31 weeks

Only 9 weeks (ish) to go! That's crazy talk. This week Griffin is the size of 4 navel oranges. Seriously? You couldn't think of a fruit that is singular? 4 navel oranges? Weird. He apparently weighs about 3-3.5 lbs which is odd considering I've gained... 17.

(Dear Weight Watchers, you will be seeing my face in approximately 15 weeks. You may not recognize me as I now come with zero chins. This meaning that my chin now flows directly into my neck. It will be back to the old days when I remove my jewelry and shoes to weigh in... because they are what make me fat.)

Speaking of navels--mine is shallow. Probably because it has 4 navel oranges pushing it out. Went to the doc today and everything looks normal. My blood pressure is awesome. I can't help but smile when I hear his heartbeat. Like, seriously, it's kinda mushy. I also have a slight desire to be taken to my room lay down on the bed/table and have them forget about me for a few hours and I just nap. Weird? Maybe. I also keep hoping for a surprise ultrasound. No luck. They said a long time ago when I asked if I got another one, "They usually find some medical reason for me to have another one around 36 weeks." This hasn't been mentioned since then... I think I'm going to ask at my next appt which is at 34 weeks.

Tomorrow also begins my countdown to birth. I mean, yes, technically I've been counting down since November, but NOW I'm scheduling my final hair appointments. Tomorrow is the beginning of the last few. Hey people, I need to look good for showers and good for after baby pictures. Well, as good as I can look in after baby pictures. I will be investing in some waterproof mascara. Remember mascara ='s glamour.

We also bought a new tiny digital camera this week. We are saving up for the Big Mama camera for a little while because apparently having a baby costs approximately 800 million dollars. As we only make a tiny fraction of ONE million dollars... TEENY TINY FRACTION that means we have to wait on this item. We are going to get the new canon digital slr. I already have canon lenses from my regular slr so that made the choice easier. Maybs the moms, aka Glammy, will let me borrow her camera for a little while.

And how will we celebrate 31 weeks? With our LOVELY Memorial day weekend. I imagine pool time, cleaning time, laundry time, friends wedding time, nap time, getting rid of shit time, lovin' on the dogs time, and generally enjoying my second weekend in a row at home.

Just like Martin Luther.

I'm amazed at the amount of pure shit at our house. You might say I'm nesting. You might say I'm obsessing. You might say that I finally have a reason to do some of the things that I always THINK about doing. Pretty sure it's diagnosed as nesting currently--then when the baby comes I think it will be diagnosed as OCD.

Anyway, so I'm cleaning out closets. We have a lot of stuff. Bags. Bags. Bags. Bags. Luggage. Random vases. Games. Other crap. It all needs to go. I need it to leave our house. Suckily, I can't carry it all--so now I've taken things out of closets I need my fantastic marriage mate to come home and help me carry them outside/to my car.

I wish I could post a note on my door listing the acceptable items for people to come and take (that's where the Martin Luther part comes in.) Or, I wish we had gigantic bins outside of our house like they do for roofing and one was for trash and one for donations. If only... if only. Please come take our shiz... and please do not send more. We are up to quota on cutesy notebooks if that was on your list of things to send.

I need it all GONE. Will let you know when this astounding adventure happens.

30 weeks

30 weeks, my friends. Well, last week was 30. I'm seriously not good at updating! There is our red dresser, crib, husband pronouncing that "The Good Ben saw what he had done and it was good," owl rattle, etc etc.

Exciting stuff! We also ordered our glider this weekend! I can't wait until it's here... which will be pushing the time limits a little. Either way, it's DONE!

My amazing husband

I got this email while I was out of town...

"I got the dresser together on top of all of the other stuff. You
should blog about what an amazing husband you have.

Ok...a few hours of sleep. I'm looking forward to having you back tomorrow.

I love you.

~me"

Ahhh he is amazing. Worked hard while I was gone. I'll post pictures of his amazing work, soon. He also suggest that I write only about negative things that he does--which simply isn't true (ish.) Remember that one time when he was taking the cough medicine with codine in it? How it made him paranoid that I was blogging about him (I wasn't) and it made him not be able to pee. This was a LONG time ago. We now have a plethora of this med. Not sure what to do with it? Sneak it into some of his food and let the excitement begin?

