Why hello there

Dear Sofie,

I love you.

sugar and spice

and everything nice. That's what little girls are made of.

I'm getting a niece in May! YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

and I want this.

Wanna be bff's?

I thought so. I was reading a blog that I thought, who doesn't want to be my bff? Why pass an opportunity to over share?

1. I keep a glass of water by my bed at night... which usually means like 3 glasses. I'm like, keeping zombies away or something?
2. I will not buy less than 350 threadcount sheets.
3. I own a magic bullet.
4. I've thrown away change instead of putting it away before.
5. I make lists every time I go anywhere and check things off when I pack them. I never do that when I'm repacking to go home. Something usually gets left.
6. I'm a very poor napper.
7. I do 95% of thank you notes in a timely matter. 3% late and 4% never happen.
8. I am not good at figuring out percents... but I know a good deal when I see one.
9. I have dreams of being the most organized person ever, and knowing how to fold a fitted sheet. I think they are somehow tied.
10. My color pallet is navy, grey, black, turquoise, white and pink... and denim.
11. I never paint my nails.
12. I often save emails I really want to respond to and then never respond.
13. Allergy tests confirm that I'm not allergic to cockroaches. What? Who tests for that?
14. I love the feel of freshly shaved and lotioned legs on clean sheets.
15. I do not shave my legs as often as I should.
16. I thought the song sang, "Give me the beach boys to free my soul, I wanna get lost in your rock n roll and drift away." I still hold that that makes COMPLETE sense.

These are a few essentials.

It hurts from the experience.

So remember when I told you that we met a couple down the street who were expecting a baby this Christmas? And her midwife told her that people cry from the experience of childbirth and not the pain? And she was going to go pain med free?

Well, little one has made her appearance and we went to visit them yesterday and take some goodies. I asked how everything went. She then discussed how overwhelming the contractions were and that she needed an epidural.

I didn't say, "I told you so".... but only because I want them to be our friends. Maybe if it works out in a few years I'll remind her of the "experience?"

Remember before I had a baby?

And we did crazy things?

Like, drop it's like it's hot while singing a little Bust a move?

And take amazing pictures of myself?

And drink other peoples drinks?

And have the cab driver steal my phone? lose my phone in the cab and call it repeatedly the next day until the cab guy answers and brings it to me?

Someday, I'll share these items with my child. Maybe.

Elsa

The volvo wagon has arrived for the Ben Black. His mom car. With presets on NPR and a gps that takes us directly to whole foods right after a stop at the soccer fields.

We have named her Elsa. It's a sturdy name. The name of someone with a big ass. A gentle giant.

You've been gone too long.

So I went for a quick shopping trip on Saturday morning (Ben got in late fri night and baby was sleeping.) Ben and I have already given one another our gifts. Crazy, I know. However, our Christmases are crazy. We are constantly on the roll between one parent house to the next with zero time for "our" tradition or "our" Christmas time. We end up opening gifts in one of our childhood bedrooms and calling it a day.

Anyway, so I went to get a piece of his gift at our outdoor mall. Then I'm intrigued by Ann Taylor Loft. Apparently, not your moms Loft anymore. So I'm checking out with my gifts for myself and I'm all, "So when did you guys open here?" I was totally thinking it was like... this week.

September 17.

Wow. I've been gone too long my friends.

Emerging from hunger.

So Ben got me the Kindle for Christmas. What's that you say? It's days away? Pish Posh. It's a season so completely normal for me to get this on December 4th. My leveraging point was that I gave him his watch in November (new sports watch because he was doing an adventure race.) So, to make things right in the world he either needed to gift me my present that had arrived earlier that week, or give me back the watch and he can have it on Christmas. I also played the guilt card of him leaving me for the second time in a month for an entire week.

It's dreamy. I didn't think I wanted one, because I really like books. Then, I kind of changed my mind. Now, I'm obsessed. Love it. When I'm holding baby or rocking him I can read with one hand. I've also reduced my already little sleep by reading the first book of The Hunger Games in like 2 days. For reals. I was totally going to go to bed early last night. Then I looked up and it was way later than intended. Then I came home and read for 2 hours. I downloaded the 2nd book, but am not allowing myself to read tonight.

And... Jules Vern. I totally know who that is, oddly. Someone get this woman a glass of wine. Done and done.

Kindle. Love.

Proof my baby can morph into looking like me.

This is my nephew at 5 months old. How much do he and G look alike?

4 months... a little late.

I don't think he could be any cuter. Then again, I have a slight bias. Whatever. He also watched WNTW with me this morning. AND he slept for 2 hours so I could clean the house. He also did well in the car when we absolutely did NOT drop B off at the airport at 6 this morning.

