Mom Confessions.

1. I don't love Bono. I thought I'd just go ahead and start with something offensive. 2. Today I showered for the first time since Friday. 3. I planned on doing that yesterday, but I had my first solo trip with both kids to visit the fams. An long ass trip in a car. A whole gaggle of children (5). 2 of which are mine, but really, they all look alike so who can really decipher one from the other. So Saturday involved some tractor rides, some watching Ell play soccer, some rain, some playing in the mud, some getting stuck in a bed (so so so sorry I didn't take a picture of this) and a tiny baby who refused to sleep. And finally, a decent buzz. Oh. and sleeping with my 3 year old all weekend. 3. I like love Ellen. 4. Tonight as I was putting the little one to bed. The one who still collects food in his neck folds. The one who smells like expensive baby products and sleeps in footy pj's. The one who I am bound and determined to make a good sleeper. So I lay him down awake. Then I lay on the floor next to the crib. In the dark. Scrolling through instagram as I listen to Ben attempt to corral the wild one. Then... I lay there until it dies down and go downstairs to catch up with Ellen. Could I be a more terrible mom? What are your mom confessions? What have you done to cause your child therapy lately?

Confessions.

I've never owned a library card. Unless you count going to elementary school or having a school ID in college or grad school. My friend Amy and I would go study (or something?) at the "new library" at Emory because it looked totally ivy league... aka, like it was on Dawson's Creek. Which... our love for that was ranked pretty high. Anyway, today I'm taking G$ to get a library card. Which I think he will adore. Mostly because it's HIS.

Ok mostly he found the kiddie computers and obsessed about them. And told some moms that he smelled like bagels. And that it was hard to wait sometimes. Thankfully they found him cute.

He also found some random book called the not so quiet night (or something) about the birth of Jesus. I started reading it to him when he told me I was being too loud. All I could think was that it must have ended with Mary screaming because they didn't have epidurals back then.

We didn't get that one. FYI.

In the kitchen.

I've posted before about my undying love for cereal and wine when ben is out of town. Last night I dined on a sammich. I spell it that way because the word sandwich has baffled me for years. I don't make G eat such things. I make him healthy stuff (like chic fil a). By healthy, I mean that we went in and he got to play on the play ground. Anyway, we came home, rode bikes, etc. Kids are in bed. Yesssss I don't have to follow a meal plan I can have another sammich. Effffff we are out of bread. I actually have to make something. For myself. And it turned out guuuuuud. Recipe--Shiz I through together out of the fridge. Sausage all pan cooked up. Cooked. Then towards the end of cooking I added some chopped up cremini's. Cooked pasta in a separate pan. Tossed out the majority of the water. Added about 1/2 bottle of crushed tom's (tomatoes... another word I hate to type) Put in the remainder of our goat cheese. Put in the sausage and mushrooms. Put in some peas. Put in some cream cheese. What else do I have? Kale. Chopped up some dino kale. What else do I have? Tossed in some basil. TASTY. Also, added--3 roman cokes. (I make them weak. I think I should probably have 4.)

6 months old. HMB.

So 6 months old has been this kind of time warp crazy mom brain. I mean at 6 months he is PRACTICALLY ONE. Which means he is almost 5 and leaving me for kindergarten. Which means soon he will GO TO COLLEGE AND LEAVE ME FOREVER. 6 months. My little nugget is 6 months old (as of yesterday.) he is a helmet wearer--except when he isn't. You know, like when he's sleeping. Because it makes him not sleep. Not sure what to do about that. He rolls. he smiles. He BOUNCES. I try to get him to sit up, but he wants to stand and bounce. Michelle Obama arms here I come. He talks. As of yesterday he talks a LOT. babble babble babble. His new trick (one trick pony) is to say ahhhh as I pat his mouth. He thinks it's great. He grabs my hands and puts them to his mouth (in a way that's different than when he tries to eat them.) He has zero teeth. We've tried pears (gross face), sweet potatoes (meh face) and oatmeal (breastmilk on a spoon.) Thinking of going to the baby lead weaning approach. TBD. Don't really see how that's easier, but whatever. You don't sit up. I keep thinking surely it's coming. You keep thinking "why the hell do you keep trying to make me sit up." You have sensitive skin. A helmet. Tubes. ER stays. All in 6 months. Hello high maintenance sweetest child. Other than super talking that he started the minute he turned 6 months was that last night he cried real tears for the first time. SADDEST MOMENT EVER. Especially when I couldn't get to them because of his little helmet (which I promptly removed.) You love your brother now (thankfully.) The feeling is mutual. You think he is hilarious. Little HMB. We love you. Helmet head. stats Weight 16.6 lbs (40%) Height 26.5" (45%) Head Circumference 44.5" (80%) big head.

HMB 5 months. (one month and one day late. oopsy.)