Tbd on that one, friends.

I also had a dream this morning that was a movie with Kate Hudson and Matthew Mc. 1. He was hot. Her parents died and left her a chinese restaurant that she ran. She was always there. He came in one day--they flirted, she got obsessed with work and had to go make some spicy fried shrimp, and then he left. She went to find him on the beach (because she knew they were destined to be together) and realized he had left his tux shoes. NOW she would be able to find him because she had his shoes?

I'm not sure what happened. She didn't find him before I woke up. Maybe I should write a movie company about this? Sounds like a winner.

We all look the same.

So, I am quite obviously the youngest person at the conference. This is the trend in my work, I find. However, I cannot call this the old white man group! SUCCESS! This is a diverse group of people. Awesome.

Today, though I went into the conference room after breakfast to find a seat. There was an older woman sitting at a table and I asked if I could join her. (And, yes, she had the "hair" and could have been in my previous posting which I should have entitled "When you stop being a woman, and start being clergy." Totally stolen from the "mom jeans add on SNL.)

Anyway, I go back out to get some hot chocolate and come back. She is sitting in one seat, I skipped a seat and had put my things in the next one. She wanted to make clear that Becky, (whoever the hell that was) was sitting in the seat next to her. I, however, could sit in any of the other 9 seats available. Um... ok? I wasn't trying to sit next to you. I introduce myself and she says, "yes, I think we met yesterday." I say, "I don't believe so." She says, "Well... it was someone who was young like you."

SO we all look the same now. There is only one other person that this could have been and I'm relatively sure she is 10 years older than me (and today, was wearing a peachish/brownish suit --with shoulder pads--and a beige top. awesome. The shoes escape me as I had to evacuate the situation.)

I also just looked in the hotel guide book at the "what to eat" section to decide on my dinner--I'm opting out of group dinner. Anyway, someone has obviously stolen some pages because all it has listed--is alcohol. It made me laugh--and then made me sad for myself.

Women of the cloth.

SO I work in a church world. I'm also highly judgmental, apparently. Here are my observations though about women who tend to be clergy.
1. Some style of chili bowl cut--Sometimes it's shorter, sometimes a little longer, ofter MUCH more manly than our former first lady (but I wasn't sure what to google in order to find the precise picture.) Why do you have men"s haircuts? You are indeed not a man. Notice the lady in the top picture that is in the royal blue. Prime example.

2. Sensible shoes. Notice the picture above again. There is a plethora of not flats/not heels going on in the clergy world. They are often a nude color and have a one inch semi chunky heel.
This is generally not an attractive color. Plus, it's ugly. Plus, just wear some cute flats.

3. A love of the long sheeth dress. It is typically complete with flowers. It typically shows no shape and may be paired with a men's blazer.

Why oh WHY can we not celebrate our differences? Our femininity? Wax our brows? Not wear a butt cut if we have long shapeless hair? Not get the bowl cut? Not wear sensible shoes?

I mean, I get that it's hard to be a female in that world... that you have to compete with men, that you try not to appear to be different--but we are.

I'm just sayin', people might come to church more if you grew out your hair, got a nice suit, maybe put on some lipgloss, and wore some rockin' shoes. It might be shallow, but it might save the world.

What I learned from a TSA agent.

SO at 5 am when I was at the airport and going through the security line (one of those that zig zags like at 6 Flags... which leads me to... why do you have 6 flags over anything BUT Texas. I mean, historically, it doesn't make sense.)

Anyway, there they were. The couple. Every time he got to the end of the zig they needed to desperately hug and kiss one another. I wanted to question--why don't you just walk through the line with him until they kick you out? I was slightly amused, slightly physically annoyed.

Most important, though, was the history lesson that I received as a bystander. 2 TSA agents were talking with one another about the Holocaust. And I hear...wait for it. wait for it.

It wasn't as big of a deal as history tries to tell us.

I mean, not that many Jews died.