I mean really? Cuteness??
And, I'm trying to ween him from the swaddle. He is revolting. So I put him in a sleep sack and just swaddled his arms... this is a slow process. Someone LOVES him some swaddle. Advice on that?

And this puppy dog loves him some Griffin

like twice as fast.

So I'm no mathematical genius (except that one time that I got a 90's on a stats test in college) but...

Yesterday I was at the pharmacy waiting to pick up a prescription and a lady was in front of me. She was saying that she had talked to her Dr. about them giving her 90 pills verses 30, and I quote, "Because it seems like the run out twice as fast."

Oh dear.

domo arigato, mr. roboto.

So Sunday Ben is heading to Japan. I guess I shouldn't announce that on the interwebs unless there are some crazies reading this. So, he's NOT going to Japan... he's just... in the shower and can't come to the phone.

Did I also mention Ben works on robots? So it's a ok to call him Mr. Roboto. Well, he may prefer Dr. Roboto. The only time he really gets called Dr. Black is when he gives his credit card to someone and in response they look at him and say, "You're a doctor?"

or that I don't get to go to Japan so we're having Sushi tonight?

Or that my child was TOTALLY more interested in the lady giving me a pedicure today than talking to me? He's one big flirt.

Or that I made an AWESOME gift for a family member for Christmas and am almost entirely done with shopping and I have my excel file for holiday cards printed and ready to go? (OCD, much? Damn. I love an excel file.)

Yes, I said cards. I'm sending them. It's huge people. All we had to do was have a baby and then I mail cards. Who knew? Guess I should have done this years ago...

Or that I spent at least 45 minutes begging for my Christmas present last night? Ben asked if I thought I really needed it. I said yes... he still didn't give it to me. I mean, kind of misleading to ask such a question.

Glitz and glam.

That's what my life is y'all. I went to pick up the cutest baby in the world this morning and thought, "you are soaking wet." This is a common sentiment in the mornings. I don't change him at night unless he's peed through his clothes or has a poopy diaper. These both happen a lot so for me to act like I don't change him at night is kind of ridiculous. I TRY not to though to enlist the "sleeping through the night" fiasco which is everyone's favorite question.

Order:

When are you getting married?

I do.

When are you having kids?

baby.

Is he sleeping through the night?

Eff off. No.

Anyway, back to the original post. SO I pick up baby and say to him "you are soaking wet." Then I realize my hand is on his back--which is not where you pee from. So, I stuck my hand in poo at 7 am. Awesome.

(PS. My doc confirmed that kids who sleep through the night at this age are the abnormal ones. So there.)

This thing on?

Testing. Testing. 1, 2, 3.

I haven't blogged in a while. Probably because we have a baby, I had about 2.5 million meetings in 3 days, and we hosted Thanksgiving for my parents, sister and Ell, Ben's parents and his cousin, Will. This means we are grownups. We have a baby, hosted Thanksgiving and are definitely sending out holiday cards this year.

I also went through the Christmas gear I bought on clearance last year at Targetsville. I forgot that I bought G some pj's. Ok, here's the deal. This is the FIRST thing I bought baby. The pj's were on sale for like $1--red Christmas ones with white polka dots. Ok, so they were folded. I unfolded them to wash them and they are TOTALLY girls. Ruffled shoulders, bows on the sleeves. He wore them anyway. Here's a photo. It's either blurry because I was working on a screwdriver or because I had the setting wrong--maybe both.

Mmmm screwdriver. We were out of champagne and B went to the store before noon, and here in the belt, you can't buy the alchy's before noon.

Elliott is maybe the most adorable kid ever (other than mine.) He's in the funny Pete Re-Pete stage. That kid is also a food thief walking around saying "ee ee--bi-bi" (eat eat, bite bite). I would say, "bite, please." Elliott's response, "bi-peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee". G and E also had some crazy adorable outfits thanks to Glammy. Yes, we are full on smocked in these parts. G is exhausted so lacked smiles.

We also took some holiday photogs today. This is a long one.

One year ago

One year ago tomorrow we announced to the family that we were going to have a baby. I can't believe it has gone so quickly. I could not be more thankful for my sweetest little boy. How much life has changed since then. Tomorrow we are hosting our first Thanksgiving. Tomorrow, I get to have some wine. Now that's ONE difference I'm also thankful for :)

4 month pictures will be up soon. Can you believe he's 4 months old? When did that happen?

Answer--Monday.

