FML.

Dramatic?  Maybe.

came home to standing water.  In our house.  And by standing... I mean, pouring out of our garage when we opened it.

Holy Eff.

It could be worse.  It could be worse.  We could be out of wine.

Waiting to hear if we have to stay at a hotel for the next 3 days. With a toddler sounds... less relaxing that it used to.

Mammy-o-gram

So, because it's Friday we often have people bring treats into the office.  Today there were kolaches AND bagels AND cream cheeses.  Yum. And, because I'm on the WW I only had 1/2 of the bagel (and then considered that I should run 8 miles tomorrow instead of 5 because girl likes to eat... and have drinks.)  ANYWAY my obsession is not part of this postings.

Lady who recently lost her brother to Leukemia:  Do you know of any other cancer 5k's in town? 
Me:  actually there is a new one that is an obstacle course
Her: ummm... no.
Me:  list list oh, and Susan G Komen, but that isn't until November.
Very Old Lady also in Kitchen:   Well, I certainly wouldn't give any money to that Susan B Komen. (yes, you read that right.  Susan B.)
Other lady: because of Planned Parenthood?
Very Old Lady:  Yes. 

Now--let me tell you.  I don't care what your political opinions are.  I don't.  And I'll tell you mine which may make you mad, but I don't really care so don't send  me an email about them.  I'm for planned parenthood.  I'm for what they do.  I'm for there being a health provider for people who lack insurance.  I'm also for a persons right to choose...but, that isn't ALL that planned parenthood does.  Just FYI

Me: Actually most of their money goes towards...
Very Old Lady:  Abortion.
Me:  no... that's actually only like 1% of their budget. 

I was actually informed that Very Old Lady also says mammy-o-grams.  Yep.  She really exists.  Also the lady who thought she was wearing contacts.

The reason it was 92 in Austin yesterday is because global warming and the apacolypse is starting here.  It started with the Rick Perry and his presidential campaign.  And there... is my allotted political speak for 2012.  At least he has good hair.  (Side note--I was also alerted that one lady said that he is almost to liberal for her.)  Which leads me to the question that we are all asking--WTF?

A Little Late?

On Jan. 8 was my 7th anniversary.  Ben and I have been together for 15 years.  Unfortunately for him I had to have him do the math.  Our first date was Feb. 14, 1998.  We saw a scary movie (that I had already seen... ok, not that scary, but scary to me.)  We had Starbucks afterwards.  We were giddy.  We dated a long ass time.  & years before we got engaged.  8 Before we got married.

Yah, Glee just inspired me about love (before the whole car accident thing.)  We met when Ben was 17 and I was 18.  It was love.  Then and there.  He makes me crazy.  Makes me laugh.  I can't imagine my life without him.  Our wedding day was amazeballs.  I loved it.  Minus the wanting to vomit for a while.  (if our scanner was set up you could see a professional picture of me wanting this... can between legs.  wedding dress.  on.)

And yes, our wedding was huge.  we're from Texas, yo.

drum drum everybody drum.

seen that 'Street?  My kid is obsessed with drumming.  And beating his drum sticks on EVERYTHING loud.  Today, new, the wall.  which I told him not to do (while photographing) and jumping on his chair (which I totally told him he's supposed to sit in and not jump--especially not with big ol' sticks... while I was photographing.)  I know, I'm a bad mom.  I also let him watch a lot of TV while he was super fussy today.  totally not my fault.  I was also fussy since I ran FOUR miles of hills this AM.  Even after core last night--the place where I pretend that I am totally fine.

And showing his bazoomba's/climbing and diving onto the couch and trying to do a forward roll.  New favorite thing.  I plan on making some $ on that babies gone wild business.  Kidding.  That sounds weird, right?  Yah... it does.  I didn't mean it.

And finally G loves having a picture taken.  Loves.  Looooooooooves.  CHEEEEEEEEEEESE.  and "more more" chanted over and over.  It's cute.  

Also exhausting today.  So I let ben take over in the bathtub while I enjoyed a glass of vino and made some dinner.  For me.  Because Ben went out.  Which means I've watched 2 episodes of Chelsea Lately and plan on other brain rotting material.  I mean, I have to rest these abs with vodka.

yellow skirt?

Yes, please.  I plan on owning this outfit.

Lets get intimate.

Clearly, I know that YOU want to know what bra's I'm wearing.  I mean, right?  Why wouldn't you?  So as my bazooms are now worn out and saggy and the 18 year old girl at VS had no idea what to do or how to help me last year (but I still bought 2 over priced bra's that I've continued to wear sadly) I gave in and owned my old lady card and went to Soma yesterday.  Oh yes.  The place attached to Chico's?  Went there.  And these bra's fit better.  Which means, hello old lady sad boobs you have new life breathed into you now!  (and by life I mean some underwire and a good shape.)  And they were buy one get one 50% off.

And this one

Oh yes.  That's a front clasp.  And no, that isn't me modeling.  I thought about taking a picture of that, but then realized that our bathroom is a mess and I'm too lazy and have more fat rolls and less editing skills than is necessary.

