Thursday, September 11, 2008

Distance makes the heart grow fonder?

So, I was going to write about how we now have a fully functioning air conditioner for the first time in like 3 months. Which, ps, is a miracle--or not a miracle because we paid for it. SO it's like an old timey miracle where people paid the priests for their fams to get out of pergatory. Something like that. I'm sure it's warm and uncomfortable there similar to the death trap that was our house. Our poor dogs walked around panting. I sat sweating. Ben sat... drowning in sweat. I guess our bodies learned somewhat to adapt because any simbalence of normal air conditioning sent me into a shivering mess. I like that mess... at least it was not a hot tranny mess.

Anyway, I said I wasn't going to write about that BECAUSE.... It's September 11, 2008. On September 11, 2001 I was a senior in college. I lived in an apartment in Dallas--the village--with my roommate Carrie. Oh the shinanigans. Her mom called us that morning to wake us up to turn on the news. Then, in that instant, we joined the entire world in staring blankly into a screen watching the same scenes replay before us. I hadn't done this since I was 6 years old and we watched and re-watched, and then watched the punky brewster episode about the Challenger. Devastation. How do we learn to deal with the tragedy? Are we equipped? Yes and no. I think our downfall, other than non mentioned presidential candidates and their clan, is that we try to "fix" it. In all actuality sitting through the grief, leaning on one another, being present in the pain, is the way in which we learn to deal--and hopefully not dwell. There is no time limit. How many times have you been in a disasterous place, or even, just a random upsetting time and you just want someone to listen and not offer advice, but they want to "fix it"? My mom is a perfect example. But then again, I suppose that proves her love towards me--because in my acts of love, I also do not want those whom I love to feel the pain and dispair that is associated with loss. I think as humankind, this is our nature, and probably nurture. In my opinion, is is the proof that we are indeed created in the Image. We have been created out of a love that then sits and resides, and resonates. We celebrate together in our joys, but we join in resilience in our sorrows. This is where we see the Divine in the faces and embraces of one another. But where is that Presence, and where is that face for those whom feel the effects such as 9/11? I can't speak for them, but I do hope they see it not in the history books, not on Oprah, but in the way we have embraced this as our lives and we have sat, been present, and then elarned to deal. I have friends whose anniversary is September 11. I first thought... yikes-o. However, Peter Seeger (ok, and maybe Ecclesiastes) taught us to turn turn turn. Ok, perhaps those are the biblical words, but I bet you're now singing it!

I know I don't typically write much about my faith, and simply judge the conservies for theirs, and I'm sure Ill be judged solidly for this. That's ok. Today is a day to grieve. Today is a day to celebrate. Today is a day I remember staring at the tv. Today is the day that all SMU classes were cancelled beacuse we couldn't leave our houses... And today is the anniversary of going to meet my friend Dave at Jason's Deli to discuss going to seminary. Today is a historical day. Today is our past. Today, is our present, and tomorrow is our future. A time to build up, a time to break down...a time for every matter under heaven.

1 comment:

Catherine said...

Amanda, that was a lovely post. It's amazing, but I don't think I've ever heard you say so much about faith or theology, and I'm so glad you did here.