The power of prayer...

I do believe in the power of prayer.

I know this may surprise you--due to my extreme cynical-heretic-ness. It is also a statement I would probably not say aloud in public, or private for that matter. There is safety in typing--clearly if we're looking at FB status'.

Anywho...

So for work for the past few days I've been in Houston, meeting with one of our groups, and visiting 2 "church plants." 2 men who were sent by the umc to start churches ("community" churches/contemporary churches") in the subs of H-town. 12 years ago when they began their journey they were nothing. But, luckily, with the power of prayer they now worship 3000 people and have an inner circle of only males. OH, and God taught them and their team members how to do things. For example--one of the worship leaders didn't know how to read music/play an instrument and now he's proficient--because God taught him. Really? G- taught him? Or someone taught him? I'm not saying that there is not Divine presence--I'm just claiming issues with language (and possibly a majority of their beliefs. Such as.. you can ordain whomever you want to be leaders (not through the umc) and call them pastors, or only men are in your inner circle. Appar. boobs= sinfulness and are only good at working with children and nurturing jobs--and should be secluded from groups unless it is a women's group and/or a "couples" group. Also, men and women whom are not married cannot fraternize with other genders because it will only lead to sinfulness. As does drinking...

So as I sit, drinking a glass of wine, I'm contemplating life's mysteries. Such as--why do I feel like a stuffed sausage in my jeans? (oh, I have not been running and eat pizza 1x a week and drink wine every evening.) Why am I sinful? (because I drink wine.) Why do I want children? (because I have boobs and it's my job to care for them.) Why am I a lame-o white person? (because I do not raise hands in worship, close my eyes, lay my hands on others and usually--no clapping.)

However, I do believe in some of their purpose and their planning--(the conservies, that is.) I believe that we can come with the expectation of G- makin' things happen--instead of this being a one time event, it happens all the time. I do believe in the power of prayer. I do believe that G- listens. I do believe in the Mystery. I do believe that we each here G- in different ways. (I do love p &w songs) I cannot say that everything "they" do is invalid, nor are their beliefs.

Anywho... to remedy such things I have
a. purchased new jeans (and maybe a top)
b. ordered pizza (it's amazing and organic)
c. bought a bottle of wine (it was on special for Thursday for $7)
d. gained a bagillion pounds, walked out of a meeting because it was too much, recognized my cynicalness, and... picked up my Thursday routine of The Office.)

idk, whatev

So I'm at work in what feels like... FOREVER. Not that I haven't been working, but I haven't been at my actual place of employment in ages. I'm le tired. And annoyed--for multiple reasons, but I'll only mention one. EVERYDAY at like 12:15 my computer goes on hiatus. I ask it to do things and it's response, "idk. whatever." Seriously. I think my computer is a 13 year old girl who is secretly lashing out in her attempts to gain autonomy. I'm sure I'll come back next week to find it wearing lipstick, too much foundation, and not enough skirt... possibly spouting phrases like, "But HER mom lets her do it!" and I'll say, "Well, her mom is the devil and if you go live in their house, as I will allow you to do for the next 3-5 years, you will turn into an after school special starring Tori Spelling." Then, I will condemn myself for being an awful mom and drown my sorrows in 8 packs of 100 calorie snacks.

Speaking of 90 calorie snacks. My new fave are the quaker mini delights in chocolately mint. AMAZING. (I've had 2 packs today--one for breakfast.)

This is ok, because in a few weeks I start training for a run again and will whip my arse into gear. Well, if I don't start running now, perhaps the first run will indeed punch me in the face and then I will not be able to run for a week and the cycle will continue. We'll see though. Schedule so far :
Monday--track or a core class
Tuesday--hills
Wednesday-core or swimming
Thursday--track and spin class
Friday--off
Saturday--long run
Sunday--off

Surely I'll lose 800 lbs? Or workout just enough to eat sloppy nachos--with fajita chicken and/or beef. Seriously. Read the description.

