It's 4 am.

You know what I just googled?

"What size maxi-pads to buy after giving birth"

I also just finished off a box of girl scout cookies that I opened yesterday.

Thank goodness my glucose test is done and that I'm awake alone without anyone to judge my googling and my cookie eating. They were delish, btw.

My life is lavish and luxurious--fosho.

How long will my child find me intelligent?

I'm guessing not super long. You know, like once he goes to school. I haven't been in school in a REALLY long time so his knowledge will be more fresh than mine.

I say this because--this weekend we went to dinner for my friends 30th bday (ps. I kick ass because I brought like 150 glow bracelets-who doesn't love those?)

Anyway, so back to dinner, Ben and I are talking, and this one girl mentions that her dad own's this Italian restaurant here and her last name is Mauro. Ben says to me, "You know, like that one waiter we had in Italy at x place." I stare blankly. I recall the waiter and the place we ate. And he's like, "you know, the one who told us his name was Mauro--like the ship. You know, and you said to him, "The Titanic? The Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria?"

My response--well, those are the only ships I know.

Then we laughed and he said, "I love you." (Ben speak--Bless your heart.)

It's not insomnia--just an unfortunate turn of events.

So there I was sleeping--rather soundly when... OMG someone is laying on top of me! I laid there a minute thinking he'd move, but no.
Ben-you're literally laying on top of me.
grumble, moan, kinda roll over, "yep."
Then I'm awake. I realize I need to pee. I come back to bed. Gizmo realizes he needs to be in bed to sleep at my feet. He keeps moving. I can't get comfortable. I need to roll over--which, to do so, I must sit up, move my pillow, and THEN roll over. Every time. (This would be different should we have a gigantic bed, but alas. We do not.) Then I am laying there and it hits me that I'm hungry. Maybe I can ignore it. Then I think about what we have left to do in the next 4 weeks. OMG what if he comes early. What all do I need to do at work today? Do I seriously need to pee again? I'm super hungry.

So, I just got up. I've now eaten a couple of bowls of cereal and am contemplating either trying to go back to bed, or just getting started on work and calling it a day early. I'm not sure which will be more exhausting. Working until 5, or being up since 4?

Dear bigger bed,
please come visit me soon.

Dear ugly POS couch I hate to even sit on,
please disappear.

~me

Sneak Peak

35 weeks--honeydew melon

5 weeks to go! Next week at my doctors appointment I get "checked"--which my doctor assured me doesn't hurt. I call lie.

All of the ladies at work keep telling me how fast this pregnancy has gone for them, which I totally agree. It seems like just yesterday I was running (and drinking the night away.) Kidding... I feel like I haven't run in approximately 2 years. And now it's just not safe, I tell ya. Ok.. maybe it's safe. Maybe I'm lazy. Whatever, it's hot outside.

This week Griffin is the size of a honeydew melon, apparently. He weighs about 5.25 lbs. I also became huge this week. Granted, I've said this before, but this time I really mean it. Even Ben agreed that my belly is, how did he put it, "not small." He wasn't saying this in a mean way, it was sweet... then he keeps telling me how cute I am and how he hopes I waddle soon. I kind of want to avoid the last one, but I think it's inevitable.

Also inevitable--new "over the shoulder bolder holders." (Thanks, Punky Brewster.)--and by inevitable, I meant TODAY. I've held out as long as possible, which has been a LONG time. I've now got a case of the side boob. I also have a case of the, "please don't make me leave the house after I have come home and put on a shirt that it doesn't matter if it's too short I need more freedoms." Some how I missed reading that your rib cage gets bigger which totally makes sense, but I hadn't thought about it. Hence more issues with the bra-zierres. (please note. I went to get a bra at a MATERNITY store and the lady asked if I was pregnant. I judged her skills and then didn't trust her right then and there. Seriously?)

