So I didn't know I was pregnant, natural child birth, and other things that won't happen to me.

He's here. He came a week early, much to everyone's surprise and my telling him that I had plans for this week of relaxing, lunching, and napping. OH well!

On Tuesday at my 39 week appointment the doc told me--no progress, no dilation. I'd be surprised if he came this week.

Wednesday around 6pm--me not feeling well. crampy. gross. I got in bed around 9, had pretty bad cramps. Around 11 AWFUL cramps. Here's the thing... the doctor told me that contractions happen ALL OVER your belly. Mine didn't. I didn't want to go to the hospital and get sent home. So I waited. And waited. And writhed in pain. Then, around 4 I got up and quickly showered in hopes of missing another contraction. They were coming pretty quickly at this point. I'm still like, but wait--this isn't all over. It's only in my abdomen. I wake Ben up around 5, he lays with me, asks if I think they are contractions (duh) and he then got some things together. We got to the hospital around 7:30 AM and my contractions were about 4.5 minutes apart. OUCH. WORST. PAIN. EVER. Ever. Ever.

Should you ever be on that tv show--so I didn't know I was pregnant. I call B.S. There is NO WAY you can live through these pains and not know something is up. Just saying. Also, to those of you who made it through natural child birth. Holy crapstown--you are amazing. I had about 10 hours of contractions before I got my epidural (which, ps, didn't work for a while so the guy had to come back and give me some other stuff), and they were excruciating. At that point they were about 2.5 minutes apart. I'm sure my waiting to go to the hospital helped me progress pretty quickly, though. So there is a bonus in that. I only ended up pushing for about 20 minutes before wa-la--beautiful baby. (there were other things going on in there too... I'm sure I'll get a longer post out soon. For now, this is the shortened version.)

It's been an adjustment... and my adjustment I mean--I'm le tired. Then I look at him at 4 Am and think, well... you're pretty cute so I guess I'll let this slide. He's very sweet. His face is changing daily so we're still trying to decide who he resembles the most. Today I knew for sure that he has a tiny dimple on his left cheek. ADORABLE.

Pictures are slows going... as is my time on the computer.

Thanks for all of the thoughts and well wishes! We love him. LOVE HIM LOVE HIM. So blessed.

39 weeks

Right after baby Griffin was born :)

OH Bethenny

So, one of my new fave shows is Bethenny Getting Married. She is a real house wife of NY... though I'm confused by that since she just got married. I haven't watched that one, I'm more of a RHWONJ kind of girl. I have seen the NY one a couple of times, but I by no means know history. Note: Please do not give me the history as I do not care that much at this point.

So Bethenny gets married at 7.5 months preggo and goes on her honeymoon where she wears tiny bathing suits, is adorably tan, and swims nakers in her private pool. These things don't concern me as much as the fact that she still has ribs at 7.5 months pregnant. How is that possible? I certainly don't have ribs now, and I'm thinking I didn't at that point either. I also laughed outloud when she was like... Um, soooooooo when do kids start like, walking and talking? Which one comes first? Oh, ps. I've never changed a diaper. I think she takes a class in the next one. I also enjoyed that she had her hubs wax her stomach. Waxing is an essential in my life. I got my final bikini wax yesterday. Yes, I'm still wearing a bikini because I really don't see how I would fit into a one piece in any sort of comfortable manner--ESPECIALLY when I need to use the facilities every 2.5 seconds. Plus, I can't see anything below my belly button so, as far as I know, my legs are very svelt and amazing.

I also laughed outloud when she realized that she REALLY wanted a girl (laughed because I could relate. Yes, judge me for this. I know I'm having a boy, I still like girl things.) Anyway, she was like I know I know... I won't care as long as it has 10 fingers and 10 toes and is healthy... and has a vagina.

I'm due in one week. ONE week. Crazy. I don't think he's coming then, but maybe.

Some decisions have been made.