Third week of core.  Holy hell.  When am I getting ab muscles?  I also ran hills this AM and was instantly sore.  Why the hell did I stop working out?  remind me.  Never.  Stop.  You are over 30.  You do not bounce back the way you used to.

Also an event in my life--Bethenny Ever After is back on new.

V-day. Overrated. I bought in.

We started with some heart shaped nana's and waffles.  With syrup.  Which he then brought me the bottle of and kept asking for "more more."  Uh... no.

They made heart shaped cookies at Mrs. Frances'.  Which he got to bring home 3.  I ate 2 of them.  Sorry, fool.

and some pinterest inspired valentine cards.  love them.

And a new placemat... and sectioned plate... and cup... and heart shaped grilled cheese (mostly untouched) and heart shaped strawberries.

Clearly, it was fun.  The pink yogurt is circumstance.  It's how we hide the antibiotic.

Our love story

So I'm linking up from Perfectly Imperfect to talk about our luuuuuuuvvvvvvvvvvv story.

1. How long have you and your significant other been together?
1. Oh lawsy.  15 years.  I couldn't do the math, but I had Ben do it last night.  Our first official date was on Valentine's day 1998.  I gave him a heart shaped sucker.  I also wore a button up shirt under a bulky sweater and trouser navy cords.  I know.  hawt.  
2. How did you meet?
1. We met at a Love, Sex, and Dating retreat.  Ben's bff was one of my good friends and Nathan brought Ben on the church retreat.
3. If you're married, how long?
1. 7 years on January 8th.  
4. If you're married, where did you get married?  big or small wedding?  
1. We got married at first UMC Dallas.  It was huge.  I wouldn't have such a big wedding now that I'm older.
5. Do you have any nicknames you call one another?
1. Ummmmmmm The Ben Black.  Benihana.  BenHAmin.  He calls me "sweetheart" when I say dumb things.
6. How did he propose?
1. At a restaurant.  I was completely caught off guard.  Assured him they thought it was our first date and when he said, "I love you..." I just said "I love you too."  not realizing there was more to the story.  He also didn't have his ID on him and so they told me I could order a BIG glass of wine and we could share... but then he realized he had a fishing license on him and it's a legal document.  Saved.
7. Is he a flowers and teddy bear kind of guy or strawberries, champagne and rose petals?
1. Um, neither one.  Probably more the last one because the man loves him some champagne.  We do cards.  He sometimes gets me choc covered strawberries.  Randomly flowers.  This year a photography class.  We don't normally do gifts.  I think of V-day kind of like NYE.  Totally over priced and ridiculous.  though I did go all out for G$ with heart shaped food.
8. are you a sunset dinner on the beach kind of girl or pop in a movie and relax on the couch?
1. I dunno... Am I on vacation?  Then yes.  Otherwise, undergarment free and in pj pants watching New Girl?  hells yes.
9. Tell us one thing you'd like to do with your significant other some day?
1. Travel
10. Tell us what you plan on doing this valentine's day?
1. Ordered sushi.  Drank wine.  watched tv.  
11. Are you asking for anything this valentine's day?
1. Do people really ask for something?  Again.  Absurd.  So you know... like diamond earrings or something small.
12. Tell us one thing about keeping a relationship strong and full of love.
1. Laughter.  Sarcasm.  Paying for a babysitter every now and then.
13. Show us a picture of what love means to you.  
1.   Unfortunately our scanner isn't set up or you'd see a picture of me with some sort of head adornment, kacki full length overalls and a button up shirt as a jacket or some other hideous outfit that was in style in 1998.  So I'll give you this.

Crack. G is on it.

I gave it to him.  The crack.  He had his first thin mint.  I won't lie... this is parental sacrifice.  I gave up a cookie. And a frozen one at that.  Basically, I clearly love my child and if you couldn't tell by my taking him out with an ear infection then you now know it's true.  I love him.  More than life and frozen thin mints themselves.  He wasn't in love.  Which made my love go down one degree.

First view of the duh-dee.  Seems like pure bliss.  Or taunting.

WTH is this?  This isn't a nilla wafer.  

I guess I'll let it slide.  It's ok.  Mama, Mama why are you looking at me like that?

bah-bee

G$ is fascinated by the potty.  And going potty.  He likes it.  Mostly.  

mostly it leads to G running around without pants.  Which is also adorable.  Check out those thighs!!!  They've gotten so skinny.

Fitness.

Griffin needs to work on his core muscles so we enrolled him at the Little Gym.  Kidding.  I bought a groupon.  And he needs a workout.  He can't hold on to the bar.  EMBARRASSING.  For me.  Kidding.

I'm so artsy, right?

You can't even tell he has fever and an ear infection... or 2.  What?  ear infections aren't contagious.

Driving the hula hoop.

don't judge.  I just came from working out.

Post forward roll.  Which he couldn't do last weekend... but can this.  STOP GROWING UP.