And tomorrow-fri I go to Houston. Only to return for a HUGE meeting which I lead on Monday. I hate speaking in public.

It has been brought to my attention

... by looking in the mirror, that I am apparently 13 and not 29. Why oh why is my face breaking out? I mean, I'm getting ready to blame it on my love affair with Edward Cullen. I'm sure that some of you out there (I have a vast assortment of readers, clearly) think I should apologize to BAB for this blatant discussion. HOwever, B does not feel it necessary to read about my shinanagins publicly, when he lives with them day to day. Like yesterday, when he told me the world "lunal" does not exist. Or when I asked if onions grew on trees like apples. (they don't, appar.) Or when I asked if I got an upgrade on my engagement ring someday (as likely as onions on trees.) Or when I asked if we could name our daughter Bonita Black. (no. we are not with child. fyi).

So--give me some enlightenment. How do I remedy this situation? (not my stupidity, but the face situation.) I need insight. I need direction.

Dear Pepsi.

Why, oh why, would you put up a billboard that says, "Sody Pop"? We do not use this lingo in the TEX. It would be more fitting if you put up a sign that says "coke" and uses your red white and blue bubble thing for the o. I mean, we say coke for everything. We don't understand this foreign lingo.

PS. My BFF is having a BOY. Love her love her love her. Here's a picture of us comparing bellies. Mine because it is the way it is, hers because she's growing a being.

The verdict is still out, but...

I think I'm too old to wake up to queso (that's "cheese dip" to all of you non-Texans. Or, a "bowl of cheese," if you prefer) on my keyboard... because I wake up at like 7 am--no longer at 11 am.

Thoughts? Remedies?

Going green left me in the dark.

SO, I am at the second addition of the "old white man conference." I'm staying at this fabulous place with a fabulous view (of the super down lake), having a big ol' bed to myself, watching vhs tapes, and schmoozing. Anyway, so today is EARTH DAY. Lovely. We planted flowers this week in honor. Ok, not true. We planted flowers this week because they're pretty and we like them--but it nicely coincides with Earth Week.

Anyway... here I am at this place and in the building where we hold our meeting. I go to the restroom and it has one of those motion sensor lights so that they don't just leave lights on all the time in hopes that someone is using the facilities. GREAT. Until you sit still too long... THEN, during your "biz-ness" you have to stand up and wave your arms. I mean, I'm glad to do this for the environment, but it's kind of a pain in the arse. Not gonna lie. I'm all for reduce-ing, reusing, and re-cycling. I mean, I wear my jeans at least 2x, unless they smell smokey from people trying to kill me with their 2nd hand smoke. I also tried the good for the envro glass cleaner (sucky.) I mean, I'm basically saving the environment and stimulating the economy all by myself here. (PS. The gap--which is touch and go--has had fab-u stuff lately. Including an extra 25% off of their sale things right now.)

ALSO--very important--I leave for Italy ONE MONTH FROM TODAY!!!!!!!

Also Also...my bff finds out what the sex of her baby is tomorrow! I can't wait!

Seriously?

Seriously, TLC? You are showing something about women who didn't know they were pregs... to full term. Really? This one lady had twins. I'm saddened for dumb people.

since I left annie at home...

Ok, so today--another long day--full of food. I had to get up again super early so I could go get our speaker at the airo puerto. Anyway spent the day listening about generosity--very fun--and then drove him back. I decided since I was done "early" today I would stop and go shopping. I mean, when someone works hard they should buy themselves presents, right? (keep in mind I seriously was listening about how to spend responsibly today...I think I'm born to live outside of my means.) Anyway, I went shopping with the intent to purchase. I bought... bobby pins. Yah. Granted, they are fancy shmancy rhinestone encrusted bobby's from Banana, but still. Really? That's what I got? I considered getting a massage--but I am quite sunburned. SUCK. I also bought some wine and got some sushi to bring back to the hotel for dinner--and ate--A LOT while watching the biggest loser. Does anyone see a problem with this? Um, maybe. I've GOT to start running again (and not eating as much.)
ok, and... our next conference doesn't begin until noon tomorrow. Do I go to work first? Thoughts? I think I should... ug. I'm just so so tired.
Other serious problem of the evening... I'm watch SVU (as I normally do... even though I've seen this one).................anywho.... The serious problem is that the victim they showed at teh beginning of the show has on underpants that I own. OTHER problem. Santa, aka my mom, bought them for me. Next probs--most uncomfortable things ever. Other other problem, does this mean I'm skanky?
(just fyi... spell check doesn't understand the term "skanky"