I also have a carseat in my car! Ok, so it isn't like "in"... it's more, in the trunk. We are having someone come and give an estimate on what it would cost to clean our house and it was one way to de-clutter--and perhaps stop and have a fire department install said equipment. Maybe? Honestly, we'll probably install it relatively soon because otherwise I'll forget and I think we are finished having visitors to carry around and, as noted, we are FINISHED TRAVELING. Also, it is completely possible that I will forget and it will just hang out in my trunk for the next five weeks--then probably melt, because Texas is crazytown hot.
34 weeks (forgot to post this one, I think.)

muffins

Wikipedia describes "muffin top" as follows

Muffin-top" is a generally pejorative slang term used to describe the phenomenon of overhanging flesh (fat) when it spills over the waistline of pants or skirts in a manner that resembles the top of a muffin spilling over its paper casing.
This generally occurs when:
a person wears low-rise jeans, hip-hugger pants, and/or midriff-baring tops that are too small.
a very thin woman becomes pregnant, causing stretching of abdominal skin
an obese person loses large amounts of abdominal fat.
Skin on the abdomen that has increased its surface area due to pregnancy or obesity does not usually contract down to a smaller size, and may require cosmetic surgery to remove the excess skin folds.


It's 2 pm. It's my bewitching hour so it appears. It's the hour when my clothes feel unbearably too small. When I need to lay down. When I need just a little bit more elastic. I'm wearing a button up shirt today that where it no longer has buttons on the bottom kinda shows my belly. AWESOME. Totally work appropriate. Actually, come to think of it... it isn't just my clothes that are feeling too small--it's my skin.

Speaking of clothes--a couple of years ago I had a friend tell me that you may not realize it, but that you have to buy 2 sizes of maternity clothes. Though I totally believed her--I didn't get it. Until now. Seriously, my pants are becoming far too small and I'm NOT going to go buy a million more for like a month. So, I'll deal with the uncomfort--you deal with my skin tight preggo clothed self and my lopsided muffin top.

I hope I don't need my skinfolds surgically removed...

Newest favorite purchase.

You know... for things OTHER than baby items (which are useful--and generally cute) is thisIt's the shark steam mop. It has quite a few refillable pads and a different base for corners and other things that I haven't yet read about. All you do is fill it with water and let it steam up. It chemically free steam cleans your floors! For those of you with children, a love of clean, and a fear of mopping this is AH-MAZING. Usually, I swiffer wetjet. I think it cleans ok, but generally pushes dirt around. Probably would be better should I mop more often, but alas. I do not... and will not. Lets be honest. You also can flip the pad over and use the other side when one side gets dirty AND you just toss the pads in the washing machine! NO REFILLS necessary. I'm intrigued and in love.

I had another lovely (4th and final) shower this past weekend. Such generosity from good friends. Here are a few pictures from the weekend. We have a lot more. Perhaps I'll post them randomly. Then again, I often fail to do these things so most likely not. Maybe though, maybe.

Maggie.

She even looks kind of smart here.

And... we're back to normal.

But she's sweet. Bless her heart.

Tag. You're it.

So last week (I think it was last week?) I got tagged by my friend over at CSD Art and Illustration. It's a real life person whom I know... allllll the way back from college. She is looking super cute over there with her new baby GIRL bump. Check her out :)



So here we go!

1. Favorite Color: Blue. I really like green also. When we moved into our house (when I was 4 or 5--I had a blue room.) It's just so classic.


2. Favorite Brand/ Designer: Hmm... I have a lot of Banana. I desperately love jeans. I won't answer the pre-preg answer--my fave PREGGO designer is Olian (and Target can span many body styles.)


3. Favorite Restaurant: This is hard. I love to eat. Joe T's is number one. Osteria 832 in the ATL. And this ridonculous place we ate in Italy. You know, the night that I had a half of a bottle of lemoncello. mmmm delish.


4. Hobbies: Running, reading, buying


5. Favorite thing about yourself: I think I can blend into many different situations with different types of people.


6. What does your room look like? (color scheme, theme, etc.): I want to paint. My duvet changes ever 2 weeks between boring kacki and bright from pb. Off white floors, brown leather chair, antique 4 post bed. Last night it gained an addition of a baby swing (not sure where to put that yet) and soon a cradle.