Toughgirl skirt?  Yes please.  The balance beam is a HUGE hit with G$.  (Ps.  The skirt/pant running option is a big hit in the ATX.  And, it covers my massive booty.  Which is a bonus.  And almost impossible.  And helps when it's 30.  I know lots of you live where it's 30 regularly.  I praise you and your winter attire.)

Up high.  down low was completely confusing.  

Jumping like a frog.  Sweaty band is a life changer.  I think G needs one for his fitness.  

The rings.  Thank goodness he can hold his own.  Kind of.  I mean, not his own weight, but you know... like when someone is holding him on.  He loved it.  

so proud.  Which makes mama proud.

Sweet dada.

This tongue thing is new.  

Give me that ball, mofo. 

Kidding.  G doesn't say that word.  yet.  

Another item to remove from my "at home" language.

vodka

How you know I'm crazy.

Well, lots of things.  Probably like that time I tried to do my own bikini wax.  Or when you know... everything else about me.

Well today at target after I had checked through all of the sectioned plates and thought about all of the things I'd probably forget and then bought G a placemat for V-day, I went through the clothes.  I mean, there are CLEARANCE racks for goodness sakes.  Then, because I'm crazy, and because my mom is obsessed with a deal and has passed this gene on to me, I purchased maternity jeans.  They were cheap.    I couldn't not.  Y'all.  I'm weak.

I'm not pregnant (mom, sister.)  I'm not planning on being preggo anytime soon.  Though clearly, it's on my mind.  I so thought i'd be ready when G turned 18 months.  but I'm not.  I will think I am and then I think G is so small.  I'll think OMG I'm running out of time I better dust my eggs of now!  I don't want to be 45 when my next kid is born.  Because the mom brain is crazy.  Or maybe just my own personal mom brain is crazy.  Anyone else get these crazies?  How is everything such a conflict?  Can I go from fun pregnancy to sleeping through the night phase?  Then I'm TOTALLY in.  Oh, and make me 10 lbs skinnier than I am now.  

That's G$ last year at this time.  When I still had a pack n play living in our room.  Because G had just started sleeping in his room.  And didn't sleep all night (for 8 more months.)

Anyway, I now have some additional elastic pants for my fictional pregnancy.

I've fallen off the wagon.

Again.

I've rejoined the WW.  Dear weight watchers, I rejoin you 2x per year and fail every time now that I have a child.  His food is delicious.  And my will is weak.  And I love wine.  And roman cokes.

However, I made this tonight.  I changed out the sour cream for reduced fat ricotta.  Parsley for Basil.  One egg instead of two.  wa-la.  Yum.  I mean, pasta with bacon grease?  That's my kind of diet.  I feel skinny already.  Now get me another glass of wine.

Reci-peas.

My cleverness is over the top.  You should be envious.  Because I'm awesome.  Also because I made some spinach muffins.  These do not contribute to my muffin tops--no, those are organically mine.  no, no... Just G gets the really awesome food.  These were delish, though.  One change--I would have used a cup of apple sauce instead of 1/2 cup.  And G likes to help.  And put his fingers in everything.  I semi worry about the raw egg thing, but eh?  I made it this far (almost to my Jesus age) and I ate plenty of raw batter and didn't ever wear a helmet. 

Slow cooker lasagna.  Not as awesome as I had intended.  I made my own sauce and should have added meat.  And it only cooked 3 hours and was over cooked.  I should have just made it regular style.  Or just cooked it for like 2 hours maybe?

Veggie pancakes.  I should have followed the recipe.  I used fresh basil and added carrots.  They needed salt.  And I didn't get the texture right.  G wasn't in love. 

Chicken pot pie.
I made it myself.  Made up the recipe.  DELISH.  Probably because it involved crescent rolls.

I'm trying to meal plan.  And get more options go for G in this house.  Otherwise I revert to the same cooked items over and over.  Like spinach bites, and mac n cheese with edamame or broccoli, or chicken bites or random other boring things.

Luckily, I have a new obsession with the sectioned plates thanks to Mannlymama.  LOVE them.  They really help me.  I also like how they look and having another reason to buy things at target.  And I like to buy things at target.

Like crescent rolls.

It's near and dear to my heart

This.

Remember before my blog got fancy?

Well, your memory may have faded, because I intended to post this a long time ago.  I had Jessica at Diamond Doll Design help me out as I am technilogically challenged and she has got some mad skills.  Great customer service and she went to college in Texas so I'm kind of destined to support her.  You might have to wait a little bit, forget that you signed up for the overhaul, and then get to be really excited again.  Much like the cookie fiasco of '10.

So continue to be wowed by my awesomeness that is totally attributed to someone else.

Lets dust it off.

I should have taken a picture of how dirty my yoga mat was today.  Before I clorox wiped it off.  Hideous.  Embarrassing.  Tonight I went to my first core class in a long.  ass.  time.  Thankfully there were some elderly people there which made me feel better about myself (not all older people do this... like the couple down the street who each run like 5 miles on the daily.  I often see them when I'm having my cocktail walk around the 'hood.)

I haven't yet pulled out the bumbo.  I'm sure I will tomorrow when I question my ability to sit up.  Or get out of bed.

I blame Griffin.