Just when I thought it was safe to rid myself of my vhs tapes.

it isn't. Here I am at this fancy resort place on Lake Travis... I FINALLY get to come to my room--excited about my large bed and tv watching only to find that I neither have a tv guide channel thing AND the tv is a tv/vcr combo. Wow. I mean, I won't lie we just got rid of the one from our bedroom (that I got my freshman year of college from santa), but I don't live on lake travis or at a fancy resort so I've cut myself some slack here. You never know when you might want to watch The Wedding Singer of 8 tapes of the Sound of Music.

Today has been LONG. It started at 3:30am and here I am giving up. Well, "giving up" I went to the evening session that I was supposed to stay at for "15 minutes" which turned into 1.5 hours. What do I do tomorrow? Get up, drive an hour to the airport, sit through more sessions, then drive the person back to the airport. I believe I will reward myself with some wine in my hotel room and perhaps a stop at the banana.

Seriously. a vcr. What the hell am I supposed to do with a vcr and no wine? I suppose I'll do more work, take an ambien, and sleep diagonally in this gigundo bed.

ocd, add, dd, blech.

So, I've been crazy busy with work. I'm traveling a out--even just with in the atx. Anyway, I begin my stay at lake travis today and for the rest of the week... which means i'm not in the office, even though I have work to do---oh and I'm out of the office sun/mon also and then leave on wed to head to Houston only to come back on Friday and apparently be prepared for my big meeting on the following monday. It makes me exhausted to think about... so exhausted that I woke up at 3:30 am and shower and packed and then got myself to work by about 5:15.. AM. Seriously people, this is not normal or ok. I have all of these "technical" things to do today and have no clue how to do them. Yikes. scaryville. Um, put up a projector? no clue how to do that? Where is that computer I'm to be using all week? No idea. Do we have cords for that?

Basically... I need a good nights rest where I don't wake up freaking out about the 5 million things I have happening at one month.
2 conferences this week--staying at the vintage villas
Sunday-Monday--Board meeting--staying at the Omni Downtown
Wed-Fri--visiting a group--staying in Houston
Monday--Facilitators meeting that I RUN (scary to me) here at the office
the following sat--Ben leaves for Japan for a week
The week after I have A HUGE event here in Austin and the day after that we go to Italy.

I'm sooo excited about Italy. I just feel like I can't quite get my feet underneath me long enough to make it all happen. I'm getting there... I'm getting there.

In a plus note--we planted flowers this weekend! I'm really excited to see them!

WTH?

I have an odd fascination with Cheer for Colors. Yes, the blue bottle. Little rainbow. DELIGHTFUL aroma. I seriously will sniff myself all day when wearing items washed in this fantastic liquid. Um, but apparently they don't make it anymore? WTH?!?!? Perhaps it's the same but just in different packaging?

So, if you were at target the other day watching some strange woman open and smell all of the liquid detergent... it was me. I'm sure I lost some brain cells and many moments of distress over this change. Why oh Why do you have to mess with me and my loves?

Also, Oprah... you have on too much purple eye shadow today. Lets take it down a notch.

Which came first?

So I'm having these crazy back pains. Seriously, for the last few days I've been moving like an old person who has decided they need to workout and went on a vigorous walk that ended in extreme body aches. This then leads to not being able to workout and the cycle continues...

