SO yesterday in midst of my child shaking his head and saying "no" to every. single. thing. I asked. I took him outside (his favorite place). Then, I noticed a package at the door. DANG IT. Not a present for me.
*Side note--anytime we open our mailbox or have a package at the door I'm under some sort of false security that someone has sent me a present. 99% of the time this is not the case. Ben shakes his head when I ask him every day if there was a present for me in the mail.
Anywho, gift was not for me so I left it there. After watching G try desperately to pick it up. Admit defeat and then go back to whining and wanting up. down. up. no. no no no no no.
The Dr. Ben Black arrived home last night and clearly G$ was all grins and giggles and shiz. cutest kid ever. I declare I must get out of the house. To target. Alone. (after Ben suggests we take G to the grocery store at which point I refuse and say he can happily take him alone, but I refuse to take him in public for fear of the deathglare that we would clearly get as he shrieked his way through the store wanting to eat everything, have me hold him, and get a new balloon. So they played in the car. I went to target.
I come home to a new contraption (the gift) on the counter. Old dusty cooking lights hastily pushed to the side. Dog treat container? sorry bitches, doneso. All forrrrrrrrrrr....... a vacuum sealer for meat. Oh the joy. Oh the excitement. Oh the exclamations of "watch this!" I am adequately impressed (sadly defeated by no gifts for me) and go to catch up with Chelsea Handler on the couch only to find..... a package of previously vacuum sealed gold fish. "Hey, I had to start with something."
Later in the evening while catching up with the finest nerds on the Big Bang Theory I freak out because I think there is an ugly insect on my arm... then calmly say, "Oh... wait, it's just my arm."
All this to say there was a lot of head shaking going on in the Casa de Negra yesterday.