Monday, April 4, 2011

I'm damaged goods.

I have one of those quick to cry personalities now that I have a baby. I mean, I've been a crier on certain occasions in the past. I mean, not that I DON'T cry, but I wouldn't say I'm a crier either. Well, until I had a baby and I cry when Ellen gives away cars and things like that. Oh, or if I see that show when the boss goes undercover in their on company and then does awesome things. That too. Andy any time I watch an animal movie (that's not new though).

Today, my friend whom I've reconnected with... we have MUCH shared history including her great-grandmother being the person who played the piano at my church growing up and was basically the best person ever. (She also told my sister who took piano lessons from her--after breaking her arm--it's ok if she decides not to come back. My sister is good at MANY THINGS (including always being right) but musical abilities are not her skill.)) friend sent me this blog today that brought me to tears because it's so true. Every description she gave of having a baby hit at home.

Now that I'm getting a bit more sleep (mostly down to once or twice a night feedings) I can reflect a bit more. My response to her was that I would be up in the middle of the night, for about the 5th time and was the tiredest I could ever ever be. No one tells you how tired you'll be, but honestly, I don't think I would have or could have believed them. No one tells you that your husband (and your dogs) are going to make you crazy, or that you'll sing your baby some song your grandfather sang you and it will make you burst into tears and when your husband asks "what is wrong" you can only respond with staring longingly at your baby and saying, "I just love him so much." Because you don't get it either. That deep primal love. Then you forgive your husband for making mouth noises because without his genes you wouldn't have this perfect little baby. (Then maybe you get annoyed again for something else ridiculous even though he is trying SO hard to not tip you over the edge--the edge is a lot closer right there in the beginning.)

I'm not sure we don't tell our friends how it's "really going to be" because we want to shield them, but maybe because we have mommy amnesia. I think it's a little bit of that and the fact that I honestly can't remember some of it because right now is just SO GOOD.

Well, and possibly we want to shield them. So to all of you future mommy's out there sleep now. For all of you with the teeny tiny ones (how does mine no longer fall into this category?) it gets better. Some lady at the grocery store randomly told me that one day. Then walked away with her knowing eyes.

Oh babies. Don't you just respect your mom's and friends that are moms so much more now?


jill said...

did you cry while typing this? it is all so true. and after it gets better, you hit the terrible two's and you wish you could have those sleepless nights back...unless you have both at the same time, which is what i'm dealing with. the joys of motherhood.

Deana said...

One of my favorite posts so far. By a mile.

Love to Griffin and Ben but most of all to you Little Momma.

Meg said...

Great post....and great link to that didnt make me cry (thank GOD I think I am finally over that) but it was so true and so well written...yours and hers. Thanks for sharing!

Heidi Bruch said...

Stalking from the Prentice's blog. The love you have for a child is simply incomprehensible until you actual experience it. And, you never understand how much your parents love you until you are a mama. I remember thinking the same after having my first. So so much respect for other moms. And it does get better....more than you can possibly imagine. Cheers!

A.B. said...

Heidi, I first read your name as Burch and hoped you could get me some flats from Tory.

Perhaps you could have Gordy send some?

Jill said...

I'm with you on the crying thing. After having Alexandra, I can cry on a dime. And I used to make fun of my mother-in-law for that. And now I'm becoming that. Karma sucks :)

Heidi Bruch said...

I wish. Here's the is pronounced Brooke!

Carol said...

Yes. Exhausting. And I agree with Jill above, if you just so happen to have a second child in the 2nd year of your first child's life, you will feel like you are losing your mind between no sleep and hearing "no mama!" but, ah, they are wonderful little devils.