Probably not. I wonder if the air conditioning at work is back on (it isn't, ps.) Why is my hair a pathetic mess? I guess I'll put a bobby pin in it. WHOA, I look like I'm a cast member of 90210 the early years. Crap, I need to leave if I want a soy chai (my bonus on Thursday mornings.)

So I go driving and sit at a light only to realize I actually need to turn to get to starbucks. I just feel like I'm going through the motions and somehow getting to where I'm going but my mind isn't there. I feel like it hasn't been for a while. Is it that I'm just not good enough for my job? This is my current musing. That and I'd like just a couple of days off to do nothing. I'd like to just be--I don't have to go anywhere. I can run if I want. I don't need to clean my house (because my father in law is coming tonight and this hasn't yet been done.) I'm tired. I feel like I'm tired all the time. How did I get here? How can I even think about having children when I don't feel like I even have time for myself?

When did I grow up? When did 30 start to loom so heavily? Why is it that I could fall asleep at my desk right now? How did I get to work today?

Do not woo me with your sno-cones.

SO, on Tuesdays I typically have a hill workout. However, Fuddruckers apparently tried to make me meet my demise yesterday and so I decided to run at home.. for proximity to said home. I also then was excited because I remembered we had gotten a note about a block party in our 'hood. Awesome. Yay. This way we can meet other young people. The flyer mentions bringing your drinks, and your lawn chair, there is a blow up device for the kids (lots of kids around) and a henna artist (random. last interaction with a henna artist was from a night deemed "the night of poor decisions.") Anyway, so I go run, Ben mixes me up a tasty treat we walk down and get a hotdog (on white bread... don't know the last time I had this.) Then a woman starts talking to me and BAM. I got Emerilled. Ok, not at all... but I realized...

THIS IS A CHURCH RECRUITMENT EVENT.

OMG.

We did meet one other couple that lives about 5 houses down from us. They brought a 6 pack. Everyone else had water.

We got out of there right before they were closing things down for fear of a group prayer. (please, let me be clear, I realize I have a Master of Divinity, and I realize that I Co-Direct a church camp, and I realize I'm religious... but wow. Not this kind.)

Not the kind that has on their website (where I stalked them this AM) that because we are human we are liars, thieves, and adulterers and the only consequence for us is HELL (all caps) and that God doesn't want us to go there forever. SO I'm wondering--is this a part time gig? Where do you go the rest of the time? What about spending every other weekend there and then the decided upon holidays? Is there an inclement weather policy?

It also says that the chance of the big bang theory being true is the same as clearing out your garage and waiting 10 years and finding a Mercedes.

Also, our community must be filled with heathens because these people are also holding a dog fair at our big community center with the tennis courts, pool, running area etc. NO WHERE does it mention that this is being hosted by a creepy church--or any church at all for that matter. I think this is misleading. Almost as misleading as when I bought mascara the other day only to find out that it was blue.

SO woo me with your sno-cones. Give me some fattening food. Try to give me a bottled water. I will take these things and then slowly judge you publicly for your beliefs.

The Statue of Liberty, Firemen, and...

oil change guys.

I'm sure you may have thought this would be a political post, but it's not.

It is a message to companies around the world--or, more specifically, in my traveling area here in Austin. Why oh why do you make employees stand on the road in a statue of liberty costume, or dressed as a fireman, or holding an oil change sign. It's hot. They look ridiculous. Just because they are waving at me I am not more inclined to buy insurance through you, eat your sandwich, or get my oil changed.

Instead I just shake my head in dismay, wave, and say a thank you that I do not have to do that.

It's an epidemic.

We have a roly poly epidemic at work. I'm not entirely sure of the roly poly's technical name. Only that we used to sit on my grandparents astro-turf covered porch and play with them... and then perhaps release them into their house. We were evil vile children. This isn't true, but we had cousins who lead us astray. Please note that I do my best to not touch roly poly's at work--ever. They weird me out. Bigger question perplexing me right now--are they at all related to armadillo's or popples? I'm thinking more likely they are akin to popples. Don't hold me to this though.