But which came first, my back aches (beginning about a month ago) or my "mom" hair? Or was it when I began my penchant for my mid-life crisis wardrobe and wearing flats? Or is it the joy I find in watching Law and Order? Who knows? Who will ever know?

I blame part of my back aches on the fact that we need a new mattress. I've had mine since I was a senior in college. I also blame it on the fact that I would like to have a LARGER mattress. I mean, I got this one when I was sleepin' alone. Ben and I have been married for what, 4.5 years? I got to take up the entire bed before and now I have to share? I need to reduce my body space? That takes practice. It could also be related to the fact that I sit at a desk all day. Or that I'm stressed? Or that I need to work out more? Or that my body is revolting because it wants new clothing and shoe items? or a MASSAGE!

I leave for Italy in 38 days. I need to be sans back aches, down 5 lbs, have glorious glowing skin, amazing yet comfortable footwear, new luggage, travel sized items, and a lot of rest.

Bring it.

Everytime I come here, you talk about the Resurrection. Reverend, you are in a rut.

I heart the Easter services. Good Friday is my favorite... but perhaps, I realized on Friday night, that part of my adoration has changed due to the olympics. So the Christ candle walked out of the sanctuary at the end of the service, and I should be moved. Right? However, in my stirring of being moved, I immediately remembered the opening ceremony of the olympics where one lone child skates all over the rink carrying a lantern. Oh Lord... I am troubled.

I had a fab-u weekend. It was filled with babies, family, relatively good weather, and a couple of adult beverages. Nothing says Resurrection like a little Gingerman after the Friday service. We go there every year--sadly, we were not joined by my sis and bro-in law or Nick and Erin this year due to... the baby boom. I'm relatively sure I can now use this term as the crazy amount of my friends/family having babies currently is overwhelming. I mean, hey... it's spring, right? I think that in this time of extreme economic troubles that babies are such a promise. It means we still have hope. Or, that when we don't have $ to go out we stay home and watch movies. Or something?

And yes, in case you were wondering, I do still get an Easter dress every year. And no, I am not 8 years old. I stumbled across this delish little dish at banana in November or something for $15. It was on SUPER clearnace (read $15) and a size 2 and it fit. (please note, I do not wear a size 2, but perhaps was more intrigued to buy it because it fit. And yes, I did note the size because I want you to be le impressed.) Luckily, I retried this dress on early last week and noticed that it had makeup all over it (probs part of the super clearance), and that blue underpants were not going to cut it. I mean, maybe if it was a place I'd never been I could give them something to talk about, but alas, this was the church where Big B grew up and where we got married, so I forwent the urge to become part of a Bonnie Raitt song (in my size 2 dress. Did I mention that part?)
(perhaps I should also say that basically everything I wear I could also wear when pregs because it has no shape.)


Woah. I'd say more, but our pizza just got delivered.

Lets hear it for the boys...

I begin my week dramatically unbitter (except at myself for not having lost any lbs as I had promised myself I would do.) It's a short week. I had a fabulous weekend that even included some pool side sitting and beverage drinking. I cleaned the bathroom, made some food for a friend who had a baby, went to the grocery store, ate whipped cream. What more can a girl ask for?

I'm going to contemplate this as I work from home today and desperately attempt not to read my new Jen Lancaster book... A Pretty Fat.

So perhaps we can think about things I honestly believe--
1. You can get in shape while laying in bed and thinking about doing sit ups. I really do believe this. It's mental preparation.
2. Whipped cream can indeed make your life better when eaten directly off of a spoon or a beater.
3. A new outfit or 2 can change your life.
4. A pretty day is made better with company and Whole Foods.
5. My dog snores louder than most.
6. Flowers instantly make my house look better. I try to have them once a week.
7. Jeans that cost a lot of $ really do fit better.
8. Mascara will change your world and the way others view you. They will begin to treat you like royalty.
9. I love food in taco form.
10. If you pretend your debt doesn't exist you'll just find some more. I'm good at this. I should purchase a new gigantic bag with which to carry it all around (my debt that is.)
11. I'm scared I will not be prepared when I have children. I don't carry much in my purse so how can I be? Perhaps I'll begin wearing elastic waste jeans in order to begin the process.
12. When I buy something on sale I'm actually saving money.
13. I can stimulate the economy.
14. I have lovely stories in my head.
15. I will be a fabulous boutique owner.
16. I require a lot of "things" to be me :)

