What you talkin' bout?

My friend Nikki requested more videos. So here is one of Fin talking. He's kind of adorable.

Then I tried to get a SUPER adorable one of me kissing him and him smiling everytime. However, I am not skilled in the self videography. Blogger just told me that isn't a word. Whatever blogger. Whatever. I mean, maybe if I were an aspiring film star, or a trashy high school kid I would have more skilz. Alas, I'm simply a 30 year old (for one more month!) who doesn't even have a video camera on her phone. What tha what? Yah. Lame.

Tubby Tuesday

So as mentioned, I started the WW (online variety.) I weigh in on Tuesdays (when close to nakers, after peeing and before consuming anything in the morning.) That's the most accurate way, right?

I'm proud to say that I lost 2 lbs since last week!

Also happy to tell you that I haven't yet starved, but I'm sure I've come close once or twice. I remedied that by eating whatever I wanted this weekend. Yum, blue cheese burger.

I just really like food. a lot.

Only 2 months ago I woke up and knew, "I'm going to be a mom today. Today is the day I meet my little boy. Today I fall in love in ways unimaginable." (Tied in with that, I also thought, "OMG this kid is ripping himself out of my body. Give me drugs. Stat!")

Already he's changed so much. He wakes up and smiles. When I wake up in the night to feed him I look at him and am amazed and this tiny being. This tiny person so intricately tied to me. He's already doubled in size. He has such a personality. He uses his whole body to do everything. He wants so badly to have control over his hands. When he wants to eat, he wants to eat NOW. I totally get that. I'm the same way. His baths comfort him. He gets very still and mellow. He wants to snuggle. He loves being wrapped in his swaddle. He loves his swing. He loves his dad's voice and will follow him when he talks. He finds comfort in his mama's arms.

How can it have been 9 weeks already? 10 on Thursday? I feel like just yesterday I was able to have him laid in my arms. Just yesterday I was able to say, "hello baby. I love you." and cry tears of happiness. Just yesterday it feels like I began my life of exhaustion, but it's so worth it.

Now I'm getting ready to go back to work. How can we already be there? It pains me. Seriously, pains me. I'm not ready, but I won't ever be ready. I cry thinking about it. I try to come up with all the things we can get rid of so that I can stay home. Eating out? Gone. New clothes? Gone. Make up? who needs it? We have to keep the dog food, though...and probably a bottle of wine or 2.

I don't want to miss anything. I don't want him to be missed at childcare. When he's having a bad day how can someone have enough time to devote to him when they have 5 other kids? How can someone else spend the majority of their day with my child? How can I only get a few hours with him? This isn't how it's supposed to work.

I have wonderful memories of growing up. My mom was able to stay home with us. Our summers were filled with playing outside, going to my Uncle's pool, and having fun. My mom was able to be with us. I want that for my children. I want them to have those memories that I cherish. Children are never aware of money... all they know is that they were loved. They were the most important thing in the world--that's part of the glory of having a baby, to make someone else feel that way because that's the only way you know how to make them feel.

My little miracle is waking up. I better go love on him while I can. Take our special days together and cherish them. For 2 months you have consumed my life. You have taken over every waking, and often sleeping, minute of my thoughts. I love you more everyday. I'm trying to capture everything. I know that too soon you will be grown. Too soon you will be walking. Too soon you won't need your mommy quite as much. For now though, you are mine.

Oh honey...

Have you seen this?
Is this the point in your career where you are like whoa. I can't believe it's not butter called and wants me to dance in the supermarket aisle. Sounds AWESOME!

I'm sad for Karen. (Yes, I know here name is Megan Mullally.) Pretty sure I think Will and Grace is one of my all time favorite shows, and I can't believe it's not butter is NOT one of my favorite butters. I feel there is quite the discrepancy here. Sad times Megan, sad times.

Pinot and Picasso

(Me and the original)

Last night I ventured out to my first girls night in quite some time. It was fabulously fun. These places seem to be popping up like froyo places. So I met some girls for dinner and then we headed over to this painting place. You pay an amount (and ours was sponsored by the Juvenile Diabetes Foundation so they got a donation!) and you get a blank canvas, your paints, and an instructor. So a group of girls and I began our evenings as picasso. Wait, did I mention it's also BYOB? Hilariously, we each brought our own bottles of wine.



It's funny to laugh at your selves, have a glass of wine, laugh at your friends leaf that is shaped like a penis or a national geographic boob. It's funny to laugh at yourself. It's funny to drink wine and paint in general. Our finished products.



In other news. I apologize for the lack of funny in my recent posts. Blame the baby. Seriously.