So remember when I was all... "I'm working until the moment I give birth?" I think I've changed my mind. Word yo, I'm tired. I think that instead of waiting until next week (due date is next WEDNEDAY, July 28!) I'm going to make this Friday my last day. I have a final meeting with my group tomorrow at 2 to make sure everything is covered. This means that he will either--come on Friday night and I'll have like zero time off--or he'll come in like 2 weeks and I'll be bored out of my mind. One of those options. I have my 39 week appointment tomorrow morning so we'll see if there has been any progress. I'm thinking he's pretty happy in there, though.

The other reason to stop working on Friday--fear of my water breaking at work. How would I clean that up? What would happen to my office chair? That takes time out of my going home, showering, putting on makeup plans.

I spent much of yesterday laying in (our new gigantic) bed. It was awesome. I also went to bed at like 9:30 and slept pretty well until my alarm went off--I could have stayed in bed MUCH longer. (And by slept pretty well--it's as well as a 9+ month preggo sleeps. It's all relative.)

The hubs spent his day brewing beer that will be ready and on tap for Griffin and guests arrival. The cleaning people come again on Thursday and we're pretty set.... once that damn name sign arrives.

rawr.

cradle that my sister and I slept in. My dad refinished it and my mom made the bedding!


Pictures to be hung up in Griffin's room

Griffin's coming home outfit


Glider... but we have a better picture. It's striped, but you can't tell here. It's sooo dreamy.


My earrings that my lovely husband gave me. Love them.


Here in our house... we love us some searsucker.


SO, Ben called about our glider on Friday and they said... "Oh, it's been in since the 6th. We called Mr. Black on that day." He was all um, no. Not true. Whatevs. He and my dad went and picked it up this morning! It is now all set up in our room! (we'll move it to Griffin's when he starts sleeping in there.) Not as much luck with our name sign... which is now supposed to be in on FRIDAY. Ps. This makes me extremely unhappy as it was supposed to be in 3 weeks ago. Don't make a preggo woman unhappy.

I've got chills.

No buyers remorse here. OMG. I just bought a year of Star Magazine for only $9. Typically, a year is $80!!!

TODAY ONLY you can get this deal over at Tanga.com Click on the add and then use the promo code STAR. Dreamy dreamy celebrity gossip!!! I have fallen so behind on my celeb knowledge once my fave celeb website reworked itself and became super annoyingville. And, once I have a baby I'm sure I'll know even less? Or something. So this is my way of keeping up on culture.

I feel smarter today already.

38 weeks

and according to babycenter the size of a leek. This is stupid because that isn't a set size. So, he's the size of... a 6 pack of diet coke? Maybe? Like 6 ish pounds. I actually LOST 3 lbs this week. This probably isn't technical either. It's just water weight. It makes my fingers and my toes fat. Hence, the old lady flip flops! And, I have no "progress" towards the baby having. Oh well. I have time and ice cream that needs to be eaten.

Last night Ben and I went out for a "date night" at Sandra Bullock's restaurant, Bess. It was tasty and he let me eat most of the dessert. True love. He also gave me some beautiful earrings in exchange for the baby. Kidding. They are my "push" present :) Ok, maybe THAT is true love. They are in my ears or I'd post a picture.

We also got our new bed on Monday evening. It's HUGE. It's like being on vacay. We are both still used to sleeping on the edges of the bed so there's tons of room between us when I wake up in the mornings. Am I sleeping better? Eh? Probably not. I think I will though. I did sleep basically all the way through the night on Monday.

And, this weekend my parents are bringing the cradle and bumpers my mom made (Can't wait to see them!) ANNNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDDD our glider and his name sign are supposed to be in. Fingers crossed for that because then, life would seem complete :)

We went to see the Bodies exhibit yesterday. Fascinating. I don't think dead people should have mustaches. It's weird.

Up 30 lbs. YIKES.

Adjusted schedule.

I thought last night was the night. The night of pure sleep joy after a few nights of much dismay. Alas, I woke up at 4:30 with an active mind. I tried and tried to go back to sleep, but got up, got my customary two bowls of cereal and got started on my work day around 5. I sent an email to my boss asking if it was ok for me to adjust my work hours a bit today. I'm hoping that he will look upon this favorably because I'm seriously doubting my ability to work from 5-5. I know, some people do it all of the time.

