the Black plague

So, as you have figured out (mostly because you know me) my last name is Black--hence the Black baby references that never get old for anyone. You should hear the name suggestions from friends and family.

Anywho, I also am a hypochondriac when it comes to illnesses. I always claim to have something extreme. It's part of my charming personality. I find it only fitting that I have gotten a cold from my FIL (father in law) and have now claimed to have the Black plague. It's a play on words people--keep up.

I thought it was related to the dust from cleaning out closets/tubs from the garage. Turns out no. I felt pretty miserable and had a fever yesterday afternoon. Laid around, ate chicken strips and fries, took some tylenol, watched the olympics and felt MUCH better. (probs the chicken strips instead of the tylenol.) Then I took a full ambien (usually take half--yes, I can take this) so I could sleep through my not being able to breathe.

Worked. Like. A. Charm! I didn't wake up feeling like complete crap--only marginal crap. Bonus. However, I just sat through a retirement meeting and am now pretty sure that 1. It was boring. 2. It reconfirmed that I need to save 80 bagillion dollars because we will have no social security 3. I have fever again.

Dear Black Plague,

I'm glad that I haven't lost any limbs to you, but I'd appreciate feeling better as it is Friday.

Loves,

me.

contradictions?

Maybe. Simple living bla bla bla

I WANT this. Picture it with some cute distressed jeans and adorable sandals.

annoyance.

So. I have some multiple pet peeves.

Today--cheep tissues. This is like purchasing cheep toilet paper (also a pet peeve.) When I have to pull out 5 tissues to make them not tear (I can't have them tearing... it's another pet peeve) this is annoying and wasteful.

AND. I can barely stand to touch them. It's like rubbing cotton balls on a chalkboard. Gross.

In the closet.

So last night began the closeting process--cleaning out my closet(s). I have done this multiple times at our abode over the last few years. I end up tossing bags of clothes into the garage. The garage also holds a whole lot of other give away clothes from when we moved from the ATL. Clearly, I have a problem. I really want to lead this simple life of basic items. Get rid of a black shirt every time I buy a black shirt. But lets be serious, who needs only one black shirt? They are essential.

So last night I put my clothes that I'm not going to be able to wear for a while into some 5 gallon tubs. Then, I took the remaining weird items that I haven't worn in at least a year or 2 and am giving them away. Granted, I could take a lot of them to a resale shop, but that's a lot of work. And some of the things could be an exciting find for someone at a thrift shop. Then I hung up the items that my super friends have let me borrow. Ps. They are wonderful friends with very cute clothing.

Honestly, I really really want to be better about downsizing everything--well my things. We will obviously need to upsize baby things. It's really a strong desire and something I'm going to have to work at. I blame my mom--who may or may not be on the show Hoarders some day. I've told her this--it's not a secret. It will make cleaning easier, finding things easier, doing laundry easier, and someday moving easier.

So there you go, blogger friends. I have a goal. That, and to re-start working out (which I totally blame on the crapstown weather we've had.)

18 weeks

Our baby is the size of a bellpepper this week!

I should start taking these photogs in the morning or with fresh hair and makeup. But alas, here I am after work and pre cleaning out my closet. Fun...

I will reward myself with ice cream momentarily.

Pants.

So, I've mentioned that it is 30 below zero, right? And that hell is freezing over? I know this to be true because it snowed in Austin yesterday--and there is still some minor snow on the ground.



SO, because it's been cold and I'm "in the family way" I need pants. I need work pants. I think that it will be way easier to get dressed in the mornings when I can just wear dresses. This is what I'm thinking, who knows though--BECAUSE IT'S COLD! Anyhow, this is leaving me in quite the predicament pants wise. Today--gasp--I wore the same pare of pants I wore yesterday. Judge me. Judge me. I'm over it. I'm going at lunch to perhaps purchase some more pantalones.


What I'm finding related to the pants, though... should you be interested--



The mid-rise is not my favorite. Maybe when I have a bigger baby belly I'll like them more, but right now when I sit down they kind of fold. Not a fan. Granted, I have 2 pairs therefore I will keep wearing them.



My FAVORITE pants--EVER--are these--which are basically yoga work pants. They are the Olian Vertigo pants. They are life changing and I never ever ever ever want to stop wearing them. You can roll them up or down.