Another issue--Do werther's originals make my ass look fat? The answer. Yes. We have these candies at work and I love them. I think they are delightful and tasty and they remind me of my Nanny's purse. Well, werther's and double mint gum. (If you are wanting to know what my mom's purse reminds me of... 1. luggage because it's huge 2. halls lemon cough drops 3. various assortments of gum). SO, I sit here daily--eating at least 4 werther's a day. AND, I've noticed that in the last say 3 months I've gained a lot of weight. I did not know that hard old people candies were of the devil. (Maybe I like them because of my old lady skin disease?)

And finally, Ben has done something silly. Finally he falls into the category in which I fall daily. Times when I ask if onions grow on trees, fly into the wrong airport, ask if the bats take weekends off etc etc etc. This weekend, after much debate about outfits (for me, of course) we went to dallas only to find that the reunion was the weekend before. oops. I have laughed and laughed but only because I find joy in others humility (because it's finally not my own.) It turned into a great weekend of unexpected visits.

And somehow.. it's only 10:30 on tuesday morning and I'm thinking I need a nap.

It has been brought to my attention

That my link to my running blog was not working. But, a lovely person let me know (and then surprise donated!)

SO it's up and working!

So many things to laugh about from the weekend, but I have not been cleared for embarrassment yet.

bla bla blech

Ever get in one of those moods where EVERYTHING is annoying you? I'm there. Now. I really feel like a good massage and a nap would fix everything, but I don't seem to have time for a nap or flow for a massage.

Irritation #1--I don't know what to wear tomorrow night. This is compounded by the fact that I hate packing. Therefore, I have to sit here and think about what my options are and what is appropriate. Personally, I feel I should take the morning off and fix this problem by going shopping. (which, could in turn, further annoy me because I won't be able to find what I'm looking for because I'm not sure what I'm looking for.)

2. Maggie woke me up 30 minutes before my alarm went off because she needed to go outside. YAY good dog! Then she proceeded sit outside of our window and wine and randomly jump up and press her paws against said window--annoying and loud. Then, the husband was snoring. Then, I laid there and thought about how I hated my life at that point in time. (not really, but I'm being dramatic.)

3. I hate cleaning the house. (This is also not true--I get great satisfaction when it's done. I also hate to leave the house to go out of town without our house being cleaned, sheets changed, laundry done etc.) I've cleaned--dusted, laundered, mopped, swept etc etc 2x this week. I despise dog hair.

4. I hate sitting in a car. Yes, the drive from here to Dallas is short--I don't like it. I also do not enjoy 35 on a Friday afternoon and creates in me a need to get a light saber to quickly disintegrate urge people out of my way.

5. I need to find time to run 9 miles this weekend. I considered doing it this AM, but didn't get up. I NEED to get up and do it tomorrow morning, but will be hanging out with friends tonight. I require much sleep.

6. I went to leave this morning and there was a jeep parked in the middle of the drive way. bug.

7. What I really need is a red tent right now and to lose 10 lbs.

My red tent...

In my red tent there are some requirements.
1. You do not go to work when in the red tent.
2. This red tent has air conditioning.
3. There is no straw.
4. You must be able to eat 5 cookies a day to be in my tent.
5. All pants will be elastic.
6. Someone will wash my hair for me at any point in time I desire. You know, the goooood kind of wash with the head massage.
7. there will be a pedicure-ist.
8. Someone will tell me I'm pretty and hand me a glass of wine.
9. creme brulee.
10. I can online shop for whatever I want.
11. Clinton Kelly will sit around and gossip with me (ps. He's always on my side and thinks I'm freakin' fabulous.)
12. No screaming children
13. Other things I decide at any point in time will be there--because it's my red tent.

I like cookies, but I don't like cake.

Addiction?

So I went home from work yesterday because I didn't feel well and maybe stopped and bought 3 pairs of shoes on the way.

(we'll know asap if Ben reads this amazing work of literary art.)

You see... it's B's 10 year reunion this Saturday. We will be heading to Dallas where I will run my 9 miles at White Rock with Kelly Clarkson all by myself. Hopefully this will happen. Currently the goal is to wake up before it is 8 bagillion degrees, so around 3 AM and get this over with so that I can eat Gloria's without feeling guilt and shame.