Fonda ain't gotta motor in the back of her honda

So I was putting Baby G to sleep the other night and thinking, "I wonder how I could take a picture of him without waking him up." He's moved up in the onesie size and lookin' sups cute. Then he poops. Then he poops some more. I'm admiring him. Then my lap feels warm. Like really warm. The I see... pooptastrophe. So in the quick exchange he got the motor butt.

Yep. I'm there. I'm a mom. I reached my hand down to feel of the warmth. What did I get in return?

Poo hand.

I'm that lady sitting at the table eating dinner with friends who holds her baby up to smell him. I haven't done this.... yet.

Poop hand.
Slept on spit up.
Kissed a mouth that recently spit up.
Didn't change my shirt in the middle of the night that had urine on it.
Giggle when someone wants me to hold him while he poops.

My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hun.

Pony Up

I didn't write this post, I stole it. However, we were HUGE fans of black pants back then. I didn't wear an oxford shirt, though. I still wear pearls and get teased about it frequently. I love the school. I love the style. I can't wait to get back there. A small glimpse into the "bubble."

Stolen--http://www.csdart.blogspot.com/

When I was a freshman at SMU we wore black pants and oxford shirts with pearls to football games...Playboy ranked us #3 among party schools in the country...about 60% of all students were in the Greek system...and we played pathetic (but super fun) football at the Cotton Bowl.

Today, the students look like they've walked off the pages of Vogue...the parties are still huge, the Greek system still dominates, but our football is strong and we play on campus at Ford Stadium, which means there is great tailgating before the games on "The Boulevard"... I LOVED my 4 years at SMU...but am envious of students today (mostly because of the football situation).

Anyhow, there is this amazing website called, Hilltop Glossy which chronicles the fashionable students at SMU today.
So, as SMU plays for the Iron Skillet against TCU tonight in Ford Stadium tonight, I invite you to take a look and cheer on my PONIES!!!!

GO RED
GO BLUE
GO MUSTANGS
S-M-U!

2 months

I feel like he just got here. How is he growing up so quickly? Yesterday he got his 2 month shots. He was SUCH a big boy about it. He cried way more in the car on the way to Babies R US (the place I hate). His new thing is his tongue. He's recently discovered he can stick it out so he does--all the time. It's pretty darn cute. He also likes to lick me. Weird, but still cute. How can you look at that face and not be in love? Everyday I'm amazed at HOW MUCH I love him and how much I dread going to work in only 3 weeks. Yick.

Yesterday I packed up his newborn clothes. They are SO tiny and were even too big "when we got him" (as Ben said last night. You know, when we went and picked him out.) How has he already grown so much? He's almost doubled his birth weight. Yesterday he weighed 11 lbs and 13 ounces. Was 50% in weight, 25% in height (22.5 inches) and 25% in head circumference (just had to spell check that word.) SO basically he's a short fatty with a tiny head :) LOVE HIM.

Please. Admire away.

at least she's pretty

This morning I was rocking le bebe this morning and maggie came in and was clearly trying to go lay in Ben's closet (her new fave spot.) We are trying to keep her out of there. I put out my foot as a barrier and she tries to go under. I move my foot down, back up, back down, back up. She didn't ever figure out to go above my leg or go around it.

At least she's pretty.

my arms are like target for babies.

My baby is a comfort poo-er. Seriously. He wakes up in the middle of the night and cries for me to hold him and then... he poo's. I mean, it's not just a night time adventure. It's basically always. I think that HE thinks he can't poo while laying down. I'm not sure I could either. I haven't tried, but I think it would be hard.

It's like when I go to target and am surrounded by comfort. It's like when you go to camp and don't go ALL WEEK and then you come home and you're HOME. Target is like that to me. Seriously. I love that place. Just thinking about it, though, made Little G wake up and need to poo. We're connected like that. Yesterday we got him this little halloween outfit. Now if only it would not be a bazillion degrees out AND October!

The dubya dubya

Not George Dubya, but the Weight Watchers. I joined online today. It's time to revisit self control. I signed up while eating graham crackers and nutella. I felt it was fitting. Then I put in what I'd eaten today and it alerted me to the fact that I had 11 points left. I've pretty much blew those (2 on a current glass of wine) because I was starvation station. I say tomorrow will be better. Maybe not? I'm workin on it. Operation fatty pants is under way.

It is also supposed to rain tonight and the weather was AMAZING this afternoon. Cooler and windy. The perfect day to revisit running. Unfortunately, my body is still revolting. I'm having some ligament/pelvic pain when I stand up or run. I didn't make it far before I gave up and came home. It's frustrating because I WANT to be running. I want to get back in shape (and continue to eat whatever I want) and I can't right now. I was reading up on my "problem," (which totally has a name, btw), and they suggest pain pills and physiotherapy. You know I love me some pain pills, but in the way I love elastic pants. I want to wear them because I want to, not because I have to. (Yes, I realize that makes me sound like a pill popping fiend. I'm not. I just like to pretend.)