My double take on pants this week are from the gap. I'm a fan and they don't look maternity-esque at all. I like them. They are a "no panel" variety. Check them out. I'm pretty sure that I can wear them afterwards, too. I say this now, perhaps that won't work. They are a little casual for work, but I think people are forgiving as I'm running out of options. That, and I'm pretty sure if someone confronted me I'd start crying.

18 week picture coming tonight (maybe!)

I am not the US postal delivery...

If it is raining, sleeting, snowing, I do not believe that I should be at work. I should not have to walk on my tip toes very carefully to get into my building so that I do not fall down and break myself. Granted, I have some extra donuts that have accumulated around my body so I would have been cushioned, but still.

1. We do not get this weather down here in Austin very often. Other parts of Texas have, but we normally just get cold rain. Not cold FREEZING rain (and snow accumulation in grassy areas.)
2. It was very dark outside and I wanted to keep sleeping.
3. rinse. wash. repeat.

oops at 16 weeks

I forgot about this one...it's a little delayed. 17 is below... also like 4 days late, so 18 won't be much different :)

Wow.

So I went to the grocery store today and picked up some lunch (2 forbidden items were eaten--a goat cheese and mushroom quesadilla and feta and spinach couscous. I probably harmed my baby in some way. It was delicious.)

Anyway, so I come out and am walking to my car and there is a car alarm going off. Granted, this is annoying, but out of someones control. I look and see that there are 2 dogs in the car. They probably hit something as Gizmo does when we're driving. He often steps on my emergency flasher button. He often has emergencies this way.

Anyway, there is a guy walking in, in a suit, clearly going to pick up some lunch (or some ladies) and I smile politely at him acknowledging the annoying BEEP BEEP BEEP and, thinking he'll say something about it (that isn't rude), he says, "I wish someone would turn that piece of shit off."

Um. Rude. Not classy. Not attractive. I rolled my eyes and at my harmful cheeses.

17 weeks

So this weekend we went to Dallas for our bff's baby shower. She is due in one month. I can't believe it. We spent Friday night hanging out, watching the Olympics, and watching the roller coaster ride going on inside of my friend. That doesn't look comfortable, but highly fascinating. I also ate so much that at one point I thought I would be ill. Luckily, I was just miserable--and in elastic workout pants. I should teach yoga just for the gear. Hmmm perhaps I should GO to yoga now that I've joined the Y (and re-found my Y card.)

Pregnancy brain happening #1--I went to the mall at 9:15 AM on Saturday. I wanted to make sure I had time to run errands and get the house ready for the shower, so I got up, got dressed and got on my way to the mall. I parked at Dillards and was confused by the locked door. Why would they close this entrance? Weird. So I drive to another section and park. I walk in. I'm almost run over by--a mall walker. Oh right... the mall opens at 10. What was I thinking?

I got some cute items at the gap, had a sweet 18 young salesman ask me if I was expecting some "changes" in my life (nice way of asking "Are you fat because you're pregnant or expect to be soon?") So yay, I have on a dress today and it's cute! Score one for me.

P.Brain #2--I went to approximately 18 different grocery stores for a few items--that I should have written down because I would pay, walk out, and remember. Then I ended up buying plastic cups at central market which must have cost like 200% more than at Target.

We went out for Mexican--I ate a bowl of chips basically by myself--because I'm awesome.

Shower--fun--love seeing people we haven't seen in a long time--meeting new people, looking at presents, longing for a glass of wine etc. I start cleaning up and...

P.Brain #3--I put the tin foil in the fridge instead of the pantry. And people saw. And took a picture. Then my face turned red.

Then I ate 500 cookies, the best dip ever, 1/2 of a burger, m&m's and became gigantic in mere moments. It dispersed by morning, thank goodness.

So what I've learned... my brain doesn't work properly, I have no control when it comes to food, and people can't help but stare at your stomach over and over after they learn the "news."

Trauma

Hair trauma. Some of the most serious kind.

Ok, it's not trauma as much as just awkward. My hair was short for a while and cute. I liked it, but then I wanted to grow it out and not it's soo not cute. This has nothing to do with my FABULOUS hair man, btw. I'm just in a bad place hair wise. Maybe I've forgotten how to fix it? Maybe I should start over from the beginning?