Now it's 7:20 and I'm tired again. What? Baby--you are totally cramping my style. It's days like today that make me wish I was taking maternity leave like--now.

37.5 weeks--the same time my cankles arrived.

My cankles arrived today. Just fyi. Luckily, I have the most gigantic calfs (I know it's calves, but they are more cow-ish than that), so the cankles don't look awful to the unknowing passerby.

SO--not only is he considered FULL TERM, but--my roots are completely taken care of--and internetz, we bought a new bed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Is it wrong that that seems so excited? Like up there with having someone else clean my house. I think the cleaning of the house still wins, but this is close second. Sorry Griffin, you keep getting moved further and further down the list. I'm sure that will change once he's here :)

Tempurpedic KING sized. OMG. It gets delivered tomorrow. I. Can. Not. Wait.

This is all.

Period.

So, for the most part, the stupid questions at work are at an all time low. I think it's because I operate under the radar. I do my thang and no one gets hurt. Or something like that. Honestly, now that our group has moved upstairs I don't see many people. It's pretty disappointing. Where I sat before I could see people come in in the mornings and go to lunch and leave etc. I had prime view of the kitchen, which really, is where all of the action happens.

Well, most days. Somedays people feel it's appropriate to chat it up in the bathroom. Like, they see you coming (don't turn around!) and stop at the door and wait... then you both go into stalls and they keep talking. Then you come out and wash your hands and they keep talking. This is where it happened this week. The bathroom.

60+ year old woman--"So have you really enjoyed not having your period?"
Me--"Yes"....

Now, don't get me wrong. I have enjoyed this aspect of pregnancy. I also don't mind if a friend of mine were to ask this, or you know, someone I am close to. But a random person I work with in the bathroom? Kinda odd.

The next day as we are walking down the stairs she asks me if I have to look to my sides when I'm walking because I've gotten so big.

No. I just kept on walking. Who says these things? At what point is this appropriate? Have I gotten bigger? Well, hells yes--I'm 9+months pregnant and have an affinity for sweets and carbs. Do you comment? No.

My moomsy has also decided that I'm miserable. I get unprovoked comments like, "I'm sorry you are miserable." The thing is, I keep attempting to reassure her, I'm not. My hands are swollen and feet started on Monday. I don't really have trouble getting around. I'm not at the "get this kid outta me" stage. So, I'm pretty content.

The inlaws come this weekend. Our LAST weekend visitors before Black Baby makes his arrival. To say I'm thrilled would not quite do justice. No more making sure the house is clean and sheets are changed upstairs. No more making sure that there isn't change sitting on our coffee table (pet peeve), or worrying about that dog hair that is over in the corner.

I kid. I always worry about that. I effing hate dog hair.

So, I'm telling Griffin now--DO NOT come this weekend. Mommy has plans and needs some time off before you show up. Also, I need to get my hairs highlighted on Sunday (made the switch on my appointments.)

Normalacy

So, I had my 37 week appointment this morning. Everything is normal. I suppose that's what you want when you go in for these appointments though? I mean, I think the only time you want abnormal is if you go in and they are like WOW, you're 6 cm dialated and will probably give birth in the next hour and it won't hurt! This has not yet been announced at any of my appointments. Everything is just normal! And I'm absolutely ok with that.

I am getting anxious about my hair appointment though and am considering moving it to this Sunday vs. next. I know, it's the little things. That, and we are STILL WAITING on our name sign and glider. The name sign is taking two weeks longer than they expected and we always knew the glider would be late because something about something about something late. That's all I remember. No details. Kinda like when I get my car fixed.

I do make sure to shower the day of my appointments so if they decide I'm in labor and haven't noticed then I'll have clean hair and my makeup done.

And, I officially have swollen feet to accompany my swollen hands. Awesome.

Le Tired.

I am le tired. tired tired tired.

I think it's partially to do with growing another human and partially to do with our tiny bed. What? I haven't told you about our tiny bed? I kid. I kid. It's a constant source of my anger management.