I'm pretty sure my face was a face of shock and awe. I'm like wha? Who are these people? If I had some liquids I would have thrown them on them. Or, used my firearms and fireworks that I had sealed away in the soles of my shoes.

(PS. I wrote this last night after taking some ambien--and waking up at 4 am, traveling to Indianapolis with my boss, going to a conference, having a work dinner that lasted fo-eva, and finally getting back to my room. It was more entertaining before I had to edit it.)

Did I mention...

that my flight leaves at 6 am tomorrow? LEAVES then. Which means I have to get there prior to that. Awful. Last week (?) when I left for Michigan my flight left at 6:30 and apparently it's like rush hour at the airport at that time and took me forever to get checked in and through security. I mean, I didn't get there at 4:30 (the suggested 2 hour arrival time) because that's just stupid. I'm also traveling with my boss tomorrow/this week. I'm a little nervous about the whole ordeal. There's nothing like a 7.5 month pregnant woman traveling and schmoozing with the boss and being constantly "on" for most of the week. Sounds super restful. But, as always, I have the promise of a gigantic bed all to myself. If only I could travel with my body pillow and my fan (the constant off and on of the hotel A/C totally drives me crazy.)

Hilarious (and inappropriate) conversation to follow (be advised--I am discussing boobs.)

Last night Ben and I (and the Giz) were laying on our bed talking when he starting singing a song from Cats. Memories all alone in the moonlight... bla bla bla. I look at him and said, "Now where did THAT come from?"

Why I know we're screwed...

Well, you said something about having to hold your breath. Breath lead to breast. I like your breasts. Which lead to mammary's which lead to songs where I replace the word memories with mammary's and there you go. (This replacement happens more often than one might think, fyi.)

Financially responsible.

I gave up being financially responsible today and ended up with 2 pairs of shoes. I found this to be a good use of my time.

I also reorganized linen closets, my closet, took about 8 bags of things to goodwill, swept, did laundry and... went shopping. It was my reward. I may do this again tomorrow.

It's amazing what one can done when one is home an ENTIRE weekend.

29 weeks.

29 weeks.

Butternut squash. Really, babycenter, really?

Apparently, Black baby will be rapidly gaining weight in the weeks to come--which means I will also be rapidly gaining weight. I've gained about 15 lbs so far--10 of which are in my face. Seriously, I was going through my week to week pics that we started at 12 weeks and I used to have a chin, ya'll! And, JUST ONE. I am hoping that someday that reality will return. I'm not holding my breath, but I'm hoping.

My belly button--is a serious form of intrigue for the hubs. PS. I do not like to have my neck touched OR my belly button. Weirds me out. It is getting progressively more shallow. Also weird. I'm also totally regretting that whole belly button piercing thing I did in college. You can still see that it used to be there. PS. When I was looking for maternity clothes on ebay there were MULTIPLE people selling maternity belly button rings. No lie. Judgement abounds. I mean, unless you have one and then I will say, "Well now isn't that interesting. Now, bless your heart." This is still me judging you, but in a nice way. (I also dislike the word "belly.")

(28 weeks and some days)

Random experiment, but a few weeks ago Ben put his ipod up to my stomach and played a few songs and Griffin totally moved up under the sounds. I think this means he will be a genius. Most likely, anyway.

So I've had a pretty easy pregnancy. And my pretty easy--I mean amazing. I like it. I'm not overly uncomfortable, no real troubles sleeping (other than my usual inability to sleep through the night, but this isn't new), no desire for this to be over and want him OUT. I haven't gotten there yet. I'm sure I will. I do miss working out (which I realize I can still do--but don't.) I also miss being able to purchase all of the new summer items that are out. AND, when shopping for leggings the other day, my amazing husband did have to unbuckle my shoes--and rebuckle them--and witness me putting on leggings. Something I will never allow him to do--see me put on pantyhose. First, because I don't wear panty hose, and second because it's not attractive. I think the last time I wore something like this (it was spanx) I removed them because my ability to breathe was highly restricted. I'm not a spanx kind of girl. I do like them in theory. And once, in grad school, hid a flask in one of the leg panels. This is another way that I'm super classy and another story to not share with my children.