I just don't know what to do with myself. Don't know just what to do with myself.

(PS. That was sung in Cameron Diaz's voice from My Best Friends Wedding--in case you are un-knowledgeable in the ways of older movies.)

(Dear Julia, the scene where you are chasing your bff--your black shirt is far too short and ugly.)

Ok, back to me. My hair has been short-ish for a long time. I just want it back to the longer short phase and I'd be happy. Why won't it look right? What is wrong with me? I thought prenatal vitamins were supposed to make my hair grow like crazy town? Fix it.

Discussion topics.

I had The. Best. Massage. Ever. Yesterday. (Other than all of the other ones I've ever had with Kate at the Austin Bodyworker.) Turns out, whatever is my most recent massage will likely be my favorite. However, I am quite particular when it comes to such things and seriously, if you live in Austin, visit Austin, or need a reason to visit Austin--this is one of your must stops. I do not want someone to gently massage me. I also do not want it to be so painful that I cannot breathe. I also do not want someone to have learned their techniques from youtube. Kate is none of these. She is perfectionary genius (and mentioned she reads my blog which makes me love her more--that's my narcissism.) Also, you don't have to listen to waterfalls or elevator music. There is normal calming real life music. Ps. Ah-mazing. And now I'm sore, but still... way better.

Other discussion--fake teeth on our pairs ice skaters. Seriously, blond American and blond Canadian both have gigantically large teeth. This is coming from a self professed large toothed girl (I call them horse teeth--mine, not theirs. Theirs I call Chiclets.) I can only imagine that their teeths are fakesies. And, if I were them, I would be contacting my dental personnel because they did not do a good job. If you cannot comfortably close your mouth because of your Chiclets--it's time to go smaller. I do have one friend who says "fake" things are not fake, simply enhanced... that's not related to teeth, though.

I had my 16 week appointment on Friday! It took all of 15 minutes and I got to hear the heartbeat and that's about it. I think I mentioned this? Maybe I'll post a picture when I do my 17 week one, too. Tbd. I also considered the risks and sadness of being a single mom last night when the husband was snoring like a mo'fo. Then I had a dream that he would be proud of (ish)--very action oriented--including me riding a bike, driving a really old jeep, and a motorcycle. We were making a get away and I was able to use my extreme athleticism to not get my arse kicked (there were only 3 ladies trying to beat me up but I made it to the safety lawn--olly olly oxen free.) Ben, however was beat up continually for 2 days and it made me very sad. Then I decided I must love him even through the snoring and therefore will keep him at least one additional night.

Also, after having my loverly massage yesterday I dusted, swept, swiffer wet jetted, generally cleaned AND did laundry. This should off set my 3 bowls of honeynut cheerios I had for breakfast, right?

Pimp?

So after I picked up my soup and salad from the Olive Garden today (hold your giggles, please) i was listening to the radio and the song "Bad Bad Leroy Brown" was on. Yes. I listened to the whole thing and sang along with the words I know.

Question: Was Leroy Brown a pimp? He likes diamond rings and carries a razer blade in his shoe AND he's meaner than a junkyard dog and badder than old king kong.

So apparently not a nice pimp, either.

Yah. This is what happens in my brain.

It's like...

you think that it's Thursday all day, but it's actually Monday.

So Texas is experiencing some weather. I say this because it annoys the crap out of the BBlack. Everyone has weather and it's a stupid statement to try and say you are having bad weather. Anywho... I checked the weather before getting out of bed this morning (as I do every morning) followed by checking my email to make sure work has been cancelled. I see that it is SNOWING and suppose to accumulate like 1-3 inches. Snowing. Snowing. Snowing. ALL DAY! Then I'm perplexed by our work not being cancelled (because we don't know how to drive when it's snowy, icy, wet etc.)

I get to work. Slightly annoyed and it dawns on me... Maybe I should make sure that my "location" for weather was set to Austin and not Dallas (because I changed it last weekend when we went for my nephew's bday.) Ummm... DANG! Totally wrong city. So now I'm disappointed because what do we have? Temperature in the 30's and 100% chance of rain all day. Um, gross.