Time flies

So single momhood for my entire 6 days is over. I dreaded it. I hated that the minute my parents left and I dropped Ben off at the airport little G came down with a cold (which I just read an article in fit pregnancy that now I'm paranoid his cough that comes maybe 3x a day will turn into whooping cough or hypochondria. I'll let you know which one it is asaps.

Honestly, it wasn't so bad. I mean, don't get me wrong. I miss the hubs, but we made it. I went to bed earlier (dreamy) and, I heard from my obgyn that I don't have hpv? They made me take this test. Apparently it's required now? I was also supposed to be surprised when she announced the results over the phone. I just laughed and said, "ok." Better luck next year?

Sadly the Ben gets home late tonight and is running an adventure race tomorrow AM that we thought would be about 30 mins away, but is an hour. SO, the Gman and I won't be making the trek. sad about it. It's called the Warrior Dash and you get a beer stein at the end and I was going to make him a onesie with horns on it. It was going to be awesome and medieval. Onesies are sooooo warrior chic. Instead we'll spend our morning playing, going to buy this toy, and taking naps. Oh and I have an eye appointment.

Is 1 or 2 better? Now 3 or 4? I wish they had cocktails at such events.

watcha watcha watchawatcha want?

duvet in the blue color




These bracelets mixed with this one

These are just a couple of things. Mixed with delightful clothes from jcrew, work out clothes, and other pretty things.

The Mason Dixon.

So, until college, when I met people who lived above "the line" I didn't realize that other people didn't eat fried okra--didn't know what it was--or that on Sundays some stores opened BEFORE noon. Here in the belt--things open after church.

My parents were here this weekend and we went to brunch on Sunday and on the menu there was a "morning margarita." I hypothesised about what that could be. My best answer was that it was a normal margarita but made with orange juice instead of lime. I asked--negative. A morning margarita is simply a margarita before noon. Hilarious.

Life Partner

I have a good friend who is an actress. We grew up going to camp together, working at camp together, and call one another "life partner." She is big timing it in LA.

Then we saw this KFC Commercial. Griffin had to meet his other dad. Check it out.


Not entirely sure why he's nakers? I also hear that she's on some chase bank posters inside the bank. Yah, I'm kind of a big deal by proxy.

Oh my goodness I'm funny.

So the other night I was laying in bed and a blog post came to me. I write them in my head at night time sometimes. It was SO funny. I was so impressed by my cleverness.

Problem--no idea what that was about. I tried all last night, my first night as a single mom, (Ben is out of town), to think of what it was. I even added a little muse of What Not to Wear and some red wine to jog the memory, but alas.

Just know it was really humorous.

Drool.

So we have quite a bit of drool over here at our house.

I went to the doc on Monday. I was talking to G while he was sitting in his car seat. He was smiling, an older lady was watching us and then... I drooled.
TWICE.
ON MY BABY.
While someone was watching! (not that it's better if no one is watching--but kind of.)

Then I was like, whatevs at least I showered today.

I have had 2 friends have babies in the last week, more people announce pregnancy, my sister is pregnant, my bff from growing up is due in December--needless to say--there are a ton of babies going on around here. Hellooooooooo recession.

But, I went back and read my posts right before I had G and right after. I looked at his sweet little newborn pictures and then at the big boy he is now. He is a super smiler, he giggles, he talks, he can stand up. I cannot believe how much he has changed since he was born. How his features have changed. How much more he sleeps at night. How TINY he was. Then I think about exhaustion, and then I think about how much I love him--and I totally get why people have more kids.

For now, though, I'm enjoying mine.

busy legs

It cracks me up when he moves his legs like this.

It's like oil and vinegar.

Apparently that's NOT the saying. My bad. I think it's pretty logical because oil and vinegar don't mix either. Whatevs.

Funny, so I have a friend whose husband says they are going to "wash" the baby instead of bathe. She tries to tell him that you wash cars and dogs, but you bathe babies. (I will say I also bathe my Gizmo.)

Anywho, I finally had to tell Ben that we don't "put Griffin down." He will ask, "did you get him put down?" This IS something people do to animals. Euthanasia.

Which is also not "youth in asia"... like I thought it was for a long time.

I'm surprisingly intelligent sometimes.

I laugh.

So at Fin's daycare there are 2 little girls (both 2) who will pretend cry and say, "I crying." Cracks me up.

This, however--is the best sound I've ever heard.

Is it one word or two?

After picking G up from Ms. Frances's yesterday and avoiding eye contact with dad who has to know I'm crazy because tere are only 5 other kids there and was headed home only to see a group of cops ahead right past my street. One of them is waving me ahead.

Immediate thought--OMG there must be an escaped convict who is jumping from backyard to backyard and they are worried about us.

