Tuesday, February 5, 2013

huge. huge and slow.

So I got my fitpregnancy email update today in which it states the below

"The volume of your uterus is five hundred to one thousand times larger than before you got pregnant, so it's safe to say you're feeling huge and slow."

Touche, fit pregnancy.  Touche. 

I don't actually feel that huge--until I try to put on my elastic pants that have clearly shrunk after my months of wearing them to the size of normal pants.  I mean, when did they get so small?  Why do I carry my children in my ass region?  I also feel huge when I wear a bra for more than 3 hours.  I mentioned this to the Dr.B and he said, "but aren't they just going to get bigger."  I also tend to feel huge when I lower myself to the ground to play with G$.  Then maybe huger and slower and a little bit more whale like when I try to stand up without my uterus falling out.  I look kind of like Will Ferrell in Old School when he gets shot with the tranquilizer only with less euphoria.  I also feel kind of huge and slow when I put on Dr. B's pj pants and think they must have also shrunk.  Wtf, people.  Make good clothes that will last a lifetime (9 months.)

I did have a dream last night where I started running (in normal clothes--fyi, those people confuse me) when I ran into a friend out on the trail.  And I was instantly in shape and awesome.  That's exactly what it feels like after giving birth to a whale and then "re-starting to work out."  Only less like that and more like someone is dangling air out in front of me and I cannot reach it.  Oh, and throw in some mom guilt for leaving the house and your babies and your husband behind and bringing leaky boobs.

All of that to say that I have my final FOUR appointments scheduled.  Four.  The final four.  I feel like people should start making brackets and shiz. 

I feel like I should maybe buy some diapers and some pads with wings?  Or something...

**also note I want this baby to stay in.  Not complaining.  Acutally love it.  Sleep way better with him inside.

1 comment:

CDS said...

Oh Baby Black...you keep making mama happy!! :)