What I WAS going to blog about today was this... I may continue to buy maternity clothing when I'm no longer maternity-ish--and no, I'm not talking about elastic pants. Tank tops. So I've worn one 2x now and every time I put them on I'm amazed at their length--LOVE IT--and that they are not cut straight up and down. This is helpful as I have curves and am not a 13 year old boy. I totally thought that they would be huge, but no. It's apparently just a normal fit that will grow. I do not hope to grow after having this Black baby, but a tank top that is longer, I don't have to pull down all of the time, and is cut for a real life person? Sign me up.

I'm 4 months (or 16 weeks in pregnancy talk!) I have my appointment tomorrow where I will attempt to con them into giving me a sonogram to determine what gender Lola will be!

Dear Lola... I know I'll regret this in a few months...

but hurry up and give me a bump already. I mean, I can see you, but I'd like for you to be a little more apparent. I only have 5 months left. I know that at some point I'm going to be like "I'M HUGE" or "GET OUT OF ME" but right now... I'd like a little bump action.

That sounded drug related. Don't they call something bump? Ben makes fun because I don't get drug references. It's because I'm pure of heart. (I stole that from How to Lose a Guy in 10 days...BS!)

In other news... my sweetest of sweet friends is letting me borrow some adorable clothes. I can't wait for it not to be a million degrees below zero in the 40's so that I can wear them.

AND I ran yesterday! It was the first day that I came home from work and actually had energy to do something other than sit on the couch while my sweet husband labors over dinner/orders in. I went running AND we went to the grocery store AND I cooked dinner (he still cleaned up.) I had planned on going to sleep around 9:30 because I still cannot drag myself out of bed... but I had a friend call with some good gossip.

Now I could use a nap.

Awkward event of the day.

So a couple of people, who will remain unnamed, do not see me super often. However, they know I'm preggo. When they talk to me their eyes shift back and forth between belly-eyes-belly-eyes. I'm pretty sure they think I don't notice. I've considered reciprocating.

Thoughts?

14 and 15 weeks

14 and 15 week pics

Your stupidity astounds me.

On rare occasions you will get 2 postings in one day. Maybe 3. Depends on if I have fat arms tonight for my 15 week picture or if I combine it with the previous post.

I have an event coming up for work. We do not coordinate peoples travel, but once they are at the event we take care of everything. Hence, this event there will be a shuttle from the hotel to the location and back to the hotel. I sent this information out this morning along with each persons hotel confirmation number. I had a response saying, "Perhaps I was mistaken, but in previous communications didn't you say that you would NOT be providing shuttles from the airport?" Umm... yes. which is why this says sign up at the hotel for a shuttle from the hotel to the location. I said that in a nice way. I send out an ADDITIONAL email so that EVERYONE can be clear--I am only talking about a shuttle from the hotel. Not the airport.

Please read my email and the response below.


Greetings,
Please let me know if you have questions regarding your hotel confirmation. Just to be clear, the shuttle to which I’m referencing is only from the hotel to the church and back. This is not regarding transportation from the airport to the hotel/church.
Again, please let me know if I can answer any questions.

Hi Amanda,

Is there a shuttle set up for pickup at hotel to the church?

Best,
X

15 Weeks. Or a conspiracy theory about pregnancy.

This week our baby is the size of an apple. She's busy moving amniotic fluid through her nose and upper respiratory tract, which helps the primitive air sacs in her lungs begin to develop. Her legs are growing longer than her arms now (thank gawd, or at least we could probably be on a TLC show if they remained the same length), and she can move all of her joints and limbs. Although her eyelids are still fused shut, she can sense light. If you shine a flashlight at your tummy, for instance, she's likely to move away from the beam. (Why the hell would I do this?) There's not much for your baby to taste at this point, but she is forming taste buds. (S/he will have a very delicate pallet I'm sure and require only the best champagne--Andre.)--according to babycenter. (PS. This is not to infer that we will give our child champagne.)

So here's the thing--I didn't realize that I was going to become fat and squishy. Yes. I realize I'm pregnant and going to gain weight. I get that. I just didn't realize that I'm going to first get squishy and gain fat--everywhere. I've gained 2.4 lbs (When naked and zero accessories. This is probably what you find at a weight watchers meeting, too. I used to remove my shoes to weigh in. You know, because my shoes made me fat.) 2.4 is half way to five which is half way to 10 which is half way to 20. Basically, I'm about 2.3 seconds away from having gained 20 lbs.