7. If you could have dinner with 2 people (dead or alive) who would they be? :I have a hard time with this one. Obvi, not Heidi Klum. Maybe Julie Andrews and-_I would say Oprah, but I think she'd make it all about her--and this is MY dinner. I need to ponder the other one.


8. What's your next "big splurge"? :OMG. I'd really like for our "big splurges" to end. This kid requires a lot of things--though I think we now have the essentials. I'm thinking it will either be a new bed or a new couch and love seat.


9. What's your favorite joke, quote or saying?: If you know me, you know I cannot tell jokes because I don't remember all of the lines. So maybe... "That's what she said?"


10. Anything else you would like us to know about you (random fact)?!: I can lick my armpit.

I tag..........

Mrs. Preppy

Perfectly Imperfect

Real life and other randomness

Dear Heidi,

So you probs thought I was going to talk about SPEIDI, but if I were... I would have said that. Keep up.

No, I'm talking about Heidi Klum and her dannon light and fit commercials. You know, the one where it appears she is sitting in an airport? eating yogurt and slurping it up and using her fingers? It annoys the crap out of me. Real bad. I have to change the channel bad. 1. As noted, I hate mouth noises--espesh when eating. 2. Where is your spoon or spork? 3. Is something that is 80 calories really that good? Doubtful. 4. DO NOT LICK YOUR FINGERS.

Another commercial that's being played over and over here is a mattress firm commercial. This lady has 2 people come out to her house to observe her mattress? Not sure about that one. Whatevs, 2 guys are looking at it and spouting off facts about after you have a mattress for 8 years it doubles in weight due to SKIN and dust mites. For some reason, she is concerned about the dust mites and not the fact that she basically has a human body living in her mattress.

Ya'll. My mattress is like... 8 years old. It's just ONE MORE REASON that we need a new one! (Ps. that hideous advertising clearly worked on me.)

Accomplishment of the day? NOT buying a bag of pink and white iced animal cookies with the sprinkles. Yep, just went for the regular variety. Self control. That's what I'm talking about, Heidi. Self. Con. Trol.

Paid Programming

So in my awakeness of the evening I decided I need more tv shows. Why? Because there is NOTHING on at 4:30 in the morning but paid programming and other random shiz. I did watch a recorded episode of Brothers and Sisters but that was my only option. I just couldn't watch an infomercial about P90x.

What are your fave shows? What can I start recording and stock up on?

Or, maybe--just maybe--I will begin to sleep.

In other news--they are apparently roofing at work today--which smells AWFUL and there was about a 5 minute interlude that smelled like... pad. Yes, ladies--go back to middle school and the awkward girl who smelled bad. It made me verbally say "ew" out loud and consider vomiting. Or at least talk about someone behind their back while on 3 way.

PBJ

Peanut butter and jelly. Yum. I had another one for dinner. I also went to bed early and then woke up to my husbands elbow in my lower back and snoring. Then, I switched beds in hoping of going back to sleep.

Fail. Epic fail.

And I was hungry so....

Yay 4:30 am PBJ.

34 weeks.

"The volume of your uterus is five hundred to one thousand times larger than before you got pregnant, so it's safe to say you're feeling huge and slow."

Awesome. Black Baby is now apparently the size of a 5lb bag of sugar. He is hindering my ability to eat mass quantities of foods. I mean, this isn't to say I can't eat all day, because I can. It's just that in one sitting I can't eat much because I get too full. Sadness.

I did consume a pbj for breakfast this morning--and considered bringing it for lunch, too. I thought that MIGHT be a little overboard. Seriously, I had a pbj sandwich (no crust) everyday from kindergarten through 5th grade and then stopped cold turkey. I didn't have another one until I was about 25. I (transferred to the occasional--if necessary--pbh option.) I also do not eat little debbie's snacks for the same reasons. Honestly, they make me overly vommy to even think about. I don't allow them in my house. Should Ben want a box he would have to move over into the food hoarder territory and stock them upstairs in his office.

OH but the pbj. Yum. How I delight in you. Currently loving the Mara's natural pb and central market raspberry preserves. I mean it's protein and fruit right? What could go wrong? I'll let you know at tomorrow's doctors appointment when I weigh in.