So, while on hold trying to defer my student loans for while I have no income I went to mattress firms website. It then told me that the full size mattress that we have is tiny. Too small for 2 people to sleep in.

(To be fair--my parents purchased it for me my senior year of college when I was a lonely sleeper.)

It actually said that for 2 people each person has the same amount of room as if they had a crib mattress. The word CRIB MATTRESS was used. Y'all, I carried one of those up a flight of stairs like last month. I guess it was lighter since it doesn't yet have a dead person inside of it.

(Please note past post about dead people hanging out in mattresses. I would link it, but I'm tired.)

I can't sleep with my husband. I decided this last night. There isn't enough space. I can't move. When I can't move it makes me in pain. So I suppose for the next 3 weeks one of us will sleep in the guest room. Kinda sad. Well, more than kinda.

In other news--our kid better be a genius who goes to a state school and gets a scholarship. He isn't going to private school. Ever.

Ambien and a water verp.

Sometimes, though rarely, I get ambien brain. I will talk to people and not remember, once I wrote a crazy email (to friends. Not saying anything crazy, just started mid thought and didn't explain what I was talking about,) sometimes I have trouble going up the stairs. Rarely though does it affect me this way. More, it helps ease me into sleep, and helps me to STAY asleep (kind of. sometimes.)

SO I got my prescrip filled on Sunday--but insurance was being annoying and it didn't actually get filled until yesterday. OH, how I could not wait to take in your glory and fall into a restful night of sleep. I even came home from work yesterday due to my brain dumdums and attempted to nap. Couldn't do that either.

Fail. I fell asleep quickly and stayed that way until... around 3:30/4 AM. I suppose that's better than my 2 AM wake-up call that I've had every night since Sunday, but still. It is not glorious.

Now I'm laying in bed, thinking about showering, checking the fb. Maggie (our dumb dog who doesn't know how to drink out of a water bowl so she literally has to drink for 5 minutes to get any water) came in to get water. She then lays down and starts licking her paws. This is now 6 minutes of mouth noises I have endured. 6 minutes! I tell her to stop, she looks at me, and verps water on the floor. Awesome.

Happy Friday.

9 months--and how I thought I knew how to clean.

What the hell is a crenshaw melon? I've never heard of that. Griffin weighs about the same though. We actually had a sonogram/ultrasound (I'm not sure of the difference. Can I go with ultragram from now on?) yesterday and they think he weighs about 5.5 lbs. The little, trying to come up with a sweet word that is also degrading?, brat?, would not turn his head and look at us so we didn't get a very clear picture of him. They didn't do one of the fancy pants ultragrams it was just the black and white one where you can't tell what much is. Jerk. OH well. He's growing, moving, loving life. Still holding onto his feet with one hand and one hand by his mouth. Cute! Apparently he's dropped --they know this because the doctor touched his head. ew. I had blood taken to make sure I haven't contracted AIDS in the last few months, and to check my iron, and strep b something or another. Will find out next week. So, everything's normal.
(My new concern is wetting the bed. No, not the kind where my water breaks and I think I've wet the bed. No, she said sometimes you may move in the night and your bladder relaxes and you ACTUALLY WET THE BED. I'm kind of paranoid about this now. That, and not having my roots done if he makes a surprise early entrance. And not having on mascara.)

So, Glammy (aka my mom) got us house cleaners as one of our MILLIONS of gifts that she so generously got us (and Poppy--my dad, though when it comes to present picking he's often hands off.) They came today. Oh. My. Goodness.

I thought I knew how to clean my house. I thought I did a good job. I thought I was obsessive.

No. I apparently clean like a 5 year old. They got here at 8:30. I came home at lunch and they were STILL HERE. They left at like 12:45. It now smells all chemically clean (you know, the good kind where you KNOW it's clean.) The baseboards are clean, our blinds are clean, clean clean clean.

I mean, I love this baby that I've been growing for 9 months and all--but today may be my favorite day ever. Sorry Griffin. The day you are born may have to be 2nd.