Theory--I have an evil enemy who has tricked me into believing I'm pregnant, has given me multiple false pregnancy tests, and much like on glee, someone has broken into the ultrasound room and create a video for me to see that looks as if it is my baby but it is actually either--someone else's sonogram, or an alien.

Other theory--there is an alien who lives inside of me and all that alien can have to exist are donuts, nachos and ice cream. This, much like in Twilight, is why I must have those things against my will--because I'm selfless like that. (Like when Bella had to drink blood out of a styrofoam cup--only I'm more environmentally conscious and do not use styrofoam.)

Final theory (for today. Maybe. Or, maybe just my final theory before 11 AM.) I am actually pregnant and this is normal for me to get squishy, crave sweets, and eat nachos for dinner 2 nights in a row, and have zero desire to work out (but blame it on the weather), and really want to go to bed at like 9 pm. Ok. Maybe 8. I apologized to Ben for being boring last night. He said, "It's ok." I stared at him and he adjusted and then said, "You're not boring."

In order to help me out this morning I stopped at Starbucks and got a nonfat chai. This, is usually a big treat because I rarely stop. Treat ruined when weirdo at starbucks sings to me, "Good Morning, How are you today?! can I delight you in something caffienated?!" (Ok, I hated this crap in music class in elementary. I hate it even more when I'm trying to order my tasty treat.) Should I be a nice person I would have sang back. However, because of the alien/evil force of nature that has now taken control of my body, I rolled my eyes ordered, and judged silently in my car.

Other tragedy today--my hair is still awkward.

VOTE!

What gender do you think this Black baby will be?

I have no idea and Ben refuses to vote.

Take some chances.

You have a 50/50 shot.

Frustration of the morning.

Frustration.

Admin just walked in to give me a copy of a report that, as part of my job, I NEED to be updated on. She, "just thought I might like to see it."

YES. I DO. In fact I NEED to see it to be able to be knowledgable. I am often finding this to be the case. She doesn't think I need to know things and so I end up looking out of the loop.

I'm in need of a nap. It's 9 AM.

Bargaining.

First, you must know that babycenter sent me an update today that told me the name "Axel" is totally "in" this week.

This is not on my list of names.

Second, I just sent off my maternity leave desires to my big boss. NERVOUS. I went no holds. I asked for exactly what I wanted knowing that it most likely will not be accepted.

What makes me more nervous, is hoping that I do not come off as taking advantage of generosity. I would hate that because where I work, and all higher parties involved, are OVERLY generous. I don't want to be "that" person who takes it too far.

I figure, though, if I didn't ask for what I wanted, I'd always wonder "what if?" Or something deep like that.

Updates. Confessions. Whatever.

So this is a random posting--to help me pass the time.

For some reason, I have the lyrics "I reached back like a pimp and I slapped the ho" running through my head. And for some reason, I mean I heard it on the radio this morning, but only THOSE lyrics are on repeat. Awesome. This is probably good for child development. Right?

Sleep--non-existent. I'm not a good sleeper. I never have been. It totally sucks. I have both a husband and a very small 13 lb dog who snore loudly. Both moved to the couch at some point in the night. I read yesterday that in "high doses" ambien can cause birth defects in rats and rabbits (sad and gross). What is a "high dose"? At this point I'm ok with the ears staying where they are if I can get a whole night of sleep. I refilled my prescription yesterday and will pick it up today. I only take half... and not everyday.

Hair--better. It was awkward. Ryan worked what magic he could with this mess.

Nephew--IS ONE TODAY! Can you believe it? Last year at this time I was on my way to grapevine hospital! We will head to Haslet on Saturday for the big birthday party!

Fatness factor--my scale (that is dying a slow battery death) tells me I've only gained 2 lbs. I'm scared to step on a real scale or replace the batteries.

Breakdowns--one yesterday due to tiredness and fatness factor and limits on clothing. AUSTIN HAS 3 stores where you can purchase maternity clothes. (This is excluding Target which I'm absolutely disappointed with their current options. I hope that come spring they will have an attitude adjustment.) I also have a huge problem with spending more on clothes that I'm going to wear for 6 months vs. my life. Husband witnessed minor breakdown, tried to console and not look confused by my tears.

Ice cream--I ate out of the carton and dipped cookies in it last night.

I am awesome.