Currently up 20 lbs.
Bellybutton--super shallow
Cravings--still getting a sno cone like 3x a week
Sleep--other than my night of misery that included 1.5 hours--pretty good. I could use more.
Nursery? Sloooooowly coming together.
Showers--3 down, one to go. (Just had a work one yesterday and they got us a really nice gift card for our video monitor!)

Another 34 week problem--I accidentally just wrote on my face in sharpie (and had to buy bigger comfy underpants yesterday.)

Can't sleep.

I've been sick this weekend and my parents came to visit and tonight... I go to bed.

Can't sleep.

I'm now up at 1 am (haven't been up at 1 am in QUITE some time.)

I've also eaten 2 pbj's. I haven't had one in approximately 3 years.

Dear Crispitos,

Today is the first day of camp. Well, it's the first day of camp for me and the counselors and the kids show up tomorrow. Today is the first day of amazing summer adventure that doesn't involve any sort of beverages other than diet coke, maybe a dr. pepper, and a whole lotta water. (And, if popsicles count here... then I have them, too.)I started going to camp when I was 10. I had the BEST time and went every summer (winter and fall) after that until I graduated from high school. We have to sit out one year after our last (summer after fresh year at college) before we can come back as adults. I did. I still visited camp one night, and then have been coming back as an adult since then--with about the last 4 years as a co-Director. To say that camp defines me wouldn't be me exaggerating. It's home. It's the twin sized bed I've come to know and love. It's the mass amount of heat that is stifling and life giving. It's where I met my husband in January of 1998. It's where we talk about our life, our love, our faith, and our future.
It's also the place where I laugh like I've never laughed before. A place where I get to ask high school kids questions in ways maybe they haven't heard them before. I get to see their faces change because camp is a place where they get to be truly "them" without people judging (unless you eat 45 corn nuggets in a made up competition. Then I judge you a little. Or when you tell me that your mom gives you benedryl when you have a tummy ache--then I judge a little because your mom knows you're a little annoying too and just wants you to take a nap.) You know, small insignificant things.
It's the place where I walk down the lunch line and recognize the faces of the ladies serving our meals... because some of them have been there since I was 10. It's a place where I worked and lived one ENTIRE summer, not just one week, and it was the best summer ever. I have pretty amazing friends. Friends who I would call on for anything should I be in need.
It's a place I can't describe because I would be missing every aspect of description--unless you've been there and then you can talk about my great SUNA moves, too.

It's a place I can't go this summer per doctors requests. I love this baby--more than anything, but goodness... I'm sad I can't go.

Next year. Next year is my year. (or the kids year... I guess it's kind of about them :))

So long engagement ring.

I thought I might escape the tragedy. I woke up yesterday and it was a little difficult to get my rings off, but not impossible. I took them off multiple times during the day to make sure nothing was stuck. I showered this AM took my rings off to put on lotion and... OUCH. My fingers are now swollen. Apparently I'm gaining weight in my hands now. The weight gain wasn't happy to just be on my body--now it includes the phalanges. (I like that word and makes me think of FRIENDS.)

So... there on the counter I left my engagement ring. The ring I've worn almost everyday since December 17, 2004. It is a bit smaller than my wedding band so I'm still sporting that. Sad though.

Other random morning adventure--I tried to look at this custom baby blanket online this morning and the site was restricted and said it was "porn." I think our filters are a little strong...

Tricky.

So my baby is most likely a genius. He probably knows all kinds of random facts and how to tie knots like his dad.

That, or he is a bundle of energy awaiting his release from captivity. His newest trick, and favorite thing to do, (other than developing his antibodies this week) is to jab me in my right side and hang out there. You can feel his elbow, or knee or some sort of skinny body part. LOVE IT.

His other trick is making my belly huge and shirts seem shorter. Awesome. Luckily, I just noticed this at work before someone else did. Hello skin belt.

