Monday, July 30, 2012

She's a cold hearted snake.


Today I found myself googling something like "my toddler kicks me every effing time I change his diaper and it makes me want to beat him (but I don't) and then he smiles really big and says chorry, mommy.  WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?"  That is a loose interpretation.  And yes, he says "mommy" now.  It started the second he turned 2.  I liked mama.  Whatever.

SO people suggest ignoring him.  Or using the changing pad clasps.  Um, as if that is going to do anything.

So tonight when he did it (to Ben) for the 100 millionth time, you know what I did?

I took away stories.

HE LOST HIS SHIT.  So remember my miracle child from this morning?  Yah, I just added one more year of therapy because I stole his childhood.  I mean, he was basically yelling, "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ME.  You hate literature.  You are basically a book burner.  I want my real mom.  She would be nicer."  Only it came out "STORIES MOMMY!  I WANT STORIES.  woienaioeiaha HIGH PITCHED SCREAMING."

Life ruined.


Oh, I hear you buddy, but I've got some books to burn.  side note.  I do not in fact burn books.  I love books.  I hate punishing my child, but kind of love that taking away stories is this huge devastating event.  I'm an evil mom.  with rules.

Heidi, you gotta fix for that one?

5 comments:

CDS said...

i may have peed a little...

Meg said...

i gotta start taking away stories.....

Sarah K said...

Sometimes you've gotta pull out the big guns. He'll thank you later. ;)

Courtneytcu98 said...

So this is exactly when I sent Ell to the sitter with his jammies on and nasty ol' diaper. I refused to battle anymore. I figure it was his hiney getting raw and him being upset about going somewhere in jammies. Natural consequences, baby.

A.B. said...

G doesn't have the sensitive hiners skin so he would basically wear a saggy droopy diaper for the rest of his life.