I just had to do a little checkeroo to see if I had posted a 5 month post. Which lets be honest... I haven't. Because I have abandoned this blog like skinny jeans. (Dear teenage boys, please abandon skinny jeans.) Anywho... HMB will be 6 months old next week so I better get a start on it, right? Oh, little Meyer. My happiest baby on the block, you are the most patient baby ever. Which is great because your 3 year old (very very very 3 year old) brother isn't. You have apparently had fluid on your ears for your entire life and haven't complained about it once. You got tubes last week and cried inconsolably for a little while and then went back to happy. You sleep pretty well. You still wake up once or twice a night. You laugh. Lots. You smile. At everyone. You have started to think that your big brudder is pretty funny. You roll from back to front like a champ (once we got those pesky tubes), but seem to have forgotten that you can also roll the other way. Boys. You never poop. You put everything in your mouth. You have zero teeth and a really fuzzy head. Your baby mullet patch is still holding strong. Your hair is coming in very blonde. You don't like to be under a nursing cover. No one puts baby in a corner. If there is other stuff going on you'd rather not eat and just observe. You occasionally squawk like a dinosaur? It's precious. You rarely get bathed because who has the time? You never poop. Except when you do. You need to sleep in a sleep sack and can't get settled if you aren't. Your feet are just THAT fascinating. You pat me on the arm and back when you are excited to see me. You kind of "pinch" me when you nurse. I have a bruise. Bruiser. Maybe we'll add that to your list of nicknames. Tiny. Chunks. Spit up king. Have I mentioned you still spit up. A lot? FYI. I'm over that part. The rest of you can stay this way forever. You LOVE to jump in the jumper. Love. And you have obviously decided it's time for my arms to get in shape because you want me to bounce you, too. You don't sit up by yourself yet (insert mom concern that you are delayed.) You do well in the car. You sweat like a beast (your dad.) You love the dogs and want to grab them. You went on your first vacation with the fam to Port A. You felt meh about it. Your brother loves you in a semi-obsessive and fierce way. He wants to be on you or in your face or "helping" almost always. It's the sweetest. Unless he doesn't. Then he wants me to put you in your bed. He's 3, Meyer. He can't help it. I can't believe you are 5 months old. I both feel like that is REALLY new and like I can't really imagine life without your sweetness or like you haven't been here for always. I also can't believe you are almost 6 months old (perk of having a lazy ass mom who forgets to post). Which makes me kind of panicky and hand flappy. Time to get on planning your first birthday party. Which will be on your actual birthday, March 15 2014. Way to plan that one, dude. To my little Hopkins Meyer Black. I love you. I want to snuggle you always. And have quiet time with you. But alas, you came second. (more pictures coming soon. They are waiting to escape the camera.)

Heat wave--aka when I want to hate everyone

Our air conditioning went out this year. again. For the 5th time in our 6 years. You know, that AC that we had replaced last summer? Yah... that one. It was getting hot. Steamy. Ben always thinks this is in my head. Much like my extreme mommy hearing and ability to smell he thinks it's just an additional sense. You know, until i point out that it's like 90 degrees in our house and that I'm sweating my face off. It took them TWO WEEKS to get it fixed. Lemme tell ya... my love of individuals is directly related to how hot I am. Aka, no surprise third baby. Thankfully we have neighbors who have a portable ac they let us borrow and we bought 2 window units. And we went on vacay for some days. At which point we believed we were coming home to an amazingly cooled house. Not so much. because they forgot to order the part. Um, what the F? If I could punch those people in the neck I would. Anyway, if you want me to like you... to love you... give me air conditioning. give me airconditioning. diamonds. a baby not sleeping in my bathroom. a house cleaner. etc etc. First world problems.

Family vacay 2013

6 adults and 5 children 4 and under. That may sound like the beginning of a joke. It’s also known as family vacay 2013. We had a lot of celebrating to do over Labor day. My dad turned 66, Kellen turned 1 and my mom was celebrating her 65. So why not embark on a crazy journey to the Texas coast. I told my sister this would either be fun, or a total shit show. turns out, I was wrong. It was both. We headed to Port Aransas, TX. A kitschy little coastal town. We were .5 miles from the beach in this awesome little cottage that also had a pool to which our monitors would reach. Not that our kids were sleeping. It was fun to pretend, though. Each family had their own room, and the bigger kids had a room with bunk beds. Hence the veritable shit show of theatrics anytime they were supposed to be sleeping. Me loudly and firmly telling them to get in bed, stop turning on and off the lights, lay down, etc over the monitor worked for approximately 3 seconds before they were back at it. Crazy. The kids are crazy. It was fun. We ate. We drank. We beached. The boys fished. No one vomited. No child was sunburned. We were attacked by the biggest mosquito’s ever. We photo’d. We didn’t rest. We nearly lost a child at the beach. We had time outs. We had tears. We had sharing. We had sweet moments. We have a lot of laundry. We had a lot of packing up to do. We had a lot of fun. Then we had really long trips home that left everyone exhausted. Prepare for photo overload. this isn't even half. lawsy.