EXCITING THING--our stroller arrives today! I can't wait to get it put together tonight and get some pictures up. the mattress shipped today, I'm awaiting the name sign, the glider. We have our bedding (still need some sheets), car seat, dresser, MILLIONS OF TOYS, everything is falling into place.

Looking at maternity leave. I've been saying I'm working up until the day I give birth (to have more time with him), but... did any of you take time off before your little one came? Do you wish you had? Hadn't? I'm due July 28. I was considering making July 23 my last day of work... but that's one week less with the little one (assuming he comes on time--which clearly, first babies ALWAYS do.)

Waffles.

So yesterday I went to the doc with Ben. I decided to take one of my "personal days." (We get 2 a year and they dont' carry over.) I woke up fo' realz tired, yo. Anyhow--somehow our docs office is filled with old people. We actually see our nurse practitioner and she's super young. Whatevs. First of all--it took forever. Second an old man with 2 canes (2 normal canes? why not a walker? seems more efficient) came in and sat beside me. Thankfully he was called back quickly because I was trying to decide how rude it was to get up and move. He smelled of fish and rank broccoli.

Then, an old lady came in and ran into 2 of her friends "who didn't know she had an appointment today." That's because she didn't. She just walked back to the doctor area--bypassing the front desk--to tell them she thought she had leprosy. For real! Fear not y'all--she put neosporin on it.

Lastly, I overheard a guy at the front desk tell them he needed to come in again because--he lost his stool sample. Ummmmmmmmmmmmm how do you do that? Where will you find it? Grossville.

Today I show up at work and go to make a frozen waffle only to find that someone has been eating my waffles! How rude is that? Did you forget that you didn't purchase these waffles? Do I need to start consuming sharpie because I write my name on every individual one? Perhaps I could brand them...

The lastest of the last statements--we had a serious Texas storm last night. Tons of LOUD thunder and lightening all seeming to be in our backyard. Thunderstorms freak the little dog out. Like--it makes his heart beat really fast, makes him cry, makes him feel like he can't breathe, makes him want to sleep on my head, then finally he slept squished up between Ben and I. (He usually sleeps on the floor, btw.) So--I'm awake, comforting him, wishing I was asleep and ben was... asleep. He woke up to ONE loud clap of thunder. It's amazing, actually. It also stresses me out about our future.

I also sat and considered putting the glider in our bedroom until the little one moves to his own room. There is SOME clarity in the middle of the night, right?

Showers and 32 ish weeks.

32 ish, because of course, I forgot to take a picture at the right time. Oopsies.

I had two, count them TWO, baby showers this weekend. They were amazing and lovely and filled with people I love and presents.

Seriously, we got sooooooooo many things that they didn't even all fit in our car and my parents are bringing the rest! This baby is going to be well loved and has more clothes than me. (That last part may not be true--but he got a lot.) My laundry basket is overflowing with baby items including tiny socks that I'm doubtful we will have 2 of for very long. If only the organization fairy would show up and move everything from my kitchen to perfectly organized drawers and baskets in his room. I believe that this fairy and the lady who clean my house are one in the same. They each have a love for sno cones and shopping.

I bought a mattress today! So this is kind of the last large item that we need to make the room look put together. We are still waiting for the glider and the name sign to arrive. I can't wait for everything to be "done".

I'm hoping to get lots of work done on the room this week. I can't WAIT to post pictures--mostly because I can't wait for it to be finished. I'm in the midst of doing laundry, organizing, bla bla bla. Will keep you updated!

Elastic pants.

It's no secret that I have a love of the elastic--and maybe it is my favorite part of pregnancy. Well, that and the baby (and the sno cones, and ice cream, and hamburgers.) Last night we went to visit the "at home care" lady to discuss her possibly keeping Griffin. On the way home I thought to myself--I can't wait to get home and put on some elastic pants.

This, my friends, is a bad sign. All of my pants are elastic. Granted, even when not pregnant those would be my thoughts on the way home from work also. I've mentioned that I come home and immediately change into pj's yes? Ben had mentioned going to dinner after our appointment (we had pre-appointment snocones) but drove back to our house. I asked... "are we going anywhere?" I think he could see the desperation on my face and the longing for the more elasticy pants. Free at last. Free at last.