7 is holy

SO, I have 7 followers. This is a holy number--7 days of creation, harvest the crop every 7 years, 7 levels of hell... wait, a minute. 7 years of bad luck. This is turning down hill pretty quickly.

SO I'm having one of those weeks. You know the kind. The kind where you just don't feel like working? Ok, I think this is possibly every week for me, but lets just pretend that this is an anomaly. Anyway, I'm distracted, apparently need a new roof, just ordered some new running shoes (which means I now must begin running regularly), and I need some new sandals for Easter Sunday. I mean, if JC is coming back, we better be looking up to par... and this means new shoes :) No, this does not count as frivolous spending because it's a NEED and not just a want. But isn't it clever when needs and wants coincide so nicely?

So as I sit here stressing about how I have all of these needs and need more $ for them--new roof, new shoes, new shoes, new dresses, new spring attire, eating out, drinking wine, getting my hair done, getting other various things that make me beautiful--I wonder, how can I address all of these needs? I mean, I need them. How could I ever cut something out? Is it wrong that I could care less about the roof? I mean, it will probably hold up until we move out. Right? This color (that I got done on saturday) will only last 6 more weeks! If you ask me my priorities are definitely in line.

I also need new books. I want to go to 1/2 priced books for lunch and find them. I think they should give them to me for free. I'll see how this goes over. I mean, I'm carrying a big purse today, maybe I'll take what is rightfully mine? I'm creating my own socialist world. (No, I won't do this in real life. I have guilt like an ex-catholic.)

So to the 7 of you... can you each give (not loan) me 5 mill? That'd be great and really help me get the life to which I hope to become accustomed.

You have 7 minutes...

small things

small things bring me joy. Especially when I'm considering a trip to Italy. Today I got excited at Target (my mecca) when I found travel sized laundry detergent. I know everyone has seen it before, but it's so small and shaped just like my ALL bottle (minus the handle). This does fall under necessary spending. When you break up buying all of these small items it won't cost 5 arms and 3 legs right before we leave... all the more $ to spend at ZARA and on wine and cheese. I also purchased some travel sized stain remover for those incidents. AND, I'm being very thoughtful because the bens is also going to be traveling to Germany when we leave my other mecca. I will be traveling by myself back to the states. Sadness. Perhaps someone should purchase me a small piece of jewelry to keep me content?

Other small things I love
Elliot (and other babies)
Gizmo (and other small animals, but mostly Giz)
presents (I like these in other sizes as well)

lame train

SO, I've had many interesting and moving thoughts lately, but have not posted them as they are not bitter, but highly... nice. So, I'll give you a quick rundown as they do not "jive" with the current theme.

I was in NoLa for a conference and was in the garden district and there was much devastation around me... well, there used to be. I was being thoughtful as I was running (the only time I ran, PS, and almost died because I am out of shape.)

A theology of resurrection. It is a city who is thriving on a theology of resurrection. They have and are beginning to rebuild. Their spirits have not been broken. They are moving about their daily lives... and especially where I was, I was so struck with the beauty of flowers and nature. The flowers are growing and their world is re-creating.

This is also in consideration that a very important person passed away this week. You may remember the old minister who helped do our wedding (I believe he was 83 at the time...), his wife, a tri-delta from SMU and a very snappy woman, died this week. At the same time... (ok, not the SAME time, but you get my point) anyway... on Friday of last week, March 27, very good friends of ours had their first baby!

Here I sit, a week in a half from Easter, contemplating the realities of living in the dichotomy and promise of creation.