You're so vain.

You probably think that we size our stuff so that you'll buy it.

Amanda, you're so vain.  You buy things that are just ok because they are a small size.

If you knew my singing voice, you'd know that these lyrics though wrong sound about the same as if they rhymed.  Though G says, "Mama, more sing" and then sings off key.  Whatevs, yo.  It's a joyful noise?  Or some such shit that is vanity sizing all the same.

Anyway, today I tried on these pants that the sales girl said she LOVES (keep in mind sales girl is approximately 25, very tall, very thin, and able to wear heels all day.  These are not descriptors of moi.)  If you said, short legs, large bff thighs and probably has a buzz after 7:30 then that would be me.  Either way.  She told me they were amazing.  So I tried them on.  And bought 2 sizes smaller.

SOLD.

She also said my butt looked good.  Have I mentioned I'm an easy target?  This is what shopping for 20 minutes alone will do to you when you really expected a handyman to show up to fix the effing holes in your wall so you keep your kid at daycare all day only he doesn't show up and so you give up and go shopping.  Tiny pants that you are scared to bring in the house.

and holes in the wall.  (and another pair of pants, and maybe a shirt.  and maybe another shirt.)