Today I'm making use of my mother's day gift--a massage. I can't wait. I also have on for the weekend--watching the season finale of America's Next Top Model (ALL 2 HOURS!) and maybe some light shopping. I'm in desperate need for a computer bag. I have my last work trip for a while next week and I'd like to have something by then. There are also some not very expensive shoes I can't get my mind off of at nordstrom.

I'm not an impulse buyer. SO, I like to think about what I'm going to get. I saw these. Like them. Have thought about them for about 3 weeks. This is how I know they must be mine. And maybe a necklace to match. It's destiny, basically. Maybe I'll also do some painting? Tbd on that. Perhaps also some napping. It's a weekend off and I feel that I should take advantage of this--before I leave on a 6 AM flight on Tuesday morning (a fact that I will probably mention 8 more times between now and then.)

I just registry stalked myself

Is that wrong? Probably. However, in my defense, it is still a surprise as to WHO so graciously purchased WHAT. Either way, it totally just made my day to read the word "fulfilled/complete" next to some lovely items.



Anyway, I thought I'd share a few of my favorite things this pregnancy. Well, I guess saying "this" pregnancy implies I've had other ones, and I haven't (unless you count those kids we keep locked in the weird closet under our stairs. Kidding. There are no kids in there--only beer brewing supplies.)



So I guess what I meant to imply is just... a couple of things I like.



As stated--I'm not a toucher when sleeping. Ben sleeps with a body pillow which I used to judge with disdain (and may still do so as I'm allowed because there are double standards.) I have one now. It's a boppy pregnancy pillow and it's glorious. I was a little leery of this suggestion from websites thinking they were just trying to make me purchase even MORE items. However, my hips started hurting when I was sleeping. This--is just the fix. It's perfect. I love the curves. I sleep with a pillow under my head, also. I'm not sure I'll give it up post pregnancy. I might though--just because it takes up room. I also have to wake up to roll over. I'm not sure if this is due to the pillow or the fact that I'm 7 months pregnant and honestly can't roll over without waking up. It's a mystery.



I've said this before and I'll say it again--the Olian (over/under) Vertigo pants. I have them in 3 colors. They are seriously like yoga work pants. I do have one pair in medium and 2 larges. The larges were slightly gigantic when I got them, but I had a friend tell me the mediums didn't last her entire pregnancy. I'm finding this to be true. I wore the mediums this week and they fit--but I can tell that I won't be able to wear them the entire time. I may never give these pants up. Ever. (Please note--this is not the store at which I shop. I shop locally when possible and got them at Due Maternity.)

I've also enjoyed ebay for buying some designer jeans. I'll say that my favorite jeans, though (also from Due) are these. Well, they aren't exactly these, but they are the same brand. I also have yet to try them while standing and letting the wind blow my hair. I might like them even more then. What I like is that they honestly LOOK like real pants because they have the band and button on them. The navy maternity part is super soft and you can fold it up or down should being up get uncomfortable. What I wish is that more jeans had a beige material tummy part so that you couldnt' see it through white shirts. I'm just sayin'.

My favorite brand, so far, is Olian. I find their dresses to be great quality and I like the pants-obvi. What I don't like about maternity clothes is the general expense for something you wear for a short amount of time. I'm finding this easier now that it's warm outside and I can just wear some non-maternity dresses and tops. I'm on the search for some baby shower dresses and don't want to spend a bagillion dollars. However, I also would like to be ridiculously cute. So, some sacrifices may need to happen.

Also in my love--maternity undershirts. I will never stop purchasing them. I love that they are long. I do like the ones from target and pea in the pod more than the Gap ones. The Gap one isn't as long or as soft. Honeynut cheerios (though I've been buying an organic brand--because they're better for me, right?) Light Frapp's from starbucks. Donuts haven't been as high on the list. Nachos. Yum.

Most recent dessert obsession--sno cones. Thinking I'm going to try out a new place tonight.

What is making me sad? 1. One of my pairs of pants I bought in the beginning were too tight the other day. 2. It's almost over. 3. My need for naps. 4. My need for Sharon Stone to be OFF of law and order svu. 5. allergies. 6. Meat. I'm not that interested. Protein source? Cheese.