So back to my original statement. I needed the shoes. I haven't bought black heels in approximately 5 years--no lie. Ok, I bought one pair for a friends wedding but as they were of the devil I only wore them a handful of times before they met their demise (sitting in our garage suffering the texas heat.) Anyway so luck of luck, wonder of wonders, I found a pair of cole haan's on clearance yesterday for only $50. I'm sure that because they were originally $175 they should be the most comfortable shoes I've ever worn. Granted, I felt this way about the chaco's I bought for Italy only to find that my $15 target sandals were more comfy for walking. Anywhoo....

I also got this super cute top at Anthropologie with orange embroidery on the puffy sleeves and I found orange Michael Kors flats that match perfectly. I needed them. I also found a pair of bedazzled steve maddens for $13. I needed them out of sheer bedazzled glory. I think that because of the sparkle that radiates from them I will look 20 lbs lighter and wouldn't a husband want a wife to feel her best? I mean, if I've learned anything from the Real Housewives of New Jersey (other than that people in Jersey are crazy with fake bubbies) it's that a husband should always say, "Happy wife. Happy life."

And, because you asked. Yes, I do feel much better today.

If not me, then who?

If not now... then when?

I'm sure you all know that I'm training to run another marathon (or half... I will not commit currently. I'm still overwhelmed at how far 26.2 miles is.) Either way, the distance doesn't matter. I know that I am a little crazy for doing my 3rd TNT event in 3 years--but people have been known to do many many more. I'm on a mission--relentless for a cure to blood cancers. As part of my training, though essential, the reason I do this is to raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. Every dollar of donation counts $5, $10, $25, $50, $200,000.

SO, as I am beginning to work my self out (aka rid myself of the lbs. I've gained since I STOPPED training in January and going to core classes that make me feel like I've never worked out in my life) I'm also focused on raising funds. I believe in this cause. I believe it makes a difference because I hear the personal differences it makes. I listen to the people with whom I run those that just wanted to get in shape, but then met our honored heroes, those who heard that our training program is amazing and when they started fundraising people came out with tons of stories about how leukemia had affected their lives, those who run for their children, their husbands, their moms. I've met them all in the last month. I meet them all every season. This is why we run. This is why I put myself through this training in the HEAT of summer in Texas, nonetheless--because I can. I can do this, but only with your help and support.

SO please visit my website and you can follow my other blog where I talk about the trials and tribulations I encounter with all this craze.

Thanks!

I like pretty things

and I like for them to be affordable. Actually, I typically like the things that are NOT affordable and then have to stalk them until they go on sale OR I find them at the Maxx... at which point I must purchase them because it is a really good deal and I'm actually saving money.

Anyway, This blog--Fantabulously Frugal, EVERY DAY posts amazing things that are deals. My kinda love. They also have an awesome, Oprah style giveaway today--of Favorite things! You should check it out and fall in love the way I have :)
http://http://www.fantabulouslyfrugal.com/2009/06/favorite-things-giveaway-bonanza.html

120, no maybe I lost some, maybe 115?

So I went to the doctor today and they took some of my blood. I do not like this event--at all. I've gotten much better. I no longer have to lie down when they do it. Big steps people Big steps!

Anywho, I should have gone with my instincts when the first "woman" (term used loosely here because I SWEAR she was only 16) said, "I'm a student. Is it ok?" I should have said... um no, indeed it is not. SO, she stuck me and a. It hurt. B. She got NOTHING.
Instead I told her, "Is it ok that I'm a wimp?" She thought I was being funny. I wasn't.

So, this other girl came in because first "lady" said, "When I mess up, I always have to call on Crystal." (ACK! How often do you mess up? I mean, she is a student and has to learn somehow, so I really do forgive her and understand... less so when it is my arm.) So here comes Crystal (who apologized for "being all up on me") and got enough in one vile but the arm refused to participate for the other one so they went BACK to the original arm.

Have I mentioned how I do not enjoy this?

I also liked that instead of weighing me they just asked. Apparently the weight I gave them was realistic. Next time I'm going to say 120 (which is a blatant lie) and just see what happens. I mean, do they go with it? Write "delusional" on your file? Say, never mind lets weigh you?

Test. This is only a test.