Ben suggested some "vigorous" walking. That was also painful and I felt defeated so I just came home and had a glass of wine.

Maybe I'll start again tomorrow. Maybe Suzanne Somers had the right idea.

This is the way we roll we roll

So, technically this is 8 weeks (as of yesterday), but he rolled over the first time at 7 weeks. He's very advanced. This must be why he's been awake for 5 + hours...

It's probably not meningitis.

So, fussy baby went to the doctor this morning and had a fever. I'm basically the worst mom because I didn't KNOW he had a fever. (Though my friend told me that he's basically advanced because he's sick now and so building up his immune system for later.) Because he's so little they worry about UTI's and so did a urinalysis (with a catheter!), and some blood work. The doctor actually said to me, "It's probably not meningitis."

Do you KNOW me? Do you realize that I've worried I have had meningitis for like 10 years. I frequently check to see if I can touch my chin to my chest? I mean, this is far more of a realistic fear than sarcoidosis. My eyes were very large when she said this. I decided to not share the previous statement with her so that she didn't think I'm a crazy mom. because I am.

I then came home to dog poo on the couch and pee in the floor. Today has been basically the best day ever. Only by best day, I mean worst day. Maybe someone will deliver me some diamonds or something? Or maybe my baby will start feeling better. I'm going to hope for that one.

I also just finished off a box of nilla wafers. They are kind of like edible diamonds--only not forever.

Doc's office called. Meningitis threat is over. He has a virus. I asked if I was the worst parent ever and they assured me I wasn't. Probably in the running was this lady I saw outside of the doctors office. Her baby, approximately 3 months old, was in his/her carseat with blankets all around her. I'm thinking, wow, it's hot. That's a heavy blanket. Then I realize the mom, and her mom, are smoking right beside the baby. Then I realize the blankets are being used to prop up a bottle for the baby to eat. So, now I kinda feel better about my skills... and a little in favor of selective breeding.

IT's been a long few hours.

So, from what I read this baby should be able to sleep for more than 2 hours without needing to eat, and he does! Unfortunately it's during my awake hours. Oh well.

This morning the little stinker screamed for like 3 hours (like in real numbers 3 hours--because if it was just me being me I'd have said 8 hours. 3 is how you know it's real. I don't make up fake numbers that start with 3. Sometimes they start with eleventy billion.)

I gave him a bath to soothe him (at the end of the 3 hours) which worked while he was in the bathtub--he finally ate and fell asleep. I have transferred him to the swing so mommy can have some lunch and diet coke.

HOLY CRAP where is my diet coke? We're out. Now if Sonic could deliver... I'd tell them to bring me one (and some tater tots, and maybe something with ice cream.) I totally considered having the last glass of wine as a substitution, I mean... it IS Friday and ladies who lunch have wine on Fridays. I am created to be a lady who lunches (in some life) so that would be ok, right?

Kidding kidding... ish

I've got flair.

Well, not like the friday's kind, but a flair for the dramatic.

Hence the posts about how I'm the tiredest person ever--as if a bazillion people haven't gone through child rearing. Hehe... I said rearing. I realize that other people have been this tired before. Fo sho. I also realize that I do not really have a problem child. He's just your run of the mill--absolutely adorable, perfect in every way, mullet wearing, mohawking--baby. This weekend was gave me some renewal, though.

My super sweet hubsters took care of said baby while I ran some very important errands (picking up lip gloss and my free gift at clinique), babies r us (my arch enemy... that place makes me cra-zay), and Target (my dreamland, but I only bought the 3 things I needed and left.) THEN, I went to the grocery store (after coming home and feeding him) all by myself AGAIN. Then Ben made a delish dinner--blue cheese bacon burgers, fried sweet potatoes, and fried okra (dear weight watchers, it's time for an intervention.) He also took Fin and held him in the mornings and I went back to sleep for like an hour or so. Sounds like the perfect labor day to me!

SO, I probably won't be googling "sleep deprivation" or anything of the sort (or checking WebMD which will most likely tell me I have sarcoidosis).

It will probably tell me that I have rabies--because I do. I think I can legitimately claim that one as there was a real live bat in my house.

Want to know what else I purchased this weekend? My breast friend. Yep, an actual item with that actual name. Let me tell you. We will be breast friends until the end.