I'm sure I could come up with other complaints. Later today or tomorrow my 28 week (and 5 day) photo. (oops... I was in Michigan. It isn't my fault.) and my 29 week photo. Sneak preview? This week... a butternut squash.

About me.

Someone asked me if the "about me" section still rang true. I think... yes.

I am still 30--and will be a 30 SOMETHING for years to come.

I still pursue life. I mean, hell, I went into a strip club to potty. Now if that isn't life? I'm not sure what is. My first thought was to pee in the parking garage, but thought "Now that's just not classy."

Love-I love love. Or something corny like that.

The perfect pair of jeans--This is a constant. CONSTANT. I love jeans. I like to find them and love them. I can't wear them to work except once a week, but I NEED them. I also don't go home and put them on after work. I'm more of a come home, immediately take off my clothes and undergarments and replace with tshirt and pj pants kind of girl. HOT. I know, I mean, could I sound more attractive? Still. I love them. I looked at some last night and considered purchasing... then instinct and reason kicked and and I knew I didn't need them--even if they were an amazing deal and looked amazing on the size 0 non-preggo mannequin.

Makeup--I could easily say skincare products. Sephora is my mecca. If only my bagillions had started rolling in. I did forgo all fancy face washes and moisturizer for quite some time, but have been revisiting the Philosophy line. I just bought their newest moisturizer--Miracle Worker. It feels like a dreamy cloud being rubbed all over my face. Or... liquidy whipped cream. Whichever you prefer. (I have also bought their oxygen peel and purity face wash.)

Philanthropy--I'd love to save the world.

Wine and cheese--yes please.

I guess I could change this last part--I'm no longer really running to eat. I'm more casually strolling and blaming growing a baby on my massive food intake. I think people are scared to question those who are "in the family way."

I'd love to cure cancer. I can't wait to get back into training with TNT. I've already got my first 1/2 marathon on the calendar! It's basically going to be torture to get things back in gear after this event. Like... terrible. I can only imagine. That, and I really like the color purple and so I'm happy to wear that in my pursuit of the cure.

And... that's that. I could probably add something about a crazy need for new couches, but that may just be going overboard. Oh, or the fact that we need a new larger bed. I mean, probably not necessary to state... but there it is. We NEED it and not in the way that I need jeans. We need it in a way in which I may lose sanity without. Well, I think I may even prioritize new couches over the bed. It's touch and go ya'll. Touch. And. Go.

7 months, ya'll

So I'm 7 months preggo--28 weeks. Well, more than that now, but last week was super busy both with work and personal life. I left for Michigan on Thursday morning. My FLIGHT was at 6:30. Early. And, there were like a million people at the airport. I didn't appreciate them messing with my time schedules. I was the LAST person on the plane. They were loading up and ready to go. oops.

I got to Grand Rapids around noon. Hung out with the bride and her bmaids--went to the hotel, went to the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, minor hangout time with bride after, bed. The next day started EARLY and not because it had to. I woke up--wide awake around 6 am. Gross. I even was taking part in the blackout curtains, rainy weather, and king sized bed! No es bueno.

Getting ready bla bla bla. We went and took some pictures ass the wedding party around GR in some industrial places. I'm sure they will turn out well. However, one of the places happened to be this parking garage that was connected to.... a strip club. Now, this preggo girl had been driving around and picturing for a long time and HAD to use the facilities...in the strip club. Let me just tell you, that 3 bridesmaids walking into a strip club gets quite the attention (from the gross and nasty mens who are there at 2 pm on a Friday.) Whoa.

And, I'm huge. Huge I tell you. I've gained approximately 15 lbs (that's what it said this morning.) In the last week I feel like I have expanded--everywhere. I dont just look preggo now, but slightly gigantic and my face is fat. It's awesome, really. Ok, maybe less than awesome. Oh wells. I'll try to post a picture later should I remember. Griffin is now the size of a bag of flour? And some sort of random veggie that I can't currently remember. He also has eye lashes and blinks involuntarily... or something like that.

Anywho, now to begin my plan to become a lady who lunches. That far better suits my calling.