We can wear jeans on Fridays. OH the luxury. We can also get here a little later on Fridays--which inevitably is the day that I'm dressed the earliest. Not sure why this is so. I ahd time to fold some clothe sand vacuum this morning. Anyway, I went to put on a pair of maternity jeans that are now--a little too small. Granted, I could get them on, and they look ok, but comfort level is at an all time low. Pretty sure they are done for unless I lose some weight in the next 7 weeks.

People, my MATERNITY pants have gotten too small. You think I'd eat a reasonable breakfast of oatmeal and water but no. I stopped at starbucks and had a non-fat chai and a zucchini muffin. I mean, it has vegetables in it. That counts, right?

I am huge. This is all.

Picture perfect. Be advised. It's scary in here.

So, as I'm too lazy to look back and feel I should share, we got one of these name signs for Griffin's room. The first time we saw them we knew we had to have one! I LOVE it! She's local and uses antique tin so they change. She'll repaint and I like that it's a little different.

In other news... scary town. I was checking craigslist, as I'm known to do, and saw a posting for some photography. Now this lady was advertising that she does maternity sessions... which I'm kinda interested in. I didn't think I would be, but I kinda am. Don't judge. Anyway, then I go to check out her stuff and goodness...

Now, maybe you take nakers pictures of yourself while someone else is holding your bazoomba's. I dunno, but it isn't my thing. I was kinda freaked out by the whole thing.

And now I need some ice cream.

31 weeks pictures

Jazz Hands. Fancy.I kept thinking that there was something on my screen and tried to scratch it off. No, my belly button is just THAT big.

Questions like..

Do you bake chocolate chip cookies and lace them with anthrax? Or arsenic if we want to get all Flowers in the Attic referency. (Seriously, y'all. How crazy was VC Andrews and my moms ability to let me read MULTIPLE of her books... that came in series. Yet, I wasn't allowed to leave 6 Flags to eat. I mean, we did, but we weren't allowed to. And people are worried about Harry Potter?)

This week we are visiting TWO care options for Black Baby (whose name is Griffin--that when shortened for a while was Grif, but we've decided we like Fin better.)

Tomorrow we visit this AMAZINGly expensive school that teaches sign language, spanish and has baby yoga and a dedicated sleep area for infants. I mean, it isn't shut off from everything else, but it's separated and has different lighting that can be adjusted and and and. The ASSISTANT in the room has a masters in social work. The owner has called me back every time I've called. I'm kind of crazy impressed with them. The downfall of this is the price, the fact that they don't have PT options for infants and the cost. Though, he did say that they would work with me on him being PT for a few months. We'll see what this looks like. I also like that if the teacher is sick they still have school. Their teachers get paid vacation. I know the schedule. There's reliability. He can be there for many years because it's a school.

Thursday we are visiting with a lady in our 'hood who keeps kids and has for 15 years. She has 6 kids at a time. She teaches SOME sign language. She is much cheaper, very close, seems like a great person. Downside--she doesn't have an assistant. What happens if there is an emergency and she has to take all 6 kids somewhere? What if she's sick? She follows the school calendar (she has a lot of teachers kids) which means that I have to find something for him at Christmas time, spring break, etc. (though she is now keeping kids through the summer, and wasn't previously.) If she's sick--we're out. Things to ask--what if our child is sick or we are on vacation for a week--do we pay for that week (I'm guessing yes?)

AH so much to think about.

Should I have already made my millions I wouldn't be so worried. I would find a mothers day out at a church a few times a week and I'd carry him around to my philanthropic activities and buy him a custom swimsuit. I'd also probably not be worried about the gang fight that apparently erupted in a close by apartment complex this weekend that involved 5 cop cars on our street and a neighbor 2 doors down who found bloody shorts and a beeper in her back yard. Um... who has a beeper? You need to up your drug deals and get an iphone, dude. Or, that should be on your list of "things to do" to be initiated into the gang. Just sayin'. And shorts... I believe that "gang shorts" are really capri's.

So questions to ask these baby care options?