FYI

The previous post has been updated now that nights have passed and I've had some normal sleep. We're good again. I didn't drop the f-bomb either.

He smiled at me TWICE today. My heart melts.

Inappropriate? Or perfect timing?** update

So the following was after a day of insanity. Please note that it was my one night of losing it. This in no way reveals my character :) I love my baby and that he has a new sleep habit of sleeping from like 8-1! (well, 2 days in a row, that is.) So, don't feel too bad for me. Though if you feel bad enough to send me presents--feel free.

So I'm like sup's tired today. Le bebe decided basically to not nap today. (Perhaps because of my influx of dairy the day before, but whatever I blame him.) This lead to one tiz-ired mama. So we get home, I feed him and put him to bed... at 8:30. I stayed awake waiting on a phone call that I knew was coming and then was like, at this point, I need to not fall asleep because he'll wake up.

WTF it's now 12:15. Can I drop the f bomb with a baby? I mean, I wouldn't say it TO him. Ok, maybe I would... but only right now while he's really small and formidable and kind of like a puppy where if you say it in a nice tone of voice they don't really know what you're saying.

Just sayin. I'm tired and awake with a computer... which leads to lustful internet shopping. That's the kind where you go and look at all of the things you want and put them in your "bag" and then don't purchase them.

Someone save me. I meant that not in a literal way... so if you are well on your way to converting me, you may want to stop now. Don't show up at my door with a tract and tell me about the Jesus. I will tell you how when every head was bowed and every eye was closed at my grandparents baptist VBS I got coerced into raising my hand (with one eye open) to be saved. Apparently, we Methodists got a bad wrap and some friends were worried about me. So I'm full up over here. Thanks. If you are bringing me a little salvation in some carbs and a bottle of vino... bring one of my minster friends and we'll bless it and have a holy time.

Favorite Things--baby addition (in no particular order)

The Aden and Anais Zooaroo Swaddlers. Granted, we don't use these to swaddle him but the fabric is awesome and light weight and they are great blankets. I use them daily.
Kiddapotamus swaddlers. Totally easy to use and light weight which is key for this ridiculous heat.
Fisherprice rainforest learning gym. I didn't register for this one, but a friend got it for me (her daughter loved it) and so does Griffin. It has lights and music and a lot of options. We'll probably get the jumparoo that matches when he gets bigger.
Boppy newborn lounger. He's a fan. I'm a fan. We're all fans.
Moby wrap. It's super helpful when Griffin won't sleep and I need to do things. I love holding him, but occasionally would like to use my hands. I did have to watch a couple of youtube videos to figure out how to use it, though. It comes with a huge manual and I simply couldn't follow. Mine is an eggplant color.
Baby jogger City Mini Elite. Love love love. Right now our carseat (chicco keyfit 30) fits in it like a snap and go and when he gets bigger he'll transition into the stroller part. It folds up with one hand and is awesome. Love it. Ours is green.


Glamourmom full bust nursing top. It has adjustable closures in the back like a real bra--plus it has mesh paneling to hold breast pads.
Pb kids dot and chamois stroller blanket. Softest ever.

Hippy Food Box.

So the hubs and I have recently signed up for a hippy food box delivery every other week. Yesterday was the first day of our hippy-ness. I found it fitting that I also had Starbucks that morning and attempted to buy lipgloss. We're like those fake hippies that go to a hippy music festival in their bmw, expensive jeans, haven't showered or brushed their hair, and a piece of leather tied around their heads.

I'm not one of those people as I have showered EVERYDAY since Griffin has been born. You may not think that's a big deal, but it is.

Anyway, so last night we had sweet potato greens, acorn squash, and pork chops. The box is kind of awesome. We're also thinking of signing up with another hippy food company that does meat, fruit and cheeses. I heart cheese. A lot.

Anyway, so back to my lip gloss. One, they seem to only have it online even though I've purchased it in store before. The ladies at the counter look confused when I ask for the color I want. Then, Kathy, tells me how she stayed home with her baby 17 years ago, well, her and her husband, now ex, not of her choice, ran a company, and then a few years ago he had a mid-life crisis and left her and that was fine with her and she let him take everything because really, the best gift he could give her was letting her stay home.

1. I had mentioned I'm going back to work (which I don't want to do). Perhaps you shouldn't keep telling me how I SHOULD stay home. This was what she was implying in the over-sharing.
2. You're over sharing.
3. He "let" you stay home?

People be crazy, yo.

I'm not dead yet.

In case you were wondering if I died last night due to my rabies, I didn't. I did have a nice last meal of sushi and a glass of some sav blanc and then some ice cream--just in case. I mean, you never know when a bat is going to fly into your house and infect everyone.