Thursday, September 25, 2008

If I have learned anything from SVU...

Yes. I watch L&O... another reason I'm old.

Moving on. SO last night, I was in bed (at 10:30, but I can blame this on the bottle of wine we shared at sushi) and my mom called me. She had just seen somethinig on the news that I HAD to go see. So, I have grown up in a small town church in the UMC and actually am still a member there, though I've been gone for 10 years. Yah, I know... that should be changed. Anyway, neither here nor there in this sitch. So, in the UMC our pastors move. Their current one has been there for 2 years. He's not on my list of topics for the day, though. The PREVIOUS one, the one I knwe as a counselor at senior high camp while a high school student, the one who came to the church with his boring wife and 2 unruly, yet adorable children, the one who for the last 2 years has been at another church, adopted a foreign daughter, and been involved in a group process with TMF.... has been arrested on charges of child pornography. What? Channel 8 says on suspicions of... but they have pretty documented info.

SVU language--um, he's been on some chat room and isn't smart enough to change his email addres and the rather attractive female investigator has been pretending to be either a. into it as well or b. the child.

Real life--he is being arraigned today and I suppose that this will provide more information for the general public.

I am distressed and disturbed. I mean, yes, I watch all types of Law and Order and yes I know taht there is also infedelity, I know that people kill people, and I know that people steal, but I don't KNOW it. Imean, I do. I'm not completely niave. These things just do not typically happen in my world (well, except my con-cousin... different posting all together. Probably one that involves him telling my mom when she asked why he is in jail, "I steal cars. That's what I do.") Anyway... back to this topsyturvy world.

UM WHAT? A. the pic they have of him online is totally creepster. B. They arrested him AT the church. I think that's kind of crap, but whatevs.

Kind of lucky/unlucky for him... the church is rallying behind him. They can't believe it's true.. and hopefully it isn't. But, in their rallyng behind him and it is true... this is devastation. Devastation anyawy because it's happening, but also because hope, faith, and trust have been broken. I believe that we are all created to be good. I don't believe in hell, (no stick me with the theologians who believe in the void... one in particular whom I couldn't get through systematics wtihout.) Dang you free will. Dang you choice. Dang you who are created in the Imago Dei and also have mental discrepencies that hurt so many more than yourself. I pray this isn't true. but in reality, when their is substantial evidence, it probably is. It has yet to be determined if he was viewing this or creating it. Ick. Either way, Ick.

So here we sit in the despair. He were sit in the time of wait. The time when there is still hope for the part of the world that we've created in our minds to be true. Here is the time where we sit with that... and in the part of the world that we fear to be true. Here we sit in our selfishness--How does this affect me and my faith? Here we sit in the protection of others--What about his children? What about his wife? What about every person who has ever trusted him as a fearless leader?

Here we also begin to wrestle with the image of a Reverend. We have expectations of their call, of their morality, of their ability to protect and control situations. Here is when we begin to recognize that people are people. People are not perfect--even pastors. Here we begin to wonder, as a congregation as humankind, if we create so much pressure for those we hold in leadership positions that they simply can't make it. No, I'm not saying this is anyone elses fault. I'm saying we need to care for everyone... everyone needs someone to care for them and to not just be caring for others.

I'm not quite sure how to end this post.... I'm not sure why I am even writing about it. I suppose it is a deep sadness that I feel for the world. Ben and I discussed that there are so many positions within the church/social work arena for which I would be good... but it would ruin my life because I can't handle it. I dont' think I'd lose my view of God in others. I just have hypochondria (I have had many many illnesses not limited to avian flu, west nile, ebola, ecoli, and the chicken pox--that one is real) ... and sympathetic hypchondria to be exact. I ache with others. I'm a sympathetic cryer. This is me--I view myself as a general emotions in check, don't show a lot, but then when deeply pained others or others whom I deeply care for are hurt, it's all on.

Ok. I have to stop writing. I have to keep my internet on full alert of any more information regarding this situation. I have to go back to work...

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