Thursday, June 2, 2011

Complaining. What? Me? Never.

Except today I will break my complaining rule and I'm going to complain.  Oh, my life is hard.  Oh, life is terrible.  Good thing our neighbor works for the girl scouts and came by yesterday with 10 boxes of cookies.  Yep.  Seriously.  I opened 4 boxes within 30 minutes.  Have I mentioned my lack of self control?  I think yes.

Not what this is about other than I came home and had a cookie.  Just one.  So far.

Today I had an ALLLLLLLLLLL day meeting.  My child is also getting some molars and so I haven't been sleeping.  ANNNNNNNNNNNNND, my ahem "highest form of womanhood" showed up yesterday.  And, I've been up since 4.  And, I went running this morning.  And my child was at day care allllll day.  And slept a grand total of 45 minutes after being up since 6:20.  And, when we went to leave Frances' house he wanted to stay with her.  And, is in a poopy mood.  Came home.  Nursed.  Wanted to stay there for eternity (him, not me.)  And is now asleep.  I've now seen my baby for a total of maybe... an hour today.

How the hell am I supposed to go back to working full time in a month?  Yes, I realize other people do this.  Yes, I realize life isn't so bad.  Yes, I realize that it's GOOD that he loves his child care provider.  Yes, I realize it's a blessing that I've been able to be part time.  Yes, I realize it's a blessing that I have a job.  But I don't wanna do it.  It makes me all anxious inside.  That, tied with the fact that we are staying in a hotel for ONE NIGHT next weekend, (First time away from him over night) and for an ENTIRE week in July.  I'm about dying.  Seriously, dying.  How did I think I could direct a senior high camp?  Who thought that was a good idea?  (I still do, just not as much right now.)  Why didn't I realize that my "grace period" is ending?  How will he make it through his first fourth of July without me there?

wahhhhhhhhhhhh.  How many cookies do I get for this?  Because as we all know life should be compensated with treats.

8 comments:

CDS said...

Awww...pobresita. I'm sorry...listen I work full time...some days I only spend 2 hours with my girl...it sucks, yes, but it makes the weekends that much more precious. xoxo

Deana said...

Aunt Neena prescribes a half-sleeve of Thin Mints (they're so thin, three count as one), a handful of Trefoils (they're just shortbread which is basically just like Graham crackers. And Graham crackers are healthy, right?), and 4 Samoas (aka Caramel Delites) that have been warmed for about 10 seconds in the microwave (trust me). I was a Girl Scout myself, so I'm an expert at the cookie prescriptions.

Seriously, though. I know it's an overwhelming day, but you'll get through it with the same grace and stubborn determination that you are known for. And you'll come out with great stories and lots of smiles. Because you're Amanda. And that's just how you roll. I love you bunches, little one.

Carol said...

it IS hard. Hard hard had. But you will adjust. and then you'll have set backs. and then you'll readjust. You will cherish your weekend family time and guard it like nobody's business. AND eventually they stay up a little longer in the evenings. It gets better.

A.B. said...

I know we'll make it. Thank you for the encouragement ladies. I had a little bit of a better outlook after a glass (or 2) of vino and a pedicure. Sigh. Being a grown up stinks sometimes.

Why did I go to college and have loans? if I didn't... life would be fine.

Jill said...

Amanda - call me! I'll give you a big pep talk. Working full time is so hard but as Ceci said - it will make your time with Griffin that much more special. And it gets so much easier each month - the older they get. You'll do great away from Griffin. The first time I left Alexandra overnight, I cried and cried. I was such a wreck. But it somehow got easier and now she asks to go to Grandma's house. Seriously - call me and I'll help you through it. You can do it and will do great!

SpeasHill said...

So so so so hard! I'll be officially full-time, too as of July 1. Not completely thrilled about it - but happy(ish) that this way my kid will be less likely to be tempted to sell her body to pay for college. As long as she goes to a public school. (Not that we'll actually be getting to save for college - but we won't be accumulating bookoos of worthless debt in the meantime.)

Meg said...

The more I miss my kids, the more I like them when I see them. Meaning the less I get annoyed with their cute little imperfections. Making their brushes with death fewer and further between. In all honesty...you'll be okay, but I get it. Take an ativan and add a splash of vodka to your OJ in the mornings...nothing better than a drunken amnesia.

Jeannie HD said...

I am not seeing E at all today and I am miserable. Stupid Sallie Mae.