Reality--it is a speed trap and he was waving me a head to pull me over. I got off with a warning, mostly because I think he had some sympathy for my starving and exhausted BABY in the backseat. There were 4 other cops just waving people over which I think is a jerky thing to do. Which made me wonder...

Is dickwad one word or two?

Embarrassing update.

So Remember how I took my baby to the wrong house for daycare? And a dad answered the door?

Yah... his kid totally goes to Ms Frances, too. I see him most mornings.

I'm not going to acknowledge that it was me and hope he's forgotten?

pictures.

I'm a fist bumper.


Proud dad. We kinda forced him to dress up even though it was bed time. Griffin, not Ben.

I love to stick out my tongue. It says, "I'm awesome."

A moby wrap nap after mom had some starbucks. It was a good walk.

Dear CPS, (how inappropriate can I be?)

Halloween is probably a cps nightmare. Exhibit A: I saw a 10-12 year old child (with his supposed dad?) dressed as a pimp. Complete with cane. I had my phone out ready to take a picture, but the baby started crying and then I had to go in and check on him and we missed the photo op. I also had some teenage girls with their little sisters who were.... scantily clad. Oh dear. I mean, you can't start dressing trashy for halloween until college.

Question--Why do pimps have canes? Do you first have a limp and then consider the profession? Or, once you become a pimp does one of your legs shrink? OR does someone else mess you up post pimping? OMG were there more pimps back when polio was alive and kickin'? wow... did I just say that?

Do pimps in Texas wear super heavy coats year around? I mean, it gets hot here, yo.
boys gone wild?

Sleep deprivation is funny.

SO I thought that pregnancy brain was bad... apparently sleep deprivation brain also bad. bad bad bad.

This morning I went to take Griffin to daycare and drove up and thought... that's weird. Her door looks different. I guess she took the stuff down. Odd that her door is closed. Then I rang the doorbell... and a guy without a shirt came to the door. Ps. It was the wrong house. Her house still looks the same. You just have to be standing in front of it to know that.

And, FYI. I'm 31 as of yesterday. I didn't have this guy with me last year.

Same old place... same old comments.

So today was my first day back, and G's first day of school. My day back went better than his day, I think. I did remarkably well. I haven't cried today AND my mom sent me flowers to work. Kind of awesome. Griffin, however, slept a grand total of 45 minutes while he was gone. I'm hoping this changes when he gets used to the mass chaos of other kids. I hope.

So at work it was sweet to have everyone come and say hi, be excited I'm back, tell me that they know how it feels. That helps. Then this happens...

Girl comes in and says hi, asks how Griffin is bla bla bla

Me: Wow, you're super skinny! (she's lost like 20 lbs)
Her: Thanks! You used to be. You will be again.

Things you never say to anyone. Ever. Even if I was the same weight I was when I gave birth you say, "wow, you look great."

At least it gives me good fodder for blog posts. AND, our first day of "school" photog.

Why do people say stupid things?

Tubby Tuesday (or emotional train wreck Tuesday) is going to be postponed for Tubby Wednesday... or wobbly wednesday? Or woefully starved wednesday? (though I'm not starved hence the weight gain.) Something like that. I forgot to weigh myself this morning and I'm pretty sure I've lost nothing, if not gained weight since last week. Damn you Halloween and my inability to have self control.

Anyway, so this weekend G and I accompanied Ben to the beer festival. It was a BEAUTIFUL day and we wanted to head outdoors and what better reason than drinking beer out of tiny cups? It made me feel like I was indulging because I had multiple 2 ounce servings...and a hot dog.

So we're standing chatting with some friends and a lady comes up with her baby and says, "ahh, how old is he?"
Me: 3 months this week. How old is yours?
her: 8 months
her: Wow, don't those things scare you?
(he was in his carseat/stroller combo with a monkey wubbanub)
Me: No?
her: They make me think of SIDS. I never want anything around my baby's face.
Me: Um... he only has it in the car seat. When I'm driving I can reach back and find it.
Her: well they just freak me out.
Me: ahhh your baby has a full out mohawk.

I mean, obvi the thing doesn't scare me if I'm GIVING it to him. It's not like he found a dime on the floor and is eating it.

Why do people say things like that? It makes me be southernly tacky. I should have just added "bless her heart." Granted, my baby has a mohawk, but less hair so it's cuter.

And I'll leave you with this... (with a lovely teething blanket made by our lovely friend Jeannie!)

step one

have a baby.

Step 2. Go to the pumpkin patch.

Step 3. Go to the beer festival.

We've done all of those things... two of them yesterday.