Shit just got real.

I probably say that a lot... in my head.  Honestly, though, shit just got real.  My Uncle passed away in his sleep on Monday morning.  You know when you get a phone call at 7 am it's never good.  Basically ever.  Unless you have a friend who has just had a baby and has lost all track of time and is beyond her mind tired.  What?  no?  didn't happen to you?  It did to me.  Whatevs.

My Uncle has had soooooooooo many health problems, from as long as I remember.  However, it just doesn't seem real yet.  On Friday we will have his memorial service.  On Friday we will remember the man who had a house with a pool.  Who I begged to go to probably everyday of my life from age 6-....... a lot older.  My best friend and I spent MANY a summer afternoon there through our senior year.  A man who loved him some cologne.  Loved rugby.  Was in the rodeo.  Had a corvette.  Had a motorcycle that I was too scared to ride.  Had a camo spray painted fridge in his garage.  Got an earring when he got older.  Looked exactly like my grandfather with age.  And took some of the most fantastic photographs ever.

I am sad.  I'm sad because it also makes life a little more real.  Sad because I've never known life when this person wasn't alive.  There are a lot of details surrounding this--like my Aunt, who has dibilitating MS who sleeps in a hospital bed, and has a live in nurse.  All of it is sad.  All of it is tragic.

All of it is a little too real.