Wednesday, March 28, 2012

I roofied myself.

So Sunday night Ben and I went to see the Hunger Games.  Were home by 5:30.  Took G on a cocktail walk (we had cocktails.  he did not.)  Then I decided I'd make myself a vodka soda with lemon.  It tasted a little off, but after the first few minutes I didn't notice.

I also engaged in some ambien taking upon bed time.  (not a ton of drinks here, people.  just to be clear.)

Then my child screamed from 2-5.

Then slept ON me,  In "mama bed," which means great sleep for him--less for me.  Up.  dressed.  to work.  FEEL AWFUL.  Like, hungover.  Which seems odd.  I blamed it on the not sleeping and guess I didn't eat enough or something (no ambien eating for me.)  AWFUL, by the way.  awful.

This morning Ben comes into the bathroom while I'm getting dressed.  Asked where I found the vodka.  I told him.  He asked if it was in a glass bottle.  I say yes.  He laughs and says he has figured out the mystery--that was everclear.

So, basically... don't drink everclear.  Unless you are in college. Or you have intestines made of steal.  Or are promised you will get to sleep.  From now on, I think we need to be more clear about our labeling.

By the way--everclear, soda and lemon--only tastes bad for the first few sips.  Then you don't notice the burning.


Heidi Bruch said...

First question, why in gods name do you have ever clear in your bar? I remember that stuff from college and how it was apparently legal only in Canada???? (not sure if that is a rumor) I remember taking a shot of it and may as well have taken a shot of rubbing alcohol. Omg. Too funny!

A.B. said...

Well everything is out of order post flood. So it isn't actually something we drink, but Ben uses it to sanitize or something? When he is brewing beer.

Sigh. I probably just shaved decades off of my life.

Vickie said...

Holy cow, this is funny. I'm impressed you even HEARD G screaming through an Everclear haze. Ha.

Perfectly Imperfect said...

who the hell keeps everclear on hand?!?!? you are crazy girl. crazy.

i did this with moonshine once. holy balls. still not sure i'm completely recovered.

Meg said...

I only thought they sold everclear to people who lived in cardboard boxes and provided their own paper bag. Who knew? And trust me, I have rufied myself plenty of times.

A.B. said...

Meg, who says I DON'T live in a cardboard box. We are green like that. Dude, we have an "adult store" that advertises they are green on the radio. What the wha?

And, thank you, to the nurse who knew how to properly spell rufie.

CDS said...

To you I dedicate the song "We Are Young"...because I LOVE this story!

Anonymous said...

I thought this was going to be about roofies! Ha, ha. Too funny. Great story though!